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Band break up - did I do the right thing?

#82
One last thing I would like to add. If you don’t have gigs, you don’t really have a band. The easiest way to keep a group of people focussed and all pulling in the same direction is to have a gig to prepare for. If you don’t have a gig, it is much harder to keep everyone interested and on the same page. You will find it is much easier to keep A group together when there is a steady flow of gigs.
 
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#86
mikewalker said:
ooohhh.... this should be on a big banner somewhere at the top of the site :)
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How about we put it on a t-shirt that we can order from the TB store? That way, everyone can wear one when they audition new drummers.

lhindrum said:
Some songs he cut:

One way or another
Zombie
Hit me with your best shot
Just a girl

Some songs from the same artist he wanted to switch:

Foo Fighters - The pretender to The best of you
Green Day - Holiday to Good Riddance (Time of your life
Guns n Roses - Welcome to the Jungle to Sweet Child

Songs he brought in:

Nirvana - Smells like teen spirit
Oasis - Wonderwall
Metallica - Enter Sandman
Click to expand...

OK, while I think that you did do the right thing - no doubt about it - this does make me think a bit more.

The originals of the songs he cut all had a female vocalist. Did you have one? With Zombie it might not matter too much, but I couldn't see an all-male band doing I'm Just A Girl. The idea to drop those might have come from a good place, even if he went about it all wrong.

I'm 50/50 with the switches. I like The Pretender way more than The Best Of You, but do prefer Sweet Child O' Mine to Welcome To The Jungle. Why couldn't the new songs be added to the repertoire without having to switch others out? Or is there a law that says if you cover two songs by any given artist, now you're a tribute band?

As for the new songs, well, they're not bad songs (except for me not being an Oasis fan, but that's just personal choice).

For me, what it comes down to is this: You sit down together and agree on what the band is aiming for. If you're doing clubs and bars and want to get people dancing, you need a set list of songs people know and like and can dance to. Sometimes that means you don't play the songs you love, because they're a bit obscure, or they don't really have a danceable beat. I couldn't see myself dancing to Good Riddance or Wonderwall...
 
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#87
lhindrum said:
Some songs he cut:

One way or another
Zombie
Hit me with your best shot
Just a girl

Some songs from the same artist he wanted to switch:

Foo Fighters - The pretender to The best of you
Green Day - Holiday to Good Riddance (Time of your life
Guns n Roses - Welcome to the Jungle to Sweet Child

Songs he brought in:

Nirvana - Smells like teen spirit
Oasis - Wonderwall
Metallica - Enter Sandman
Click to expand...

First of all, he's stuck in the 90s. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, wants to hear Wonderwall in a bar in 2018.

Nirvana? Are you kidn me?
Enter Sandman????

Ridiculous.

Your setlist wasn't amazing. But his wasn't any better.
 
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#88
Any hit song is worth one try at your favorite room; after all, they were hits for a reason. But you gotta make decisions quickly on what works and what doesn’t with the demographic in your favorite room. Essentially, your audience decides your set list—not your band. We all love the idea of playing our favorite songs at first, but when they don’t speak to the money room, you gotta decide whether you’re going to be precious about your list and not get booked or whether you’re going to step outside your comfort zone and play what sells. Breaking up over a set list before you’ve even got to the litmus test of the crowd response indicates that you all were too focused on what you liked. How could you possibly know otherwise?
 
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#89
This was most of our setlist (the ones we could play reasonably well:

1. One Way Or Another - Blondie (1978)
2. I Love Rock ’n’ Roll - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts (1981)
3. Zombie - The Cranberries (1994)
4. I Want You To Want Me - Letters To Cleo (1977/1999)
5. The Middle - Jimmy Eat World (2001)
6. Boys In Two - Divinyls (1982)
7. Dirty Little Secret - All American Rejects (2005)
8. Highway To Hell - AC/DC (1979)
9. Weir - Killing Heidi (1999)
10. Bad Reputation - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts (1981)
11. Better - The Screaming Jets (1991)
12. Freak - Silverchair (1994)
13. Hit Me With Your Best Shot - Pat Benatar (1980)
14. Just A Girl - No Doubt (1995)
15. Prisoner Of Society - The Living End (1998)
16. Summer Of ’69 - Bryan Adams (1984)
17. Holiday - Green Day (2004)
18. Boulevard Of Broken Dreams - Green Day (2004)
19. Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus (2000)
20. All The Small Things - Blink 182 (1999)
21. Welcome To The Jungle - Guns ’n’ Roses (1987)
jthisdell said:
Every band I've been in it is the singers who control the set list. Everyone else can recommend songs but if no one wants to sing them they do not go very far. Don't understand the idea of drafting a new set list without a new singer. A waste of drama IMHO.
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Agreed. The whole thing was unnecessary at this point. But this guy wanted to know now what the future of the band looked like.
 
