Am I wrong?

[LAST_C]

Hi all.

Long story short, I was in a classic rock cover band. I had to travel out of town for 5 days and I let them know way ahead of time. While I'm out of town, they scheduled to play at an open mic bar the same day I was returning. I asked if they expected me to go straight from the airport to the bar because it would be nearly impossible.

BL answer was that they would use any bassist that might show up or simply play without bass. I took offense because my expectation was that, we could do two rehearsals when I came back and then go at full strength the following Monday. Booking is not an issue because it's an open bar and you just show up, basically.

There were a few things bothering me (Lead guitar and singer are married and would argue constantly and they would insist on me rehearsing 2 times a week when I made clear from the beginning I could do one)

Am I wrong?

 

[jthisdell]

Open mic is every week so I'm going home, let's do next week.

Two times a week is unnecessary and probably counter productive.

Not interested in listening to anyone argue about anything.

 

[ArtechnikA]

you're offended because you can't play for nothing?
i'd call that a good thing...
if they want to play for nothing with a pickup bassist, let 'em.
you can't control what they do, anyway...

 

[LAST_C]

Exactly my thoughts.

 

[LAST_C]

you're offended because you can't play for nothing?
i'd call that a good thing...
if they want to play for nothing with a pickup bassist, let 'em.
you can't control what they do, anyway...

No. I took offense because, after spending weeks and weeks learning the songs, the minute I'm gone they decide that, for the sake of just playing, they rather go without a bass player of grab someone from the crowd instead of waiting for me and play the following Monday. I don't mind doing an occasional freebie.

 

[ArtechnikA]

No. I took offense because, after spending weeks and weeks learning the songs, the minute I'm gone they decide that, for the sake of just playing, they rather go without a bass player of grab someone from the crowd instead of waiting for me and play the following Monday. I don't mind doing an occasional freebie.

still confused...
is the material so difficult that it takes weeks to learn, or is it so simple that any walk-in bass player can do it?
they're a duo -- clearly they don't always need you. there will always be bookings available for duos where a 3rd doesn't fit, for many reasons.
if they need the practice performing in public, or so crave the attention, let them. you can't stop them anyway. and it really doesn't affect you.
you seem to be approaching this from an either/or perspective.
where is it written that you can't -also- play the following Monday?

 

[mike buzzetti]

What's the problem its an OPEN MIC!! , Who cares ??? let them do all the FREE they want , when its a paid gig as a band be prepared !

 

[two fingers]

If there's one thing I've learned in 35+ years of doing live music it's this. Never, EVER, work with a band that has a COUPLE as band leaders. Never again. No, thank you.

I'm not even going to work with a band if the BL's SO has ANYTHING to do with the band. Nope.

All that said, I'm confused. Have you never played much classic rock? Something doesn't add up. You took weeks to get up to speed on the material. But they're just going to grab a guy from the audience to do the same stuff?

 

[LAST_C]

still confused...
is the material so difficult that it takes weeks to learn, or is it so simple that any walk-in bass player can do it?
they're a duo -- clearly they don't always need you. there will always be bookings available for duos where a 3rd doesn't fit, for many reasons.
if they need the practice performing in public, or so crave the attention, let them. you can't stop them anyway. and it really doesn't affect you.
you seem to be approaching this from an either/or perspective.
where is it written that you can't -also- play the following Monday?

The material is not difficult, but I had to learn some 25 to 30 songs, some I've never heard before, because I never played classic rock until I joined them.

They're not a duo. The band has a lead guitar/singer, rhythm guitar, keyboards and a female singer (the wife)

I guess they crave the attention of something, that I don't know.

I might be approaching it the wrong way. That's the purpose of the thread, to discuss and see things from another perspective.

I was available the following Monday. I'm very flexible and always found ways to fulfill my obligations. I just don't see the benefit of playing without your bassist. What is there to gain?

 

[LAST_C]

If there's one thing I've learned in 35+ years of doing live music it's this. Never, EVER, work with a band that has a COUPLE as band leaders. Never again. No, thank you.

I'm not even going to work with a band if the BL's SO has ANYTHING to do with the band. Nope.

