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Band Audition Nightmares
- Thread starter 88ric2030
- Start date
We tried to get a 2nd guitar player for our band. One guy came in and we asked him his age, gear, years playing ect. All was great good age. Played for a long time. He had killer gear all american made Fender stuff and a few cool amps. So we asked him to play us some tunes which he did, and thats where it fell apart. It's really bad when the bass player has to show a guitarist how to play bar cords, and explain to him what a power cord is. I mean dude your trying out for a rock band you have to know how to play power cords at least!
I guess my only really weird one was for this little 4 piece bubble-grunge band. I found it in CL while looking for random sub gigs, and talked with them a bit. They were fairly decent guys and OK musicians. The drummer was quite good but the guitarists and the music on the whole was really uninspiring. So I do the audition, learn a few more of their songs in a matter of minutes. At several points I just guessed where their songs were headed on the fly and wound up nailing a lot of changes to songs I've never heard on the first time through. They were shocked, but it's really just that the songs went to really predictable places. :/ I brought my pedalboard as usual and they were fascinated by a bassist that uses effects... but that's another issue.
Then comes the show- it was kind of a disaster- they missed chunks of their songs, forgot words, even the drummer who was really good in rehearsal got way off more than a few times. I was quite embarrassed to have been on stage for that debacle. Of course, they all thought it went amazing. At this point, I'm really not feeling it, so I find some excuse to bow out. I forget how I worded it, but man was I relieved to be done with that.
A different one was just an audition for a heavy rock band, which was like an hour south of me (in MN). I talked with them for a while, learned the material and went down to the drummer's house for an audition. They had all sorts of cool recording equipment, nice gear and seemed like pleasant enough guys, but there was one thing that was really strange about playing music with them. They made NO eye contact with anyone else. Ever. It was like 3 people doing simultaneous solo projects that just happened to line up. I was kinda creeped out by the whole thing. I think it wound up taking them like 2 years to get a bass player.
Then comes the show- it was kind of a disaster- they missed chunks of their songs, forgot words, even the drummer who was really good in rehearsal got way off more than a few times. I was quite embarrassed to have been on stage for that debacle. Of course, they all thought it went amazing. At this point, I'm really not feeling it, so I find some excuse to bow out. I forget how I worded it, but man was I relieved to be done with that.
A different one was just an audition for a heavy rock band, which was like an hour south of me (in MN). I talked with them for a while, learned the material and went down to the drummer's house for an audition. They had all sorts of cool recording equipment, nice gear and seemed like pleasant enough guys, but there was one thing that was really strange about playing music with them. They made NO eye contact with anyone else. Ever. It was like 3 people doing simultaneous solo projects that just happened to line up. I was kinda creeped out by the whole thing. I think it wound up taking them like 2 years to get a bass player.
I had a fun experience about 4 - 5 years ago. I was attending a music school in California at the time. A well known metal guitar player ( who and his bands/band members shall not be named ) would come in and hang out after seeing my band play. Long story short, he was making a new band that was going to be signed to RoadRunner Records and wanted me to audition for bass. I have met the other guys in the band, all nice guys, music was good so I said sure. I showed up to the audition with the required material down perfect. I sit down in the room with the guys, start plugging in and talking about metal bands when the singer leaves the room for a "quick break". 10 minutes goes by and I'm sitting here with the guitar player and one of my all time favorite death metal drummers, waiting for the singer to come back so I can audition. Finally, the guitar player says f**k it and leaves, tells me to hang out with the drummer while he gets the singer back. ( The singer said that he didn't want to jam with me so he could get lunch with another bass player who he was trying to get into the band).
After another 20 minutes, the guitarist and singer return into the room, the singer looked especially pissed off at me. We jam out the audition song and I nailed it. They asked me to play along to one of their songs that they wrote and I haven't heard and nailed it to. To sum it up, I blew everyone out of the water. I was told I got the gig and to get ready for some practices and touring soon.
