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Am I a horrible bass player?

#101
Katthestar said:
I drove home thinking about practicing my butt off and working with my bass teacher to try and connect more with the guitar
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That. Right there. All that matters. Brush them off. It happens, we all play less than we think we should be capable of at one time or another, most all of us get dumped at least once. It sucks, it stings, move forward and back to what you said that I quoted above. You got this.
 
#102
Welcome to TB, @Katthestar ! Hopefully you have seen enough here to know it's a friendly, helpful place.

Sister to sister....
1) Do not give up playing bass. We can't let the boys have all the fun! :D

2) You are a far braver soul than I, trying to get into a band after only a year of experience. I had 5 years on the instrument when I got called in to sub on my church's worship team - and that experience whipped my behind hardcore. Playing in your bedroom is one thing, playing with a full band on a stage a whole other experience. You have now gotten your feet wet in that area, and know what to work on. Focused practice is productive practice.

3) We ladies tend to have more fragile self-esteem than our brethren, as we're socialized from the jump to be more sensitive to others' needs. We tend to tie up our worth and value into how well we please others, and it really cuts when others express displeasure. Even worse when they go about it as these folks did to you.

Know this: you have worth apart from your skill on the bass. We're human beings, not human doings. Find your inner peace, that sense of worth that lets you shrug off criticism and not take it on as a personal wound. For me, it took coming to a personal faith in Christ. Others choose different paths. But find the way to be able to look at yourself in the mirror, accept that you're a flawed human, and be perfectly OK with that - to be "OK in the skin you're in". Helps one bounce back from incidents like this a lot faster.

4) Just because you didn't please this crew doesn't mean you can't find someone who you CAN gel with. A statistic I've heard quoted often is that 10% of people won't like you no matter WHAT you do. You might have run into a few of those. Sod them. Go find the other 90%. ;)

5) ...and I might get stoned for saying this, but...females also tend to be high on drama factor...don't be afraid to go jam with some guys. I find them to be a bit easier to deal with. The secular band I'm in, I'm the only chick. And we get along fabulously. (well, except for personality clashes between me and the bandleader on occasion - but hey, humans human! :p)

Chin up, dust yourself off, pick up that bass and get some 'shedding in! Do please check back in and let us know how things progress.
 
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#104
Everybody has bad audition, gig, band drama stories. It’s just part of the game.

On the other hand, the get together or audition or practice had one clear, reasonable goal: three tunes. Show up ready to rock em.

Now, if these tunes at tempo are out of reach and you have a week to get up to speed, it’s time to get to work. If you can’t put in the time, postpone or bow out.

The tuning snafu should have been sorted out quickly. Just downtune and play as normal. Lots of bands do this, and you might find you like the looser feel of down tuned strings.

A good hang is key. If you are freaking because you aren’t cutting it, you can’t really expect the good hang thing to happen. Nobody wants to sign on with a band mate that shows up with excuses and problems.

It’s like showing up for a chemistry test without knowing the material, except louder.

Tough lesson, but one of the more valuable ones to learn early.

Learn the tunes, and stay in contact. You might get another shot.

It’s a long road, just keep on trucking.
 
#105
This learning experience had already made you better and you don't realize it yet. You must trudge thru many episodes of tricky high pressure situations and difficult persons. Keep going and someday you will reflect and be glad you did.
 
#106
Don’t take it to heart. There are many , many ups and downs on a musical journey. I’ve been rejected, accepted , told I was wonderful, told I wasn’t “rock and roll enough”, whatever. . .

Move on , keep on playing because your love of music and the ability to create it is something that no one can ever take away from you. It’s a gift.
 
#108
gln1955 said:
If I gather correctly, before this "practice" took place they never played with you or even heard you play. This wasn't practice, it was an audition. So, you didn't pass their audition. Not a big deal really. We've all been there at one point or another. Learn from it and move on. The thing is, auditions go both ways. The band knew you were inexperienced yet didn't tell you the keys they play songs in, didn't give you decent charts and didn't try to work with you during the audition. Then they weasel out by giving you the happy face BS before texting you the bad news. THEY failed their audition. Badly.

There will be more opportunities, lots more. Next time, you know'll how to be better prepared and nail it.
Click to expand...

The impression I got was that they DIDN'T hold an audition, they just jumped in without one and then fired the OP. Again, reflects more a lack of professionalism on their part than anything. Would have been better if they did organize an audition, with clear expectations. I assume they're young.
 
#109
I didn’t read all of the replies, so someone may have said something similar. First, don’t sweat it... seriously. They could have definitely handled letting you go better. We learn more from our failures than our accomplishments. Cliche, but true. Secondly, get all of the info you can before a rehearsal. Tuning, tempo, changes, etc. Also, practice with a backing track or metronome. Learn the songs until you can play them in your sleep, and you’re almost to the point of boredom (for lack of a better term) with them. (That’s something I should do more) Sometimes you don’t realize how much your tempo is changing when it’s just you. That comes from experience. I knew the songs, but when I played with some friends I felt like an idiot. I was off, BAD! You aren’t alone when it comes to this. Keep pushing forward, and good luck!
 
#110
While there was certainly things that weren't cool about the way they handled the audition, there are definitely things you can do better next time.

1. Learn the tunes. You said you didn't have much time - make time or don't take an audition. You went in unprepared.
2. Communicate. Find out what the other band members want and make it happen.
3. Be confident at all times. Your unpreparedness resulted in your lack of confidence.

You've got a great attitude towards playing and improving. Keep at it! You now know what to expect and will be ready next time. Good luck!

