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Asking the father

#61
i have a nine year old daughter and I can say that when she reaches dating age, ANYONE who wants to take her out on a date had better meet me...
My neighbours have teenage daughters. I watch their "dates" pick them up... none of them even get out of the car, they just sit in the driveway, tunes blaring waiting on the girl... my daughter will not be going with these jokers...
OP... you have restored my faith in young folks... and never lose that sense of respect for others... it will sever you well.
Fishheadjoe
 
#62
UncleFluffy said:
If you want to keep her, the one you need to work on most is the mother. Get Mom on your side and you're golden.
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This!! ^

Getting dad's approval gets you in the door. Getting mom's approval gets you invited to dinner.

When my daughter (now 14) gets to the point of having guys come pick her up for dates, I expect that they will come to the door, shake my hand, and look me in the eye. Waiting at the curb and not getting out of the car is not acceptable. I'm also making sure that my daughter knows what I expect so she can provide proper instruction to her young man.
 
#63
By the time I was 18, it was generally acceptable to make a date with a young lady without anyone's permission. Mind you, in those days, you picked up your date by ringing the doorbell at her house and coming inside to meet her parents. I'm glad this worked out for the OP... didn't mean to come off as dismissive before.
 
#65
Josh Pelican said:
Asking the father's permission to date his daughter is one thing... but I don't think the second one is the best option this early in the game.

Sure, loads of people have sex outside of relationships, some have sex on first dates, and some pay to have sex. I just don't think it's the best route for him to take (whether or not they're going to engage in coitus).

Next time he sees the father, he should just state his intentions.

That's just my opinion.
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my 2nd comment was in jest. I could never imagine telling a Dad that I'm intending to have sexual relations with their daughter.
 
#66
Well done on the face-to-face visit to get permission. In the words of Tony Soprano "Those who want respect, give respect." Now the hard part is keeping up with it, opening doors for her, etc. The most important thing will probably be making sure you bring her home when you say you will, and letting her parents know where you'll be when you're out with her. It seems a little much, but it'll pay off in the long run. When I was your age I dated a girl whose Dad was shall we say "connected". I made sure I was in her parents' good graces, and it worked.
 
#68
FREAKYSTLYEY said:
I see it's you again!

Then please let's not be gentlemen, or open doors for women, after all they may be offended that your not treating them as just another man. And no thank you either that so 1900s, no bless you after a sneeze it's after all it stemmed from religious beliefs. Why even show respect not like the father did anything to bring up that girl or may appreciate it, or that OP may have him as his father in law for the rest of his life. Nah all that's just sexism
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Sorry your butthurt about the work ethic thread. :D

butthurt.jpg
 
#70
MJ5150 said:
Seems like an overreaction to me, but it's how you feel so who am I to argue.

-Mike
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Thanks for respecting my view on this, Mike. I'm surrounded by sociologists every day, so I kind of see these types of things differently than the average person. Some may see it as some sort of tradition; I see it as recreating patriachal instituitions. Of course, I'm making a value judgment on that. But I digress.

For the record, I almost always get along with my girlfriends' parents. However, I butted heads with a few when I was younger (i.e., high school age), usually, because I didn't come from a rich family. :rolleyes: Yeah, totally sounds like the plot to some cliche Hollywood movie. :D
 
#71
So, when I was 17 I met my then girlfriend's grandfather. He was 'connected' to the Italian cosa nostra. The meeting went like this:

Grandfather: "So, Mac, are you planning to go to college?"

Mac (thinking of the obvious 'right' answer): "Yes, I'd like to go to college."

Grandfather: "That's great. If you don't want to go to college in a wheel chair don't knock up my granddaughter!"

:eek: YIKES!! :eek:

---

Whether or not it is 'necessary' to ask the father's permission it is a good move.

I've been married for 15 years. I still hold the door and open the car door for my wife. Chivalry never goes out of style.

Nice work, OP.
 
#73
Jazz Ad said:
Asking the father is showing very little respect to the girl, which is the only thing that count. You're not in it to shag daddy's pants.
Very very bad move to ask the father.
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Based on the OP's posts, it seems that there was some concern by the girl about an issue with her father. If the OP ignored the warning/suggestion, it seems to me that it would show very little respect for the girl. The OP is making an effort to jump through the necessary hoops for them to be able to date with much less stress. The OP didn't ask the girl's dad first. There was already an indication from the girl that she wanted to go out with him.
 
#74
what is this...meet the fockers?

The guy demands respect while disrespcting you by threatening bodily harm?

IMO, the guy is a control freak so the longer you're around him and his family, the more you have to give up of yourself, just like his family does..

Life is too short to put up with crap like this.
 
#77
t77mackie said:
So, when I was 17 I met my then girlfriend's grandfather. He was 'connected' to the Italian cosa nostra. The meeting went like this:

Grandfather: "So, Mac, are you planning to go to college?"

Mac (thinking of the obvious 'right' answer): "Yes, I'd like to go to college."

Grandfather: "That's great. If you don't want to go to college in a wheel chair don't knock up my granddaughter!"

:eek: YIKES!! :eek:

---

Whether or not it is 'necessary' to ask the father's permission it is a good move.

I've been married for 15 years. I still hold the door and open the car door for my wife. Chivalry never goes out of style.

Nice work, OP.
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I'm so glad I'm of the age where I'm not very likely to have to meet the father before I date the chick, and hopefully we've been shagging a bit before I meet the 'rents. Any person who threatens me like that will have an unpleasant time making any such threats a reality. Especially when I can get the heck outta Maryland and to a place where I really do belong (Texas, Florida, or Seattle).

Peace,
Greg
 
#80
t77mackie said:
Granddad said it with a smile and a chuckle, but if I did knock up his granddaughter methinks it could have gotten ugly. I ended up having a very good relationship with him and he liked me.

In the end she dumped me and I moved on to much greener pastures.

:)
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I hear ya, but I don't take threats very well. After two combat tours, one of which that had some verrrry interesting moments, a few other recreational near-death experiences, and conquering tasks both professionally and personally that many people gave me the "Yer Gonna Die" speech over...I could care less. More importantly, if you're going to do something you're going to do it and not warn me about it.

A lotta people have told me they're going to kill me. A few others have tried. There is nobody who's said it, and then tried it.

Peace,
Greg
 

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