3 months goes by and I watch this guitarist get more and more shaddy. He ended up doing a performance with the band, without me, with the bass player the singer was trying to get into the band. I brought it up with the guitarist later on and he said that it is nothing to worry about because I still have the gig. Another month goes by and I'm told by the guitar players girlfriend that I need to contact him so can prepare for a upcoming tour. I call him up and he pretends he doesn't know me and hangs up. I get a call that night from another signed metal band, saying that the guitar player recommended me for this other group who never played shows or practiced.
Not long after that, I read on blabbermouth.net that the band I auditioned for and got the gig for had recruited another bass player. I was never told anything by the band itself... I actually ran into the guitarist months later at NAMM and he acted like nothing ever happened. Sorry for the long story.
After another 20 minutes, the guitarist and singer return into the room, the singer looked especially pissed off at me. We jam out the audition song and I nailed it. They asked me to play along to one of their songs that they wrote and I haven't heard and nailed it to. To sum it up, I blew everyone out of the water. I was told I got the gig and to get ready for some practices and touring soon.
3 months goes by and I watch this guitarist get more and more shaddy. He ended up doing a performance with the band, without me, with the bass player the singer was trying to get into the band. I brought it up with the guitarist later on and he said that it is nothing to worry about because I still have the gig. Another month goes by and I'm told by the guitar players girlfriend that I need to contact him so can prepare for a upcoming tour. I call him up and he pretends he doesn't know me and hangs up. I get a call that night from another signed metal band, saying that the guitar player recommended me for this other group who never played shows or practiced.
Not long after that, I read on blabbermouth.net that the band I auditioned for and got the gig for had recruited another bass player. I was never told anything by the band itself... I actually ran into the guitarist months later at NAMM and he acted like nothing ever happened. Sorry for the long story.
This happened in a classic rock band I was in a few years ago.
We were auditioning guitarists and had two scheduled to come out.
Before we had the first one come out we all practiced for about an hour. The drummer said the guy coming out (We will call him Ed) Will be here at 6pm.
6:00-pm comes no Ed. Band keeps jamming.
6:20 pm-No Ed, drummer call's Ed's cell phone. Ed says he is almost there about 5 minutes away..cool! Drummer say's to Ed "you know where your going right? Ed say's..Oh Yeah..be there is an few.
6:45 No Ed
Drummer calls Ed's cell again. Ed says "I think I passed your street". Drummer asks "I thought you knew where you were going? Ed say's "Opps"? Drummers asks where he is and finds out he is only a few streets past the street were are on. Drummer say's no biggy turn around and I will talk you to my street by phone. He talks Ed to the street and last thing we hear is the Drummer saying "Ok you see my street sign"? Ed says "Yes", Drummer: Ok cool! We are at the 4th house on the right, Ed: Great! be there in a second. Drummer hangs up and walks out front to meet ...Ed.
7pm Drummer returns no ED! Ed never came, we never seen an Ed and drummer never called ED back...true story.
We were auditioning guitarists and had two scheduled to come out.
Before we had the first one come out we all practiced for about an hour. The drummer said the guy coming out (We will call him Ed) Will be here at 6pm.
6:00-pm comes no Ed. Band keeps jamming.
6:20 pm-No Ed, drummer call's Ed's cell phone. Ed says he is almost there about 5 minutes away..cool! Drummer say's to Ed "you know where your going right? Ed say's..Oh Yeah..be there is an few.
6:45 No Ed
Drummer calls Ed's cell again. Ed says "I think I passed your street". Drummer asks "I thought you knew where you were going? Ed say's "Opps"? Drummers asks where he is and finds out he is only a few streets past the street were are on. Drummer say's no biggy turn around and I will talk you to my street by phone. He talks Ed to the street and last thing we hear is the Drummer saying "Ok you see my street sign"? Ed says "Yes", Drummer: Ok cool! We are at the 4th house on the right, Ed: Great! be there in a second. Drummer hangs up and walks out front to meet ...Ed.
