• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Another 'Firing a Band Member' Thread!

#41
Col Pruse said:
Any advice on how to approach this?
Click to expand...
yeah, here's some advice:
- be honest. be direct. he's not your enemy --- but he's no longer useful re: your process or your goals.
- dont be a chicken :poop: --- any one of you (even if you do it together --- depends on the band 'culture') should be able to pull this off.
- don't look back...go forward, and overlook 'reactions' --- all of you need to 're-up'!....
- learn from it. individually and collectively ....
- be more 'proactive' in the future.
- be thankful it wasn't you! :D

good luck with your forthrightness, your playing, and your band! :thumbsup:
 
  • Like
Reactions: thetaxmiser and teh-slb
#43
Just wait till your next gig and tell him during sound check, or bring in another guitar player unannounced at your next rehearsal.
(I’ve seen both these scenarios go down)
Seriously though, IMO, since there’s no default “leader” you all should sit down and let him know how you feel, why you feel that way and what actions you are taking moving forward. Be organized and thoughtful, tear the bandaid off.
 
#44
If you want to avoid the situation completely, call a band meeting saying the band is splitting up. Everyone can give an excuse for leaving. Then take a 1 month break from getting together. Then form the band back together without him. If he finds out and confronts you, just say you guys called each other to jam and one thing lead to another, and started a new project in a different direction than the last band.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jim622
#45
ashtray said:
If you want to avoid the situation completely, call a band meeting saying the band is splitting up. Everyone can give an excuse for leaving. Then take a 1 month break from getting together. Then form the band back together without him. If he finds out and confronts you, just say you guys called each other to jam and one thing lead to another, and started a new project in a different direction than the last band.
Click to expand...

If he thinks of himself as the leader, what claim to the band name does he have? Maybe this suggestion above is the right one... Do you guys have a following? Will there be social media drama that blows back on the band?

Who booked the regular gigs? Does this member own the relationship with the booker?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ekulati
#48
Quinn Roberts said:
How young do you have to be to be able to say that? I'm in my my early twenties; so seeing your membership active since '03 makes me assume you're a "boomer", whatever that means.

I've come to consider myself a "boomer" since every time I read this it's normally in response to something I've either found informative, useful, and/or entertaining.
Click to expand...
A person can only say "OK Boomer" if they have eaten a Tide Pod
 
  • Like
Reactions: arbiterusa, Bassdirty, james condino and 2 others
#50
Jeff Elkins said:
If he thinks of himself as the leader, what claim to the band name does he have?
Click to expand...


None, likely. This sort of thing is where lawyers will tell their client "I can do things for you to prevent them from using the name, but you probably can't afford it financially or socially..."

I was in a band where the leader decided to back out of a show at the last minute - he was the rhythm guitar player. The other band members brought in a great guitar player to play the one show with us before we basically decided to go our separate ways. Everyone except the lead singer had quite a few other projects on the go at the time.

We reassembled the entire band without him after about two months - one member was retiring and she wanted to put together a band for her party - so she picked all of us except for "Joe" who wasn't even in town. When Joe heard about it, he filed trademark papers for the band name and held them in filing limbo for about two years. I asked him why he did it and he said "Because I could..."

We thought that was a petty thing for him to do - it certainly wouldn't have stopped us from using the name, but we ended up changing our name to something else much more party-friendly.

Eventually the trade-mark filing lapsed. But the old name was vague anyway.

We're all on good terms now. Joe always treated me well, personally - he was very kind, but when the band fell apart he was pretty apprehensive about even saying "hi" to me for a while when we crossed paths.

Have a band chat with him - that's not ganging up on anyone - but I feel like if he's had many warnings, it's the for the band to come together and have a "brotherly" discussion about moving forward without the guy.
 
Last edited:
#51
Col Pruse said:
Yo! Just wanted to post here to see if I could round up some of the collective Talkbass wisdom.

So I'm in a 4 piece original 'jam' band. One member is simply not clicking anymore. Creative ideas are vastly differing from everyone else. Improv is stale, recycles the same things in almost every jam. New songs and cover suggestions are veering off in another direction. You know, the usual band stuff...

I've voiced my frustrations to the other members and they are on board, but also had separate issues that I wasn't aware of. Discussing during band meetings and specific jam practice for new ideas doesn't stick.

So I think we've decided on what we're going to do, just wimps about it. I think the affected member feels he's more of a leader of the band and will definitely be blindsided. None of us are really great friends with this member, but we've been a band for 5 years now and I don't want to be a jerk. Or at least not a big jerk.

Any advice on how to approach this?
Click to expand...

Just let him go as easy as possible. You said you'd never play with him again... never say never because you don't know what may happen in 5 years.

Just say we have different ideas about our goals, thank him for participating but its probably better for him and your band to part ways for now. This will free him up to find a band he does fit with.
 
#52
ashtray said:
If you want to avoid the situation completely, call a band meeting saying the band is splitting up. Everyone can give an excuse for leaving. Then take a 1 month break from getting together. Then form the band back together without him. If he finds out and confronts you, just say you guys called each other to jam and one thing lead to another, and started a new project in a different direction than the last band.
Click to expand...

Or just man up and have a 30 second conversation?
 
  • Like
Reactions: bassista6, Gibson Victory, ToneMonkey and 1 other person
#55
ashtray said:
If you want to avoid the situation completely, call a band meeting saying the band is splitting up. Everyone can give an excuse for leaving. Then take a 1 month break from getting together. Then form the band back together without him. If he finds out and confronts you, just say you guys called each other to jam and one thing lead to another, and started a new project in a different direction than the last band.
Click to expand...

I think the point of the thread was to come up with an honest solution, not "a kid the situation completely". The band has Ben together for years, the guy is, at the very least, owed some honesty.

Nothing pisses someone off lik being lied to.
 
  • Like
Reactions: LBS-bass
#58
If you've truly given him specific things to improve on, then its time for the performance review/"the hardest thing we have to do" speech.

I know that it's hard to tell someone they are no longer welcome in a project - especially if they feel it is their project - it's hard enough to tell a band that you're firing yourself. But it sounds like the rest of you have come to the point that you realize "this" isn't working. Three of you feel the solution is to move on with out the other guy. Why would you continue as it is?

The three of you need to pick a BL - even if your process is primarily democratic, someone needs to make final decisions on things and manage personnel decisions (my band is like that). Then decide if you want to do it together or have the elected BL do the dirty work. In either case, be respectful and honest. If the guy on the oust gets weird about, you all just quit "his band" and miraculously find each other next week and start a "new" project.

To me, if I'm not wanted in a group situation, then I don't want to be there. If my band fired me without any previous discussion, I'd be shocked, embarrassed and disappointed, but certainly wouldn't be dramatic about it. If I had been given opportunities to fix my deficiencies, then either A, I was too lazy to do so or B, my best isn't good enough and I'd probably understand. So while I would expect there to be initial shock and minor drama, if the person is anywhere near emotional adulthood, it should be "nice knowing you, maybe we'll see you again sometime" after the initial shock.
 
#59
Stevorebob said:
That said, this works only if there also clear warnings and consequences communicated well before the separation decision. No fired member should be surprised, and they should easily see that the decision not to meet the required standards was theirs.
Click to expand...
So Anyway, good advice. In my corporate career I had to terminate staff a number of times. No one was surprised as we had a 'progressive discipline' approach to follow.
I'd suggest that the OP start laying that groundwork... or maybe it's time to start your own band.
 
  • Like
Reactions: mrcbass

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back