Asking the father

[Munjibunga]

Well I just got back. Drove over there and talked to him. He certainly is a lot nicer than what I've heard about him.

I got my button up shirt on and drove my dads truck instead of my beater.

Shook his hand, give him my little speech. His response "I like you L, I am going to give you 1 chance. If I hear anything iffy of any sorts or I find out something I don't like. I will beat your a$$ so hard you won't remember your own name." then he smiled and shut the door.

I think that went well?

ROFL. I can hear you walking back to your car ... "OK. That went well." I think he was having a good time with you. I've done that sort of thing with my goddaughters' (both of 'em) boyfriends. You know, "I'm Janie's godfather, you know. You and I are going to have a little talk." This after their dad did the same thing. It's a laugh riot. The tough part is keeping them out of sight of their girlfriend giggling in the kitchen.

 

[Munjibunga]

I'm a bit confused. Is the OP an adult or no? It sounds like things panned out well but if this relationship is between two consenting adults asking the dad first just seems backwards. I'm not saying not to talk to him at all but to me asking her first would have been the "better" move. Again, I'm happy for both of you seeing as things worked out just fine anyway.

It was a smart move, social mores notwithstanding. Having dad on your side has HUGE benefits. My daughter is 14, and I'm surely going to have to meet any boys she wants to date until she is 18. I know the OP and the girl are both over 18, but going to see dad was a very strong political move.

I would be thrilled if my daughter's pursuers came to see me even after she's 18, but I would handle it a little differently. I'd invite him in to have tea and crumpets and a little genteel conversation.

 

[MakiSupaStar]

Well if he says 'yes', and she says 'no', you might need to reconsider your potential life partner.

 

[LiquidMidnight]

I'd invite him in to have tea and crumpets and a little genteel conversation.

And chocolate moose. Ya can't forget chocolate moose when it comes to future son-in-laws.

 

[MJ5150]

Asking the father is showing very little respect to the girl, which is the only thing that count. You're not in it to shag daddy's pants.
Very very bad move to ask the father.

Well, I'm assuming the asker has asked the girl first if she would like to go steady with him and she said yes.

-Mike

 

[i_got_a_mohawk]

Has she asked your parents for their permission to see you yet?

Could be a deal breaker

 

[Jazz Ad]

Well, I'm assuming the asker has asked the girl first if she would like to go steady with him and she said yes.

-Mike

Then she can probably deal with the part involving her father.

 

[MJ5150]

Yes, she can. That isn't the issue with asking the father.

-Mike

 

[UncleFluffy]

surely Man Law 177 applies here?

 

[EricF]

surely Man Law 177 applies here?

Most definitely.

 

[Jazz Ad]

Yes, she can. That isn't the issue with asking the father.

-Mike

Of course it is. Nothing else is important in this discussion. I'm talking civil rights here, not old behaved good manners.
OP is meant to be a date, possibly a boyfriend, not a chaperon or bodyguard.
Women can take their own decisions. If they have to manage with the parental side, they can and should do it themselves.
Doing things any other way is bringing her down to a child status and taking possession of her at the same time.

You ask the authorization to borrow the daughter like you'd ask for a horse. It implies that the daughter is the property of her father. It used to be the case not very long ago. Women were an asset to the pater familias. Fortunately this was abolished.
That somebody may still consider doing so without thinking about what it implies is rather disturbing.

This may still be considered a good thing in Saudi Arabia or rural India. Doing so in a western country is bringing back memories that should have been long erased by 50 years of women fighting against male power.

 

[EricF]

Of course it is. Nothing else is important in this discussion. I'm talking civil rights here, not old behaved good manners.
OP is meant to be a date, possibly a boyfriend, not a chaperon or bodyguard.
Women can take their own decisions. If they have to manage with the parental side, they can and should do it themselves.
Doing things any other way is bringing her down to a child status and taking possession of her at the same time.

You ask the authorization to borrow the daughter like you'd ask for a horse. It implies that the daughter is the property of her father. It used to be the case not very long ago. Women were an asset to the pater familias. Fortunately this was abolished.
That somebody may still consider doing so without thinking about what it implies is rather disturbing.

This may still be considered a good thing in Saudi Arabia or rural India. Doing so in a western country is bringing back memories that should have been long erased by 50 years of women fighting against male power.

Meh. You're reading too much into this particular situation. It's not a "property" issue, it's a "I want my precious daughter to pick a decent guy" issue. He's just being a protective father. Is he maybe being a bit too protective? Maybe. Some parents have a tough time having their kids grow up into responsible adults. She is still living at his house, so the father-daughter dynamic is still in play.

Or...The girl's is making the OP sweat and jump through hoops because it amuses him.

 

[i_got_a_mohawk]

So if the OP still lives in his parents house, should the girl not have to OK it with them? Seeing there will still be mother-son and father-son dynamics in play.

 

[Jazz Ad]

You're reading too much into this particular situation.

I may be, or not. Devil's in the details.

So if the OP still lives in his parents house, should the girl not have to OK it with them? Seeing there will still be mother-son and father-son dynamics in play.

My point exactly. If it was to happen, people would say the boy's a sissy.

 

[MJ5150]

Of course it is. Nothing else is important in this discussion. I'm talking civil rights here, not old behaved good manners.
OP is meant to be a date, possibly a boyfriend, not a chaperon or bodyguard.
Women can take their own decisions. If they have to manage with the parental side, they can and should do it themselves.
Doing things any other way is bringing her down to a child status and taking possession of her at the same time.

You ask the authorization to borrow the daughter like you'd ask for a horse. It implies that the daughter is the property of her father. It used to be the case not very long ago. Women were an asset to the pater familias. Fortunately this was abolished.
That somebody may still consider doing so without thinking about what it implies is rather disturbing.

This may still be considered a good thing in Saudi Arabia or rural India. Doing so in a western country is bringing back memories that should have been long erased by 50 years of women fighting against male power.

Where are you getting the impression he asked if he could take the girl out one night?

-Mike

 

[Jazz Ad]

I don't understand your question.
OP states in his very first post that he plans to date the girl and wants to ask the father before. I don't imply anything else.

 

[rr5025]

 

[Jazz Ad]

 

[nutdog]

It is possible that the female in question has a good relationship with her father. It is even possible the young lady respects her father's experience and judgement. They may have even discussed the various difficulties and hazards associated with dating and the preponderance of, shall we say, undesirable and unqualified potential suitors and mutually agreed to this arrangement as a way of filtering them out.

 

[afzoomie67]

Please tell me you are not a parent

He used to be a father, than he took a basstotheface.