7pm Drummer returns no ED! Ed never came, we never seen an Ed and drummer never called ED back...true story.
We line up an audition this past Monday for a dude, in his 20's, who says he likes our set list and can sing most of it. We let him choose 3 songs, with a week 1/2 to learn. He arrives a bit late..not a big deal, after some small talk he asks for pen and paper to write down the lyrics off his phone, form some website! Hmmm. We start, he sounds bad , but we did consider possible nervousness so we were all patient, we started over and over again and it got worse and worse. I felt humiliated for the dude. It was like an American Idol dropout, under a delusion that they could sing! So, he never even tried to learn the material, not even a bad singer, but NO singer...at all, then knowing our focus is originals, (he knew that cuz thats what attracted him to the ad he says) starts to suggest covers we should learn cuz he thinks thier cool! he was a nice enuff kid 20's, we were sensitive about it, I think he realized he wasnt in "his car"....where we all sound good,lol, so we gave him the we'll call ya', which we did and said no! He was sorry for screwing it up and asked for another shot once he learned the songs better. It will never come to that!
Oh, I forgot. We have another audition Monday and another dude on Wed. I sure hope something comes out of it and I have something positive to write. I miss gigging, I hope this doesnt go on forever. It sucks!
OK...continuing the saga. Last night we had an audition for a singer, who requested 8pm...I have work at 11p, but no problem. So, I load my gear into my truck, fuel up, drive 21 miles to our HQ dressed in the scrubs I wear for work, since I figure I'll be going right to work from there, like I do any rehearsal night. Arrive at 716pm, open the place, jam by myself for an hour til the lead guitar and drummer show up....jam ourselves for 1/2 hour or so, still no singer. We text him 3 times thinking maybe he needs directions...confirm that hes still coming etc. , never replies to us. At 930 hes a no show / no call, and Im friggin' pissed! Another CL nightmare. I really, really hope I dont have to do this 20 more times til we find a replacement. (Sigh.)...the search goes on..............
Weirdest audition I saw was for a buddy's band, looking for a bassist.
The music was quite simple grunge, chorus verse chorus...
The guy sets up his stuff, and my buddy (singer/rythm) shows him the song - 3 chord verse, 4 chord chorus, dead simple.
The guy starts stamping his right heel on the ground to keep time, starts to pant and sweat. Really stamping so hard that I feared for the bones in his leg. Nothing else is moving though, the rest of his body is totally stiff. Then he tries to put a funkish line on top of that simple pop, tries really complicated licks and phrases, but doesn't keep up with the song at all, and despite his stomping, there was no related time to be sensed at all. He would have been in if he had just rocked some roots hard...
Weird thing is, I know that guy took lessions with a really good teacher for years, yet his playing was so extremely unmusical - it was bizarre.
The music was quite simple grunge, chorus verse chorus...
The guy sets up his stuff, and my buddy (singer/rythm) shows him the song - 3 chord verse, 4 chord chorus, dead simple.
The guy starts stamping his right heel on the ground to keep time, starts to pant and sweat. Really stamping so hard that I feared for the bones in his leg. Nothing else is moving though, the rest of his body is totally stiff. Then he tries to put a funkish line on top of that simple pop, tries really complicated licks and phrases, but doesn't keep up with the song at all, and despite his stomping, there was no related time to be sensed at all. He would have been in if he had just rocked some roots hard...
Weird thing is, I know that guy took lessions with a really good teacher for years, yet his playing was so extremely unmusical - it was bizarre.
I am currently without a band and hating it. This thread makes me reconsider and start to feel glad I'm a loner loser.
Maybe it's being older or maybe it's having been in the same town for 20+ years, but I haven't had an audition in a LONG time. Word of mouth usually gets person A to band B. Networking is so much more effective than auditions, but I do remember that my first five years here were pretty tough, even though I worked for Coda Music Software (Finale notation software).
