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Anybody hate talking/listening to small talk all the time?

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Shredder8

May 12, 2012
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#1
Whenever I go to a party, I can't stay for very long. I want to leave within 10 minutes and just go home and listen to some music or play. I can't stand talking about traffic, people's commutes, cute things their kids did, etc. Such meaningless trivial crap that doesn't matter at all. I thought there might be something wrong with me but I read this on stumbleupon http://briankim.net/blog/2007/10/top-5-things-every-extrovert-should-know-about-introverts/

That part about hating small talk and needing to recharge is SO me. It's great to have an identity and know that I'm not a freak. Anybody else here an introvert?
 
#2
Im kind of in between introvert/extrovertedness, but more of an introvert.
I dont care for small talk, but I do like to socialize to a degree.
I love parties, large groups of people, and group activities, but am often still inside my own head more so than talking to a bunch of people.
I have plenty of me time to recharge, and am often looking for opportunities to get outside of my own box.
 
#3
I am totally like that. Parties and large gatherings wear me out; I need quiet time to recharge afterwards. It's not that I don't like people, I'd just rather have a meaningful conversation with one or two people than make trivial small talk with a big group.

My suggestions for the OP (which you didn't ask for, but here they are anyway):
1. Embrace your introversion. Realize it's not a disorder or weakness, it's just a different way of relating to the world, and you can make a valuable contribution to the world just the way you are.

2. Develop some coping skills for large social gatherings, because lots of people like them and there will be some that you just can't avoid. Skim the newspaper before you go, ask open ended questions ("What do you think about ..."), offer to help the host set up or clean up, etc.
 
#5
I used to like being around people until I started listening to them. Then I had to start drinking to put up with that.

Eventually I had to give up drinking and people. Both were just too stupid and toxic.
 
#8
It depends on the setting for me. At a party, I'm there to socialize, meet new people and catch up with old friends, not have long philosophical debates(that's for later after a few too many). I don't like small talk when it comes to every day events, like getting a hair cut, sitting next to a stranger on a airplane, etc...I tend to just stay to myself and get the task at hand finished.
 
#10
EricF said:
Generally speaking, I like being around people and interacting with them. Small talk, big talk, deep talk, shallow talk - it's all fine with me.
Click to expand...

Same here buddy.

I spent part of my life feeling like people talking to me about their kids, their job, their family, and so on were wasting my time. Why should I have to listen to such irrelevant drivel? Then I realized I wasn't being much of a friend and decided to work harder at being a friend.

-Mike
 
#12
I score as an introvert on any psychometric I take, whether it's a Big Five assessment, Myers-Briggs, etc. Keep in mind that being an introvert doesn't mean you're shy or unsociable. It means that you find social situations mentally draining rather than stimulating. An introvert can be quite conservational, a great public speaker, and very charismatic. They just need to go be by themselves afterwards to decompress.

I generally dislike small talk, not because I hate small talk in and of itself, but because it's usually used as a conversational frame of reference between people who don't know each other very well. Therefore, it always feels superficial and contrived to me (e.g., the situations like haircuts that Nickbass talked about). However, I also recognize the reality that people who have a nascent or shallow relationship with each other are probably not going to automatically jump into some profound conversation about classic literature or quantum physics. In that regard, I actually do enjoy talking about less profound things with people I know fairly well.

Edit: Ooops, Shredder's article actually already stated what I pretty much said in my first paragraph. :D
 
#13
...So yesterday this guy cuts me off in traffic and I'm like OH EM GEE, so I merge left because I always drive on the right - You know, that's what you're supposed to do - do you drive on the right? You're supposed to use the left to pass only, but this guy - or was it a lady? He or she speeds up really fast and then hits his or her brakes and I was really glad it wasn't raining - You know, it hasn't rained in a while. It's gotten so dry - I hope they don't ban fireworks this summer because it's too dry - You know my cousin works for the the fireworks stands twice a year? He doesn't hardly make any money at it, but he says he just likes to be around the people - kids get so exited at the fireworks stands - Do you have kids? My two boys are just about to get out of school for the year - One's in the fourth grade and the other is in the second. Do you know what Helen Baker said the other day?....
 
#15
I love Adrian Belew. :)

I get so irritated by small talk, I think sometimes people can see it on my face. I try not to be a misanthropic recluse, but only deep conversations/debates are stimulating to me and very few people can talk about more than just themselves and what's going on in their social lives.
 
#17
knumbskull said:
it's pretty hard to jump straight in there with the big guns...
Click to expand...

Very true.

Also, something else is that I really don't like to talk about being a musician with other people, even though it's a substantial part of my life. I get bored when people start asking me questions about it, particuarly if they aren't musicians themselves. Unless they're actually planning on coming to a gig or something, I really don't feel like talking about it.
 
#18
LiquidMidnight said:
I score as an introvert on any psychometric I take, whether it's a Big Five assessment, Myers-Briggs, etc. Keep in mind that being an introvert doesn't mean you're shy or unsociable. It means that you find social situations mentally draining rather than stimulating. An introvert can be quite conservational, a great public speaker, and very charismatic. They just need to go be by themselves afterwards to decompress.
Click to expand...

When I go out with friends, I grab the attention of everyone for a while. After that I go quiet, at the end of the night I need 2 beers under a tree alone, listening to music.

Smalltalk? I don't do that any more. If I have to listen to it, I need alcohol for that and I pretend to care.
 
#19
This is what pushed me to transfer to the job I do now. I'm by myself for 12-13 hours a day with little to no interaction with others and the rest of the day is spent with my wife who is one of the few folks I can listen to.
 

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