Am I wrong?

[Dirtnap]

That's a lesson learned. I will never join another band with couples in it.

Don't prejudge all couples. Just take them on a case-by-case basis.

 

[LBS-bass]

I've been gigging a long time so I've been involved in more than a few bands with spouses, the ratio is no different that of the usual band infighting. It can work or it can't work, no more or no less than usual band issues.

Siblings are probably worse. Every band has problems between members.

 

[Chickenwheels]

Post #17: OP has quit the band.

 

[LBS-bass]

Post #17: OP has quit the band.

Over an OPEN MIC? Hilarious.

 

[Chickenwheels]

Over an OPEN MIC? Hilarious.

Well, that’s part of the problem of the problem, I guess.
I feel that no one should post about their band unless video evidence is provided. Hehe.

 

[LBS-bass]

They really didn’t argue often - but even one time is one time too much.

The one time my SO started sniping at me during a rehearsal I told him afterwards that if any other bandmember disrespected me like that in a rehearsal they'd be fired on the spot, and that I'd absolutely fire him the next time it happened. It never did.

There are ways to keep that stuff from occurring.

 

[LBS-bass]

Well, that’s part of the problem of the problem, I guess.
I feel that no one should post about their band unless video evidence is provided. Hehe.

I guess his bandmates argue a lot, too. That would probably bother me. I wouldn't see it as a couples thing, though. Bands are like families and arguing will happen, related or not.

 

[Killing Floor]

Maybe my evil genius is misinterpreted. But given that it’s an open mic would you not assume some rando bass player would come to the bar with the intent of playing? So what’s the problem?

 

[Headless horse]

I can't understand the airport travel to club gig and BL decision to play with any bassist or without if he knew your timing before he managed the gig. As to 2 times in a weak rehearsals - could work if sometimes someone can't be there and everybody would consider it as a normal thing. As to "am i wrong" - you should tell the band, that kind of things will never happen or this is end. Keep fighting if that really does mean to you much.

 

[two fingers]

1) an open mic is not a gig. It's an open opportunity for anyone to play in front of others if they want to.
2) a band that has no actual gigs on the books does not need to rehearse weekly. Never mind twice a week.
3) there's no reason your bandmates can't find someone in the audience who will know three to five songs that are on your setlist already; that's about how many songs you'll get at an open mic.
4) there's no reason you can't come out and do the fun thing with them the following week.
5) you're taking an open mic way too seriously

That's why you're the Queen of Concise.

Uh.... everything she said.

 

[Neil Folkard]

Not every couple is the Bickersons, nor are they always joined at the hip as a voting bloc. Maturity counts for a lot and each situation should be judged on its own merit. I abhor these stereotypes.

Could not agree more. In one of the bands I'm in with my SO, the guitarist was initially very skeptical about the 'democratic voting bloc' on band issues...assuming that we would we always agree with each other. He found out very quickly that wasn't the case and we are actually two individual people, with independent thought. He was happy to be wrong. The band has been together now for over 7 years.

 

[Killing Floor]

I played bass in a band that was with a husband and wife as BL and guitarists/singers. They worked together too. And had young kids. Which meant the band had young kids. Individually, I got along with each person really well. And in the best of times, practices were a lot of fun. But man, on the off days where they had a disagreement about something in their personal life, you could cut the tension with a knife in the practice space. And if they started going at each other during practice, you just wanted to be anywhere besides there. They really didn’t argue often - but even one time is one time too much.

Been there. Committed couple, drummer and singer. 95% of the time it was smooth sailing. They got into a screaming brawl in front of an A/R agent and you can guess how that ended. I never played in any band with a “couple” again.

 

[wiscoaster]

.....Am I wrong?

Long story short answer: you can't play classic rock without a bass. Period. If that's their position, you need to find a different band to play with. They're not only way out of line, they're also musical idiots.

 

[getrhythm]

They’re just not that into you.
No, I don’t think you’re wrong.

 

[Topkat13]

Try sitting down with these cats and have a nice “can you help me understand why” conversation. Let us know how it goes too.

 

[bdplaid]

If there's one thing I've learned in 35+ years of doing live music it's this. Never, EVER, work with a band that has a COUPLE as band leaders. Never again. No, thank you.

I'm not even going to work with a band if the BL's SO has ANYTHING to do with the band. Nope.

This was the first thing I thought of, too. Wait until they fire someone without your input.

As for the OP's conundrum, it sounds like a wounded ego to me. I get that, as I've had them myself. The only thing I can tell you is to toughen up. There are lots of things that will happen that will kick you in the (b)ass. Look to the band couple for that, because it's probably coming. Make no mistake, it's their band, and any input you think you have, you don't.

 

[VoodooJazz]

Go to a different open mic; find your next band.

 

[comatosedragon]

Not interested in listening to anyone argue about anything.

Boy are YOU in the wrong place!

/s

 

[Michael Stanley 2112]

I'm thinking it's the band's way of holding "open auditions" right under your nose.

 

[MotorCityMinion]

Open mic night, usually anything goes. You don't wanna play, don't play. No need for drama.