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Band Audition Nightmares

#102
I just did an audition for a side project "old guy" classic rock band advertising on Craigslist. Nice folks and good players. Their leader gives me a list of 15 songs in an e-mail to concentrate on a week before the audition. Mostly CCR, Stones and Tom Petty stuff. I cram 15 songs in a week and show up. So I get set up and the first thing the guitard want to do is wing it and play a bunch of other songs he thinks would be cool for the group to play. The others don't know these songs either but he shouts out the basic chord changes iin rapid fire mode like "verse E/D/B/A chorus A/D/C bridge E/D/G/F#/F and also do this turn around and play a rhythm like this (chinga chang chinga chingy chinga on guitar)." We muddle through a few of these oddball songs choices of "B" material. Finally I ask for a print out of the lyric sheet chord charts and things go much better. We barely played most of the cram material. The real interesting thing is that the guitard kept mentioning they have a real hottie for a lead singer. The good news is that the singer is an ex-Penthouse Pet. The bad news is that she was a Penthouse Pet in the early 1970's and is in her 60's now and well past her hottie prime even in darkly lit dive bars. It will be interesting to see if I get a call back for a second jam.
 
#105
i once auditoned for a band that called themselves experimental, so i figured hey why not, i get there and they seem cool enough, i set up my amp and take my bass out of the case and the drummer goes "oh you play a four? i was hoping you had a real bass" laughed it off and asked them what the tune in, i get the reply "C Bb C G E G"(insert eyebrow raise here) i tune accordingly and we proceed to play a couple of their songs, the drummer is everywhere rushing the beat and slowing it down is everywhere but a set tempo the fills are cluttered and i can go on and on, both guitarists are fumbling through their own changes it sounds like a mess, we go out for a smoke break and talk music where they explain to me how often they practice "twice a month" not to bad but the conversation shifts to personal practice where they each say they only pick up their instruments when they have band practice because to quote the drummer "when youre as good as us you dont need to pratice" as luck would have it a friend of mine called me with a "yo man have you heard metalllica's new album?" to which i reply "OH SH*T ARE YOU SERIOUS? ITS OK BRO Ill BE RIGHT THERE!!!!!" and procede to pack up my stuff in record time and bail, a month later i get a voicemail from their singer telling me they found a bass player but not to let it bother me because "with some more practice you could be really good some day" i shudder to think of what they define as good
 
#106
frankenjazz said:
i once auditoned for a band that called themselves experimental, so i figured hey why not, i get there and they seem cool enough, i set up my amp and take my bass out of the case and the drummer goes "oh you play a four? i was hoping you had a real bass" laughed it off and asked them what the tune in, i get the reply "C Bb C G E G"(insert eyebrow raise here) i tune accordingly and we proceed to play a couple of their songs, the drummer is everywhere rushing the beat and slowing it down is everywhere but a set tempo the fills are cluttered and i can go on and on, both guitarists are fumbling through their own changes it sounds like a mess, we go out for a smoke break and talk music where they explain to me how often they practice "twice a month" not to bad but the conversation shifts to personal practice where they each say they only pick up their instruments when they have band practice because to quote the drummer "when youre as good as us you dont need to pratice" as luck would have it a friend of mine called me with a "yo man have you heard metalllica's new album?" to which i reply "OH SH*T ARE YOU SERIOUS? ITS OK BRO Ill BE RIGHT THERE!!!!!" and procede to pack up my stuff in record time and bail, a month later i get a voicemail from their singer telling me they found a bass player but not to let it bother me because "with some more practice you could be really good some day" i shudder to think of what they define as good
Click to expand...

Experimental? Are you sure they didn't say excremental.

 
#108
Got called recently and invited to come try out for a blues band. The guy sent me a set list from their last show and a rather lengthy blurb about how they'd been together for 8 years but have never had a full time bass player and just relied on subs. Looking over the set list, the idea of only using subs seemed real enough since it was all pretty straight forward blues stuff.

Anywho, I go to the audition and this band which has been together for 8 years can't start or stop a song without a conference on who's supposed to do the intro, how do we go out, who gets what lead break, when the harp is supposed to solo, etc, etc. To call it a complete clusterf**k would be an insult to clusterf**ks.

I did as well as could be expected on the music, but didn't smoke any spliff when it was offered and also politely declined a cold beer AND a jack and coke.

At the end of the session I was curtly informed I was too "straight" for the band. I didn't ask and they didn't elaborate, but I was one happy camper driving home that night.
 
#110
SeaBassSteve said:
Have you considered they may have had the guy you were Replacing there and he was helping out with the auditions?
Click to expand...

Don't get me started...

I showed up at an audition at this guys house and he had his basement set up like a night club, complete with a stage and a couple of guys sitting at tables drinking beer. The guy they were replacing was there, but he was cool about it.

I bang off about 3-4 songs when they decide to have a smoke break. The leader of the band takes me aside and tell me how great I am, love ta have ya... etc. I say okay, well let's see what happens. Sure, I'll come back.

Second time i show up, the previous guy is STILL THERE. Okay, so he's a friend. Whatever. Let's get to work. We play one song when this guy who was running sound (not a band member) comes up to the stage and says okay, now it's the other guy's (previous player's) turn.

I look at the singer and say "Uh... excuse me, I thought you were replacing him?" He just shrugs.

Fine. Whatever... I'll suit and drink one of their beers. After my beer (about 3 songs) I walked out.

The guy phones me the next day and gave me a BS story about the sound guy and ex bass player being friends. I told him I came to play. Get rid of them both, grow some balls then call me and maybe I'll come out again. NOT! :rollno:
 
#111
we were at rehersal...and a couple people showed up...everyone thought they were friends of someone else....we ran through 3 numbers just as a warmup...aftereards one of the guys steps forward and asks us can we start this weekend.....turns out he was a neighbor and heard us in rehersals and happened to own a club.. we played there on and off for the rest of the year...nice place...good people...completely out of the blue
 

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