All that said, I'm confused. Have you never played much classic rock? Something doesn't add up. You took weeks to get up to speed on the material. But they're just going to grab a guy from the audience to do the same stuff?

That's what they said. I don't think you can just grab someone from the audience and expect to know the songs. But, I guess that's just me. And yes, I've never been in a classic rock band before so, I had to learn almost 3 sets of songs. Few I knew, the rest were completely new to me.

 

[LAST_C]

What's the problem its an OPEN MIC!! , Who cares ??? let them do all the FREE they want , when its a paid gig as a band be prepared !

I get were you're coming from but, what's the rush? why can't they wait one more week? Why would you go play without a bassist, or maybe one that doesn't know the songs and make a fool out of yourself?

If it was a paid gig, then its fine by me if you get another bassist to cover for me. I wouldn't want them to loose money because of me of an opportunity to get a steady gig. But, for an open mic? why can't you just wait a week?

 

[mrjim123]

Honestly, yes, you are wrong, at least about the open mic gig. You are out of town, why can't they have a little fun? IMO, an open mic gig is no real commitment on anyone's part.

W/r respect to rehearsal frequency - that's something y'all have to work out, but you DID let them know up front you could only do once a week, so you're not wrong on that count.

 

[DrBnz]

Thats a lot of practice time and after all that practice, you wanna go live without me? Yeah, that would rub my fur the wrong way a little bit. But this is All to play an OPEN MIC??? FFFFfffft...Let em.....
I'd be pissed initially too. But after thinking it thru, I'd blow it off and just show up to the next practice.

 

[mike buzzetti]

I get were you're coming from but, what's the rush? why can't they wait one more week? Why would you go play without a bassist, or maybe one that doesn't know the songs and make a fool out of yourself?

If it was a paid gig, then its fine by me if you get another bassist to cover for me. I wouldn't want them to loose money because of me of an opportunity to get a steady gig. But, for an open mic? why can't you just wait a week?

its an open mic , hence anybody plays ! bass or not , I sit in on planty on gtr no bass ! then at times Ill play bass so ??? 6/half dozen , I wouldnt worry about it just move on , under the bridge so to speak.

 

[ArtechnikA]

If it was a paid gig, then its fine by me if you get another bassist to cover for me. I wouldn't want them to loose money because of me of an opportunity to get a steady gig. But, for an open mic? why can't you just wait a week?

Who knows why musicians decide to do anything...
We can't tell you why, but -maybe- your bandmates can - have you asked them?
One thing I am sure of - you will never convince them it is not a good idea. Even if it's not.

 

[LAST_C]

Honestly, yes, you are wrong, at least about the open mic gig. You are out of town, why can't they have a little fun? IMO, an open mic gig is no real commitment on anyone's part.

W/r respect to rehearsal frequency - that's something y'all have to work out, but you DID let them know up front you could only do once a week, so you're not wrong on that count.

I understand what you're saying but, if you're trying to sell a product, wouldn't you try and do it the best way possible? There could be people that are interested in hiring the band, or people that like what they see and start following the band. I don't know. Maybe I'm thinking big picture here.

 

[LAST_C]

Thats a lot of practice time and after all that practice, you wanna go live without me? Yeah, that would rub my fur the wrong way a little bit. But this is All to play an OPEN MIC??? FFFFfffft...Let em.....
I'd be pissed initially too. But after thinking it thru, I'd blow it off and just show up to the next practice.

Well, I quit the band so that ship already sailed.

 

[kesslari]

It sounds like my hometown - a good place to be from, rather than in. I think quitting was a good move in the long run.
Find a better situation and rock on!

 

[smogg]

Well, I quit the band so that ship already sailed.

^^^^ IMO this is the right answer. ^^^^
Lets see here....
Husband & wife team running the band = red flag (been there done that never works out)
Cover band wants ongoing rehearsals twice a week? Ridiculous
Playing a jam night thinking it will lead to real gigs = Optimistic at best

Probably best to walk away and don't look back. IF you want to "take the high road" offer to be their fill in bassist for X amount of dollars per show and no rehearsals.

Just my 2 cents nothing more.

 

[coy garcia]

I think your mistake was taken offense because you were not available for a free show. The people I play with all play with other people. The reward is when they tell you they prefer playing with you. You'll find a better situation.