#90
oldrocker said:
Do you think maybe the personal reason the singer left had something to do with the new drummer. Sometimes people come up with excuses and they don't want to confront the real issues.

Had you played any gigs with the original line up? Who was singing in the revised band after the original singer left?
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Our singer just told us she was too busy with work and could no longer dedicate the time. No idea if the drummer was a factor.

We had played one gig with the original lineup before she left. We had put up an ad for a new singer
 
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#91
Eilif said:
This is unfortunately my thoughts also. I'm not saying you and the other members weren't victims. However, there is zero reason to let a new member come in and completely take charge. The drummer was the jerk, but you all let him jerk you around.

If you and the other members can accept and understand where failed yourselves there may be hope to restart the group and head forward with a real direction.
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I don't think we let him jerk us around. We let him put forward his ideas, and when we questioned it he left immediately.
 
#92
Seanto said:
Well i don't really care for how the drummer got so aggressive pushing his ideas because he should had known what the band was up front, but maybe he saw a opportunity to take the lead and went for it. Although if you guys had a really bad setlist maybe he was right, who knows.

You did the right thing if you really did not want to play the new material. I also think you did right by standing by an original member. Take your guitarist buddy and recruit two more members to get back on track. Also make sure you spell out the rules of the road for the band before someone agrees to join to hopefully avoid these types of situations in the future.
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I wasn't prepared to abandon an original member who is a good guitarist who I enjoy playing with for this new guy who was trying to shake everything up.
 
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#94
whero said:
How about we put it on a t-shirt that we can order from the TB store? That way, everyone can wear one when they audition new drummers.



OK, while I think that you did do the right thing - no doubt about it - this does make me think a bit more.

The originals of the songs he cut all had a female vocalist. Did you have one? With Zombie it might not matter too much, but I couldn't see an all-male band doing I'm Just A Girl. The idea to drop those might have come from a good place, even if he went about it all wrong.

I'm 50/50 with the switches. I like The Pretender way more than The Best Of You, but do prefer Sweet Child O' Mine to Welcome To The Jungle. Why couldn't the new songs be added to the repertoire without having to switch others out? Or is there a law that says if you cover two songs by any given artist, now you're a tribute band?

As for the new songs, well, they're not bad songs (except for me not being an Oasis fan, but that's just personal choice).

For me, what it comes down to is this: You sit down together and agree on what the band is aiming for. If you're doing clubs and bars and want to get people dancing, you need a set list of songs people know and like and can dance to. Sometimes that means you don't play the songs you love, because they're a bit obscure, or they don't really have a danceable beat. I couldn't see myself dancing to Good Riddance or Wonderwall...
Click to expand...
We were advertising for a new singer and had no preference for male or female. This wasn't a basis for changing songs at that point.
 
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#95
dtsamples said:
Any hit song is worth one try at your favorite room; after all, they were hits for a reason. But you gotta make decisions quickly on what works and what doesn’t with the demographic in your favorite room. Essentially, your audience decides your set list—not your band. We all love the idea of playing our favorite songs at first, but when they don’t speak to the money room, you gotta decide whether you’re going to be precious about your list and not get booked or whether you’re going to step outside your comfort zone and play what sells. Breaking up over a set list before you’ve even got to the litmus test of the crowd response indicates that you all were too focused on what you liked. How could you possibly know otherwise?
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This is how I wanted to proceed. We were playing hit songs, nothing too obscure. If they didn't work live we would have ditched them anyway for something else.
 
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#96
lhindrum said:
Hi all,

This has been on my mind and I wanted to get some opinions...

I had been playing in a new cover band for a few months when things didn't work out with our original drummer. We managed to find a replacement but our singer left shortly after for personal reasons. This prompted our new drummer to call a band meeting in which he informed us that he didn't like our setlist and wanted to come up with his own setlist that we should play. Two days later he brought us a new list which had removed almost all of the thirty or so songs we had already learned.

The drummer also informed us that if we didn't want to play these new songs he wouldn't continue with us. We obliged his request and went along with the plan to begin with but had a few concerns/suggestions with the new setlist which we expressed. This seemed to frustrate him and he asked us to trust him and go along with the plan since he had been in a successful cover band 10 years prior. Even though he said we could choose other songs to add later, it became clear he wouldn't budge from his list of songs.

One of our two guitarists was all for this new plan, but myself and particularly our other guitarist had some reservations. At this point the drummer called me to see if I would continue without this original member to which I refused.

He then immediately posted a message in our group chat saying this wouldn't work and he left. Unfortunately our other guitarist decided to also leave shortly after leaving the band essentially destroyed.

I feel this drummer was being unreasonable, and I'm disappointed that his actions seemed to break up our core group which felt solid beforehand. The drummer claimed we wouldn't go anywhere without following his plan and believed he had the recipe for success. I can't stop thinking about this scenario and whether I did the right thing.

Thoughts? Sorry for long post!
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He was not being unreasonable, he was being a huge a-hole.

Move on.
 
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