Ever have a butch-looking lesbian singer threaten you to immediately decide if she's "in" or not?
She..uh....didn't get the slot.
She..uh....didn't get the slot.
Recently auditioned a lead guitarist that wanted to do everything EXCEPT play lead guitar. He wanted to sit at the drum kit and play a few songs on the bass. When it came time to do some lead he pretty much just strummed along, much like the rhythm guitarist. Bizarre.
Played a straight ahead jazz gig once with a guitarist whose solos were just about non-solos, mostly just loose chord strumming. It blows me away sometimes how guys get gigs. THEN I see this guy show up in a Top 40 Funk/Horn band.... some good players in that band. Can it be that some guys are just good a BS-ing their into situations?
I've had so many awful people come down and audition for various bands over the years that I can't even remember all the horror stories!
One that always stays with me is auditioning a singer. Long story short he came down and no joke, did not sing ONE WORD the entire time. We kept saying stuff like, don't worry just jump in, who cares what you say. It did nothing, literally didn't sing anything.
I also remember when I was playing guitar in a band and trying to find a bass player we had a guy come down. He was pretty cool and wasn't a bad player. So we show him the tunes and decide on rehearsing in a week. Sure enough a week comes, he comes back and doesn't know anything. We say, just jam along then. Barely even plays. It had been a long search so we tried to make him work. Same deal, we'll rehearse next week again. Next week comes and he STILL doesn't know a single note of the tunes. WHY THE HELL BOTHER COMING THEN?? I shall never know!
One that always stays with me is auditioning a singer. Long story short he came down and no joke, did not sing ONE WORD the entire time. We kept saying stuff like, don't worry just jump in, who cares what you say. It did nothing, literally didn't sing anything.
I also remember when I was playing guitar in a band and trying to find a bass player we had a guy come down. He was pretty cool and wasn't a bad player. So we show him the tunes and decide on rehearsing in a week. Sure enough a week comes, he comes back and doesn't know anything. We say, just jam along then. Barely even plays. It had been a long search so we tried to make him work. Same deal, we'll rehearse next week again. Next week comes and he STILL doesn't know a single note of the tunes. WHY THE HELL BOTHER COMING THEN?? I shall never know!
Here's what I'll refer to as a reverse audition disaster story, meaning I was the one who screwed it all up and probably came across as unprofessional... yet, luckily it wound up not being the train wreck it should have been and had a happy ending...
I'm starting a second band, sort of a side project to my main one... and I'll be the first to tell you, I don't want to be a band leader, I'd probably really suck at it, but auditioning people and whatnot I kind of have to be, at least for the moment.
So I'm on my way to audition what's supposed to be 3 guitarists... I gave them times to show up so I'd have a half an hour with each player. It was supposed to be me and my drummer.
On the way to the rehearsal studio, my drummer calls me, telling me he's sick as hell and won't be able to come. He plays drums in my other band, and I know him to be extremely reliable and trustworthy (yeah, I know, a reliable drummer... weird) so I see no reason not believe him... but now it's just going to be me and these guitarists... and truth be told, I was sick as hell too (something's been going around by me). I decide to pick-up some drum sticks along the way... I'm not a great drummer, but I can lay down a decent groove, so I figure I can see how they play to bass as well as drums... it's a funky band, so groove is key.
The first guitarist shows up on time and starts setting up. We get to talking, and I instantly like him. He's a loudmouth opinionated kind of guy, yet manages not to be a pretentious d*ck (hard to do)... plus he seems to really know his music. We start jamming, and his chops are great, his phrasing is tasteful, unique and interesting.
The second guitarist shows up 10 minutes later... early... normally a good thing, but not in this situation. I think to myself, "self, why make him sit around, have him just come in and jam with us"... so I do... and quickly realize this makes for an awkward scenario... now I've got two guys competing for the same spot, playing with each other, with only bass and guitars... I could see this one blowing up in my face quick.
