high risk improv gigs ...[snip]... Any advice on recovering from one that doesn't go your way?
You've already received a lot of good advice and well-deserved encouragement in this thread, but, as another veteran of several decades of high-risk improv gigs, the bolded part caught my eye.
The realization that gave me the courage, conviction, inspiration, and (frankly) sheer hubris to continue pursuing those sorts of performances was that, regardless of what sounds are coming out of my instrument,
it's going "my way" ...because that's
me making those sounds. Regardless of how many other collaborators are onstage, there's no one else I can blame for the sounds
I'm making. And as a creative improvisor, one of the things in my skillset that I need to rely on is the ability to
react to my own output, to control what the music sounds like
here, now, out there in the room, not just in my imagination or in some idealized environment.
So if I don't like the way it sounds, I need to do something different. And the sound of live music evolving in real-time in order to more closely achieve something I hoped it might sound like...
that is "my way"