Wow. He's a moron to think that his suggestions would make a bit of difference.
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Band break up - did I do the right thing?
- Thread starter lhindrum
- Start date
Wow. He's a moron to think that his suggestions would make a bit of difference.
Pretty bold of him, being the newbie. As far as gigs go, we play songs we don't like as long as we get good crowd reaction. Out thought is it's not about what we like, but what the crowd likes. Each band to its own.
Wow! You guys appear to be pretty passive. HE SAID??? Why would your band allow one member, a new one at that, so much control???
I don't think you can blame the new drummer for breaking up your band. Each members owns his/her own actions. No one forced anyone to leave. If you guys had united early on and had a meeting, you could have decided he wasn't a good fit, then sent him packing.
(Warning: Did not read entire thread.)
My question is: if the drummer knew he only wanted to play his set list, why didn't he bring this up during the initial interview or at least the audition? Didn't he know he was joining your band?
My question is: if the drummer knew he only wanted to play his set list, why didn't he bring this up during the initial interview or at least the audition? Didn't he know he was joining your band?
Just because you don't like it doesn't mean it doesn't work at certainly venues or for a certain audience. Depends on the venues, audiences etc. A closed mind gathers no knowledge.
Agree. I think the whole "post the setlist" thing is really misguided because it tells you nothing except every TBer's personal preferences. The most important thing is the type of places OP was trying to play and whether the songs fit those audiences. Both of those setlists look like typical classic/hard rock lists. If you're playing a biker bar, they both probably have merit. If you're trying to play the dance club full of 20-somethings they're both garbage.
I was in a classic/hard rock band for a bit and the guitar player was similar to the drummer in OP's story. Stubborn old man that refused to learn any modern songs. Complained about how we weren't getting booked at the really good spots but would insist that playing The Who was better than learning Bruno Mars. Dude finally quit out of frustration that we weren't getting better gigs. I moved on and found a band that was willing to add Justin Timberlake and Bruno Mars to the setlist. Now I'm playing the spots that my old band couldn't get into.
Song selection only matters in the context of the venues you're playing.
No you didn't do the right thing. When "The drummer also informed us that if we didn't want to play these new songs he wouldn't continue with us" you should have said AMF (Adios M*&^&* F%$#$).
You asked for opinions and you have mine.
If your take-away from this situation is really that you weren't jerked around by a guy who came in and...
-demanded his setlist and got it
-threw out your setlist
-drove a wedge between your two guitarists
-Drove the other guitarrist out of the band, leading to it's breakup
...then I'm not going to try and argue you out of your opinion.
I'll leave you with this.
Next time you are in a group and are considering adding a new member, first get on the same page with the existing members about:
-The songs and kind of songs you want to play
-How much directional input you want to take from the new member
-What the goals of the band are.
Then you won't be such easy prey for strong willed control freaks like this drummer.
All this said, don't beat yourself up about it. It can be tough to spot and deal with an egomaniac/autocrat/sociopath (not exactly sure which applies to the drummer) when you're in the midst of the situation and similar things have happened to the best of us. Chalk it up to experience and do it differently next time.
Good Luck!
Well I did because I thought the drummer's decision to add FLTS was as ghey as f****...seemed apropos to me.
He said he was initially going to play our songs, but when our singer left this was his opportunity to present his new plan. He said we would have realised eventually anyway that our setlist was no good. Part of my frustration was that he didn't tell us when he joined that he didn't like what we were doing and then when he saw an opportunity he tried to take control.
I agree that the actual setlist is kind of irrelevant to the whole issue. It was never about song selection for me, but rather the conduct of the drummer and how I handled the situation.
The setlist is only relevant in terms of where you were trying to play and whether the drummer was trying to make songs more appropriate for those venues or just insisting on playing what he wanted to play. Absent that context it's meaningless to know what the specific songs were.
You're definitely better off without that drummer, he's an idiot. You're probably better off without that particular band because as several of us have noted, it didn't sound particularly solid in the first place. But now you know and you can link up with the other guitar player and get something good going. And you're a little wiser to the life of a cover band so you know what pitfalls to watch out for.
