Another funny musician wanted ad...

[WickedPissah]

I can't decide whether he's an nazi or just incredibly stupid. Maybe he's a stupid nazi?

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate that he's laying out what he expects from the band. It's nice that he's being honest. However what he is expecting is nothing short of overkill. For one thing, demanding that you only play with his band is just a tad bit extreme.

I laughed when I read "Be a: NON-SMOKER, DRUG-FREE & SOBER". I can understand the drug-free part, and "sobriety" while playing is also a good idea. Non-smoker though? If the person smokes outside or in the bar, what right does he have holding that against the guy? Also, if they're in bars, the a'hole is going to get a whif of smoke no matter what (this assumes that smoking in bars is still allowed in Canada. If not, then obviously smoking in bars would be a problem)

is there any other kind?

 

[JazzBass Love]

Smoking has been banned in Ontario bars for many years now, and more recently here in Quebec. I don't know what the laws are in other provinces.

GT

Thanks for the clarification. I'm not well versed in the laws of our great northern neighbor, so I was taking a shot in the dark.

I have to wonder if anyone will respond to his add?

 

[MtManiac]

Thanks for the clarification. I'm not well versed in the laws of our great northern neighbor, so I was taking a shot in the dark.

I have to wonder if anyone will respond to his add?

Someone with a really strong desire for abuse.

 

[Scionreality]

Trio looking for drummer & bassist?

No, see he's already got himself and another person (or the future female vox).

He's looking for one person to play drums WHILE playing bass.

Totally freakin' new age awesomeness.

 

[JazzBass Love]

is there any other kind?

True. Compared to the rest of humanity, nazis are quite stupid. He is stupid compared to nazis, which adds a bit more insult to injury.

 

[Freddels]

You need to respond to this with made up info and see if he contacts you.

 

[tank49]

I wish him luck in finding the one person in the world that fits that description and would want to play with him.

 

[Tony In Philly]

I suspect this ad is a crank -- too many inconsistencies as noted earlier by other posters. Notice how there is very scant information about anything he's done but he's practically requiring stool specimens from all applicants. I thinks it's probably just some idiot trying to get a laugh out his respondents' replies. Either that or a "band' that 98% of all TB'ers wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

 

[MtManiac]

You need to respond to this with made up info and see if he contacts you.

Ok, here's what I sent him:
Bass player
- perfect pitch
- metronomic timing
- own a van
- extremely disciplined
- available
- English is my first language
- lots of experience playing in Halifax, recently moved to Ottawa region, no experience playing local clubs
- specific songs include "What is Hip" (ToP), almost all Tragically Hip songs (was in a Hip tribute band), almost all singles from the Who, Zeppelin, etc. - too numerous to mention
- day job is selling computers for a Fortune 500 company
- my birth date is April 29, 1983
- Long term goals include dropping the day gig and making it full time in music.
- Favorite movies include everything by Stanley Kubrick

How do I know you meet my criteria? Why not you answer some of these questions yourself?

 

[Dan Mee]

Why not reply saying yes but with your own demands, I dunno, something like

Will be payed £150 a gig, plus all expenses, to and from venue, any hotel fees etc
Must pay retainer fee of £1000 per week, else other fixtures will be played.
Must recoupe all equipment maintenance costs, including purchase of new instruments and fulfilling any G.A.S.
ALL dots must be proved.
Hot girls must be proved, for A) entirety of the gig, and B) the ride home.


anymore for anymore???

 

[Nakedfish]

Where do I send my urine and blood samples for him to evaluate?

I'd send him a stool sample to pick through...

Sounds like a hot gig...

 

[RonChase]

They are obviously legends

 

[Jonyak]

the funny thing about this add is that around ottawa bass players are quite thin and most that I know I quite in demand and play in multiple bands... I dunno how this douche expects to find anyone.

 

[JazzBass Love]

FREE rehearsal room near the Ontario/Quebec border, amp & basic drum kit provided
(no cymbals, high-hats, stands).

I bet his "Free rehearsal room" is his parents' basement. Combine that with "If you have a hot sister " and it seems quite likely that this guy lives in said rehearsal room. I'm also betting that his "esoteric/new age" interest is likely his way of saying he's big into playing DnD when he's not playing World of Warcraft.

I hope I'm wrong, because if I'm not then this is just sad.

 

[baalroo]

I can edit that down for him:

Boring old prick in search of band

Hi, I'm a middle aged jerk with an over-inflated ego. I'm in search of a band of pro-caliber amateurs to submit to my will.

 

[NKUSigEp]

I vote that everyone one of us respond to that ad with the specific details it asks for...just for fun

 

[ErebusBass]

I wish him luck in finding the one person in the world that fits that description and would want to play with him.

Too bad he needs two...

 

[JazzBass Love]

I can edit that down for him:

Boring old prick in search of band

Hi, I'm a middle aged jerk with an over-inflated ego. I'm in search of a band of pro-caliber amateurs to submit to my will.

This is also a good theory. Regardless of his age/station in life, I think we all can agree that he is incredibly lame.

I wonder what his "original material" sounds like? Then again, maybe it's best if I don't know...

 

[Eilif]

Well at least he was open about being a cerebal, anal retentive control freak. I gotta' give him that much.

I agree. Being specific is one thing, but this is something else. A good professional quality ad lays out carefully selected essential criteria, and doesn't waste the musicians time requesting lots of unnecessary specifics.

Family situation, birthdate, hobbies? Is this guy looking for bandmates or spouses?

 

[AK Rev]

This is funny for a number of reasons...you fill in the reasons. My favorite though is that he's a trio looking for 2 players. That's just rich.