Luckily, everyone was civil and cool about it. Since I had sticks, both guitarists took turns playing drums so I could just jam out with the other one. We all talked and got along. The second guitarist was good too, but a bit cliché and not exactly what I was looking for, but still, a good player. The third guitarist was a no show.
After this fiasco, the second guitarist had to go, so the first one and I went and grabbed a drink, had some good conversation and I offered him the gig and he accepted... surprising to me since I thought played so poorly, being sick as hell, and figured I had shown myself as someone that didn't know what he was doing, which I didn't lol... but apparently he liked it.
So yeah... I screwed up that one. That's why I usually respond to ads, not post them lol.
I'm starting a second band, sort of a side project to my main one... and I'll be the first to tell you, I don't want to be a band leader, I'd probably really suck at it, but auditioning people and whatnot I kind of have to be, at least for the moment.
So I'm on my way to audition what's supposed to be 3 guitarists... I gave them times to show up so I'd have a half an hour with each player. It was supposed to be me and my drummer.
On the way to the rehearsal studio, my drummer calls me, telling me he's sick as hell and won't be able to come. He plays drums in my other band, and I know him to be extremely reliable and trustworthy (yeah, I know, a reliable drummer... weird) so I see no reason not believe him... but now it's just going to be me and these guitarists... and truth be told, I was sick as hell too (something's been going around by me). I decide to pick-up some drum sticks along the way... I'm not a great drummer, but I can lay down a decent groove, so I figure I can see how they play to bass as well as drums... it's a funky band, so groove is key.
The first guitarist shows up on time and starts setting up. We get to talking, and I instantly like him. He's a loudmouth opinionated kind of guy, yet manages not to be a pretentious d*ck (hard to do)... plus he seems to really know his music. We start jamming, and his chops are great, his phrasing is tasteful, unique and interesting.
The second guitarist shows up 10 minutes later... early... normally a good thing, but not in this situation. I think to myself, "self, why make him sit around, have him just come in and jam with us"... so I do... and quickly realize this makes for an awkward scenario... now I've got two guys competing for the same spot, playing with each other, with only bass and guitars... I could see this one blowing up in my face quick.
Luckily, everyone was civil and cool about it. Since I had sticks, both guitarists took turns playing drums so I could just jam out with the other one. We all talked and got along. The second guitarist was good too, but a bit cliché and not exactly what I was looking for, but still, a good player. The third guitarist was a no show.
After this fiasco, the second guitarist had to go, so the first one and I went and grabbed a drink, had some good conversation and I offered him the gig and he accepted... surprising to me since I thought played so poorly, being sick as hell, and figured I had shown myself as someone that didn't know what he was doing, which I didn't lol... but apparently he liked it.
So yeah... I screwed up that one. That's why I usually respond to ads, not post them lol.
I just did an audition for a side project "old guy" classic rock band advertising on Craigslist. Nice folks and good players. Their leader gives me a list of 15 songs in an e-mail to concentrate on a week before the audition. Mostly CCR, Stones and Tom Petty stuff. I cram 15 songs in a week and show up. So I get set up and the first thing the guitard want to do is wing it and play a bunch of other songs he thinks would be cool for the group to play. The others don't know these songs either but he shouts out the basic chord changes iin rapid fire mode like "verse E/D/B/A chorus A/D/C bridge E/D/G/F#/F and also do this turn around and play a rhythm like this (chinga chang chinga chingy chinga on guitar)." We muddle through a few of these oddball songs choices of "B" material. Finally I ask for a print out of the lyric sheet chord charts and things go much better. We barely played most of the cram material. The real interesting thing is that the guitard kept mentioning they have a real hottie for a lead singer. The good news is that the singer is an ex-Penthouse Pet. The bad news is that she was a Penthouse pet in the early 1970's and is in her 60's now and well past her hottie prime even in darkly lit dive bars. It will be interesting to see if I get a call back for a second jam.
