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Asking the father
- Thread starter Mr L
- Start date
On a more serious note, I'm not going to condescend or criticize anyone for their viewpoints. This is obviously a culturally loaded issue, and what is common in Sweden will be different from the US, France or Afghanistan.
I have two children; a boy of 13 and a daughter of 12 (today's her birthday and she's in bed with a fever). My goal in raising them both is to have them become informed, responsible individuals who are able and willing to make their own decisions in life.
I expect them to at some point introduce me to their partners when the time comes, and obviously there will probably be an element of seeking approval in that. But I'm certainly not going to try to intimidate them. How they treat my children should be based on their own respect for them, not on their fear of me.
In Sweeden such a meeting would surely take place in a Sauna wearing only the birthday suit
(or so my friend who live in Stockholm would lead me to believe
)
In Sweeden such a meeting would surely take place in a Sauna wearing only the birthday suit
(or so my friend who live in Stockholm would lead me to believe
I wouldn't rule that out. I think we could fit about 20 suitors in the sauna, and he who endures the longest gets the date.
But that's because my wife hails from Finland, where the true Sauna fiends are.
So update, after only a week and a half I got.... Friend zoned.
Was a pretty big surprise actually.
Took her out a few times, she came to a gig on Friday. I had a ton of fun with her, thought she did too. Then today i picked her up to take her out and she gives me the "You're a great guy but I don't think I'm ready for a relationship right now, can we just be friends?"
Boom, sack of bricks.
Moral of the story: Bassist's and nice guys don't get the girl.
I'm down but not out. Always other fish in the sea as they say.
Was a pretty big surprise actually.
Took her out a few times, she came to a gig on Friday. I had a ton of fun with her, thought she did too. Then today i picked her up to take her out and she gives me the "You're a great guy but I don't think I'm ready for a relationship right now, can we just be friends?"
Boom, sack of bricks.
Moral of the story: Bassist's and nice guys don't get the girl.
I'm down but not out. Always other fish in the sea as they say.
Shame it didn't work out but keep saying stuff this:
...and it might actually become true. Some relationships work, others don't. You can't always help the outcome of the latter but you can help your outlook on the situation and future ones.
Sorry, not trying to preach or anything but the whole "nice guys finish last" and "friendzone" concepts tend to bug me. Even more so when it comes from cool people.
...and it might actually become true. Some relationships work, others don't. You can't always help the outcome of the latter but you can help your outlook on the situation and future ones.
Sorry, not trying to preach or anything but the whole "nice guys finish last" and "friendzone" concepts tend to bug me. Even more so when it comes from cool people.
Was really just pretty frustrated, cooled down a lot in the past hour. I posted that in a bit of a haste. I am not worried or upset anymore, totally cool with it actually. I don't know if that's a good reaction to have so quickly but it was only just over a week.
Lots of other opportunities will come!
Lots of other opportunities will come!
How is that the hard part? Following the words of Tony Soprano there, its the same deal.
Those are just natural tendencies for me, I couldnt help them if I tried.
It certainly helps score points with the girls I go out with.
+1
It seems to no longer be as common a trait, but it runs in my family.
Seems women have picked up on this...
The OP already asked the girl out, and she said yes but was concerned her protective father may not approve.
At 18 years old, it seems like it was a good move on our OPs part to get in good with Dad.
I would say no. It doesnt seem like the father insisted on meeting the kid before his daughter date him.
Seems to me the girl expressed concern that her father may have a hard time with his daughter dating someone, and the OP took it upon himself to ease the tension by meeting Dad.
Ok, so next time maybe date the girl a while before meeting Dad.
And that just aint true. Im a bassist and a nice guy. These days, I always get the girl.
Its only been a couples weeks, right? Its a perfectly acceptable reaction. According to HIMYM, it takes half as long as youve been going out to get over someone.
It was just a couple of dates, not much lost. Yet another experience of which there will be many more comin' down the pike. Keep on chooglin'.
Also spoken in the words of Don Henley (Or Glen Frey? I think it's Glen Frey)
Half the distance takes you twice as long
Well I was skeptical when you went into this, but to each his own. My red flag is an over-bearing father that tends to belittle a person and scare the crap out of you. While, it is a sign of respect to ask the father for permission, you're ultimately aren't obligated. I never wanted to meet the parents until we were further along in the dating process. Now asking the father in regards to marriage is a completely different story. However, my philosophy is that you're not dating the father, your dating the girl/guy. If a chick has a crazy, overbearing dad that insists you go through him first, then I'm going to be weary of the chick too (she was raised by that guy remember).
Now that you've gotten that out of the way, my advice to you, my young friend, is quantity over quality. Tap everything that will let you. Don't be a dick to girls, but be open and honest. Eventually the girl you want will emerge and you just won't want to tap other chicks. Monogamy doesn't have to feel like an obligation. It only matters when you're married, so until you're married don't pretend like you are. Always wear a jimmy. Go forth and conquer.
Now that you've gotten that out of the way, my advice to you, my young friend, is quantity over quality. Tap everything that will let you. Don't be a dick to girls, but be open and honest. Eventually the girl you want will emerge and you just won't want to tap other chicks. Monogamy doesn't have to feel like an obligation. It only matters when you're married, so until you're married don't pretend like you are. Always wear a jimmy. Go forth and conquer.
- Dec 21, 2007
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maybe, because you're both they cancel each other out?
I thought Mr L was implying that he, too, was both.
Spoken like someone who sleeps in a buddy chick's bed as a friend without anything happening.
Spoken like someone who sleeps in a buddy chick's bed as a friend without anything happening.
SICK BURN
Spoken like someone who sleeps in a buddy chick's bed as a friend without anything happening.
You know, I should've seen this coming
.
