I haven't used the cabsim, except for occasional home experimentation. There might be a use for them live or in the studio but I haven't had a need because what I get has been great so far.I've had similar experiences, but haven't tried backing off on the tone of any of my basses... I'll have to give that a shot!
Are you using the cabsim at all? I personally think it sounds so much better with the cabsim off.

It was the perfect overdriven tone I was able to get in the studio. Plenty of punch to cut thru the mix & a bit of snarl that was tamed or accentuated depending on my attack. This is what I was hoping for.