• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Audition Red Flag Time Again

#142
My list is pretty hard to argue with:

1. When you get there, they ask you to put on a black silk robe, and cut yourself, telling you, "we rock for SATAN."
2. The ad says, "clothing optional."
3. They are powering their amps with a small, nuclear reactor they have built out of TV sets and microwaves they found in a junkyard.
4. The bandleader says, "this is my wife on keys," and then says, "and this is my girlfriend, on pedal steel."
5. Any of the band members are Gibbons. I NEVER play with Gibbons.
6. The practice space is at the STATE PENITENTIARY.
7. They ask if you can supply your own weapons.
8. They tell you, "we don't go for no fancy tunin', or playin' in time roundsabout here. We just feels the music, and then we GOES!!!"
9. The band leader is Adolph Hitler. I refuse to play with Adolph Hitler.
10. The practice space is wired with plastic explosives. I refuse to play in a practice space that is wired with plastic explosives.
 
#143
tbirdsp said:
Check out this recent craigslist ad. Pretty sure it was a joke;)

"I want to make some M****F****N MONEY"

"Looking for Lead or Rhythm Guitarist spot in a working cover band so I can try to recoup at least some of the money I've wasted on music equipment over the years. I've got the right look, and ALL the right gear so let's get this going.

Being that it's for a cover band, I'm really hoping to not have to practice with you at all. After all these years of dealing with self-loathing, ego-maniac, flaky, ass-wad, big talk-little dick choad-monkeys; I'd really prefer not to have to deal with anyone in the band in any way. Other than playing shows and getting paid that is!

I can play any style of music you want, as long as it isn't from the last say, 10 to 15 years (it's all crap). Pretty much from Nirvana back to Seger. On that note (music humor) I'd prefer to have the band be all dudes. Any chicks in the band always just end up getting me in trouble! HAHA

As you can see I'm a pretty solid dude. The only thing you may have to work with me is on scheduling a bit. I don't do weekday gigs (waste of time), and I don't like working every weekend. Gotta get out on the Harley or the golf course and have a beer or two to clear the head every once in a while, right? Either that or f**king little league practice that I have to take the step kids to.

In your email please send a photo of the band, up coming gig schedule, previous gig schedule, and what my cut of the pay will be. Once I've sifted through all the applicants I'll decide where it is I wanna be. If you don't get a response from me, that's the breaks!

Shred you later!"
Click to expand...

Actually, I ended up hiring this guy. He's really good!
 
#147
I was asked recently to come to a bands gig and "sit in" and jam on a couple tunes in between sets as an audition to replace the current bass player........Major Red Flag!!!!!! I did not go to the gig nor would I ever be involved with people like that. And not to mention he soon to be fired bass player would be playing that night. They also said I could just use his bass.......lol
 
#148
For some reason, I keep getting drawn to this one CL ad like a moth to a flame, but can't/won't bring myself to reply.

In their ad, they state that they don't want to gig that much, maybe less than once a month .. which actually would work for me. (The BL of my current band would love to gig every weekend if he could, which is an area of contention for most of the others in the band.) They are very local, both in where they rehearse and where it seems most of their infrequent gigs are. From the song list they posted, I could get on board with what they play.

Now the red flags - (1) the "bassist wanted" ad they recently posted is about the 3rd one in the last 6-9 months or so. (2) despite not gigging too much - in the ad they say it may only be 5-6x a year - they also put in there that they only want someone committed to their band, not multiple bands. The last time they were looking, someone posted as to why would anyone want to be excluded from joining other bands if this band wasn't gigging much. And, (3), they say they want a bassist in the style of a particular bassist, but then spell his name wrong. Even after that was pointed out to them in the same CL reply as in #2 above, they still continue to misspell the name. :rollno:
 
#150
Drunk Heffalump said:
^ I've said it before I'll say it again, Craigslist is flypaper for freaks..........^

:D
Click to expand...

Again ... +1000

In one of my bands I have sorted thru 20 nutters who apparently didn't even read the add for a COUNTRY bassist: we got metal bassists, some said they hated country, one said he would have to run the setlist thru his manager, another who said he could only audition if his wife played and sang with us, lotsa crap like that. We found three guys we thought were a possibility and two actually showed. One 50+ year old showed up with a mohawk, kept turning up till he drown out everyone else, played whatever he wanted without regard for what the basslines on the cover songs were, and kept acting like he was in already telling me "You're not taking MY spot!" when I played his bass for a few minutes after practice. The second one showed up with equipment he said wasn't his but was supplied by his booking agent in Nashville (it was cheaper stuff), and kept going on and on about the famous musician he played with once and how he had travelled all over the US doing fill-ins (but he was going to audition for a little cover band in the middle of nowhere?). He played with us once, was invited back the next practice and said "Yeah, definitely." and hasn't been heard from since.