Edit: I also think it's possible they were sincere at the rehearsal when they said you can work on things. Maybe when you left they talked about things and decided it wasn't going to work. Maybe they weren't being cowards on purpose. It's possible. More likely they just didn't have the guts to say it to your face.
 
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#111
Hey, I got thrown out of a band because I was horrible about 40 years ago, and I’m still at it, constantly trying to improve.

There are still tons of situations that I’m not a fit for, but after a while you get the perspective that sometimes it’s you, sometimes it’s them. You just keep on trying to improve as best you can, and you find the settings where your particular skills can really shine.
 
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#112
My take from reading the post is that you shot yourself in the foot by not just dropping the tuning on your bass and play normally. Usually, Drop D means DADG, but I suspect you're talking D Standard, DGCF. Some bands do that for a "fatter" sound, some do it to help the singer hit the high notes. I think that if you had dropped to DGCF and just went for it, you would have done 200% better than trying to play while transposing. Well, lesson learned, it won't be the last bad audition, but stick in there. Every bad audition actually makes you a better player because it shines a light on your weaknesses. Or the band is a bunch of a--holes. (oops, almost didn't censor. Sorry mods)
 
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#116
Katthestar said:
I've never posted before, so hello. I switched to bass last year so I could join a surf rock band. I found myself really loving bass. I have 4 of them, and an Ashdown Engineering 115 watt amp. I love all of my basses.

I met with some girls and we were going to start a Green Day cover band. We picked out three songs and just played together today. I'm not going to lie, I didn't do that well. I had trouble keeping up and the charts I had were in standard tuning, except for one. They were playing EVERY song in drop D. The guitarist was mad at me for not tuning in drop D. I did after a couple of songs, but I was trying to just play down a fret on my bass. I had a hard time keeping up because they were playing at tempo and never slowed down or stopped to work on a few measures here and there. Still, I tried to use my ears and catch on as best I could. I felt like I got better as time went on. I had trouble finding the time to practice this week.

I even mentioned my concerns that I was the weak link, but they brushed it off and said that as long as we got along personally, we would be fine. They kept saying we were in good shape. I drove home thinking about practicing my butt off and working with my bass teacher to try and connect more with the guitar. I was really excited to play in a band finally.

Of course, after I got all my stuff put back in at home, I got a text where they said I wasn't working out. This was only our first practice and we had no gigs coming up or anything. I suspect that the husband of one of the girls wanted to play the bass instead. I know I didn't do well, but I was hoping to improve.

I feel so depressed now. It really did feel personal because they didn't say anything to me while I was there. I thought about just getting together with the guitar player for a practice together so we could work stuff out. We had even talked about next week. They didn't really give a reason other than I wasn't "working out".

I called my bass teacher and he said it was kind of poopy of them to dump me after only one practice, since we were just forming and didn't have a gig set up or anything.

I'm worried I'm the world's worst bass player and that I should just quit. That I'm a stupid musician and that my ears are no good. I really wanted to play with others and I wanted to put the work in, too. I tried to follow the tabs and charts I had. When I got lost, I would try to find the roots and just play those to see if I could line up with the guitarist. For them to lie to my face really hurt. I didn't have a lot of confidence before, and now it's shattered. I played in a band as a guitar player for a while and it wasn't like this. They didn't want me singing, but even though I was a newbie they kept me around.

I thought I was okay at bass. I thought my bass teacher had taught me well and I graduated from music school. I feel so stupid and ashamed now. I'm wondering if I should just sell my gear to pay off my debt.

This is more me venting than anything else. i'm just so shocked and upset. I could understand if we had practiced together a few times, but after 1 practice just seems so sudden. That they couldn't tell me to my face really hurts, too. I believed I could get better, and that I just needed to play more with the guitarist so we could lock in. I hate how they lied to me and said getting along mattered more. I feel like it's all my fault. I'm sorry if I sound like an idiot.
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This sounds like you got thrown to the lions and your weaknesses showed.
Been there, done that, but from a different angle.
I was taught music at a very young age on a piano. I think that made it a lot easier later for me. Later I was taught classical guitar for 4 years and did well. As a teenager I tried to transition to electric guitar but always found the technical differences in technique and style not easy to overcome. When I first started to learn the bass many years later I was very rusty with guitar and I think that may have actually helped. The bass should be treated as an entirely new and different instrument than a guitar with 2 less strings. Function and technique are very different in a musical context. The differences can be as stark as the guitar is like the pianist's right hand and the bass is the left.
You have only been playing for a year. It takes time to get proficient and I can only encourage you to stick it out. I have found that I can find many mediocre guitarists and even a few that are good but it is harder sometimes to find a really good bass player that anchor the rhythm section.
Good luck and welcome to the low end. I hope you stay, we need good bassists.
 
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#117
One of the band's I play in, only the mandolin player has written music, not lead sheets but words and chords. I've jumped on because I m playing different chords, The OP mentioned he/she had formal training, I wonder if some of the problems with the the day, practice, was bass music was not available.
 
#120
Some lessons you can take away from this:

- Preparation is key for any job interview, and especially for an audition. It's hard to over-prepare - it's easy to be caught on the hop if you're under-done. Preparing will also help you gauge whether you're up to scratch for the gig or whether you will be in way over your head (being a little over your head is fine, but being totally non-functional isn't going to work for anyone);
- Interpersonal dynamics are incredibly important, particularly in the long term. Whilst you can't expect everybody to be your friend, you don't want to end up in a toxic environment. In your situation, being rejected was a favour to you, as it sounds like working with those personalities would have been fraught and unhealthy, to say the least.

Importantly - many more opportunities will come your way - competent bass players are a rare and prized commodity, so, as many have already said, don't sweat this bad experience.
 
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