all that being said, creating a "life-like" sound would be way beyond my capabilities—luckily it's not something i want to do.
For sure. Once I started to read a tutorial about matching the spectra of an acoustic instrument, and I stopped because (A) it was a lot of work and (B) why?
I do love FM but most of the time, I will run with two operators and keep it simple. For 4-op I do have Akemie's Castle (old-school Yamaha FM chip, but with knobs and CV) and RYK Algo (super clean modern FM, but with knobs and CV) and find those a lot easier to work with... mostly because I can always fall back on the "turn knobs and see how it sounds, OK that one's nice" school of sound design.