I'm so sick of CL. But there aren't any other options around here. :(
 
#151
Phlipper said:
Again ... +1000

In one of my bands I have sorted thru 20 nutters who apparently didn't even read the add for a COUNTRY bassist: we got metal bassists, some said they hated country, one said he would have to run the setlist thru his manager, another who said he could only audition if his wife played and sang with us, lotsa crap like that. We found three guys we thought were a possibility and two actually showed. One 50+ year old showed up with a mohawk, kept turning up till he drown out everyone else, played whatever he wanted without regard for what the basslines on the cover songs were, and kept acting like he was in already telling me "You're not taking MY spot!" when I played his bass for a few minutes after practice. The second one showed up with equipment he said wasn't his but was supplied by his booking agent in Nashville (it was cheaper stuff), and kept going on and on about the famous musician he played with once and how he had travelled all over the US doing fill-ins (but he was going to audition for a little cover band in the middle of nowhere?). He played with us once, was invited back the next practice and said "Yeah, definitely." and hasn't been heard from since.

I'm so sick of CL. But there aren't any other options around here. :(
Click to expand...

We got our singer through Bandmix. Great guy and a good catch.
 
#152
When they want 100% commitment to them and they aren't gigging or they are still in the garage band stage. One of the first things I ask when I get a request for an audition is do you have upcoming gigs on the books? Another flag is one of the other band members doesn't have transportation and they ask if you can give him a ride. The worst flag is one of the band members has a wife that demands to sing or have a say so in the band.
 
#153
hsech said:
When they want 100% commitment to them and they aren't gigging or they are still in the garage band stage. One of the first things I ask when I get a request for an audition is do you have upcoming gigs on the books? Another flag is one of the other band members doesn't have transportation and they ask if you can give him a ride. The worst flag is one of the band members has a wife that demands to sing or have a say so in the band.
Click to expand...

This comes up quite often.

If your looking for a band that is actively doing paid gigs you have to confirm it.

Just because a band says they have gigs doesn't mean they do.

How many time have we seen this;

"They said they had gigs"

Blue
 
#154
How about when it seems like the band is looking for an entire band:

"Established band looking for guitar, bass, rhythm guitar, drums, singer, keyboard, bandleader, gear, truck, and rehearsal space. Serious inquiries only. Must have transportation and pro gear."
 
#158
A lot of good suggestions. A big point is knowing what you really want when you're looking for a band. My flags are heavy drug or alcohol use at practice or during gigs. A beer between sets is one thing. A six pack before you get started is another thing altogether. I'm very leery of wives/S.O.s as bandmates or managers, although I know a couple of bands that it works out well for them. Wife/S.O. always hanging around practice, unless practice is at their house.

A lot of the red flags mentioned depend on circumstance. I play blues. I have gone into auditions that were let's jam awhile and see what happens, which works for blues better then a lot of other genre'. I've gone to startups where there were no playing examples. You should be able to tell if everybody is at your level or better. Be careful if they immediately offer you the gig, unless you feel really connected with the band. Sitting on the decision for 24 hours is not a bad thing.

Trust your instincts. If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.
 
#159
butchblack said:
A lot of good suggestions. A big point is knowing what you really want when you're looking for a band. My flags are heavy drug or alcohol use at practice or during gigs. A beer between sets is one thing. A six pack before you get started is another thing altogether. I'm very leery of wives/S.O.s as bandmates or managers, although I know a couple of bands that it works out well for them. Wife/S.O. always hanging around practice, unless practice is at their house.

A lot of the red flags mentioned depend on circumstance. I play blues. I have gone into auditions that were let's jam awhile and see what happens, which works for blues better then a lot of other genre'. I've gone to startups where there were no playing examples. You should be able to tell if everybody is at your level or better. Be careful if they immediately offer you the gig, unless you feel really connected with the band. Sitting on the decision for 24 hours is not a bad thing.

Trust your instincts. If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.
Click to expand...

Being offered the gig on the spot at the audition is one of those overlooked "Red Flags".

Normally , no established working cover band is going to offer the gig on the spot to anyone. You normally see this with some originlas bands and start ups. In those cases, while they have offered you the job, they have also offered you nothing.

blue
 
#160
If I'm a better singer, guitarist or drummer than the ones in the band, that's a red flag, especially since I'm only a decent singer, and rhythm guitarist and have pretty basic drum skills.

If the band leader says, my son is going to rap on a few of these songs, (mustang Sally, miss you, take me to the river...)

They say, we don't play the bridge, we do it our own way ( because the bridge requires learning more than 3 chords )

Every 30 minutes they want to take 5, ( which always ends up being 30 minutes )

Nobody looks you in the eyes.

The band has a lot of songs that are covers of covers... ( knocking on heavens door, boys of summer, ring of fire...) blues songs are generally the exception, but still raise an eyebrow.

The drummer has to ask the tempo before starting every song.
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back