You did fine, he did wrong. You're better away from this type of person that have their own agendas and impose them to everyone around.
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Band break up - did I do the right thing?
- Thread starter lhindrum
- Start date
Yeah, I want to know if he was right. If they were playing all b sides instead of good cover tunes this would make sense.
Perhaps the band was lacking leadership and the new drummer tried to fill the void? Sounds like drummer doesn't know the difference between leadership and dictatorship and acted like B when perhaps A was needed.
Hard to see how it could have ended well.
Hard to see how it could have ended well.
Haha, right - and his last successful band was 10 years ago.
This is unfortunately my thoughts also. I'm not saying you and the other members weren't victims. However, there is zero reason to let a new member come in and completely take charge. The drummer was the jerk, but you all let him jerk you around.
If you and the other members can accept and understand where failed yourselves there may be hope to restart the group and head forward with a real direction.
Pretty much my thoughts exactly. Better to start something new with that other guitarist than to keep puttering around with a band that it sounds like no one else was really that committed to.
Every business or social group needs leadership. Democracy doesn't work, not at any level in anything. People with lesser intellect, experience, effort, etc. etc. shouldn't get an equal vote if you want things to work well. Otherwise you'd have your three kids under 10 years old outvoting the two parents to spend the family's entire savings and credit line on Disney merch.
Mutual respect works well however. Of course the singer should get a final veto and everyone's input should be considered, but once it gets down to "well you had three songs so I should get one" it's the beginning of the end. Covers or originals.
That said, OP you stuck to your guns and that's the right thing to do until or unless you future experience tells you to do differently next time.
IMO, it really depends on the list and his reasoning behind it. What worked 10 years ago isn't that relevant, unless he had legit success like casino-level regular bookings.
Best of luck in your next band!
Mutual respect works well however. Of course the singer should get a final veto and everyone's input should be considered, but once it gets down to "well you had three songs so I should get one" it's the beginning of the end. Covers or originals.
That said, OP you stuck to your guns and that's the right thing to do until or unless you future experience tells you to do differently next time.
IMO, it really depends on the list and his reasoning behind it. What worked 10 years ago isn't that relevant, unless he had legit success like casino-level regular bookings.
Best of luck in your next band!
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Dude, you play with some fat drummers.
As others here said, your band likely wasnt that strong of a unit if that could break it up, so maybe he did you a favor?
Im kind of going through this now but with a singer. We are adding a new singer to our cover band (female singer). We have been going at it for over a year now with this lineup and she came in and started throwing out tons of songs. The drummer was sucking it up like a Hoover Deluxe. We have a setlist in place and said we could add a handful of new ones to get out gigging quickly, but not start over. I get it...have to be able to sing it/people pay attention to the singer/etc, but I dont want to relinquish control entirely to one person. We are a democracy...and although I see the value of a true BL, Ive been playing for a long time (and I run two successful businesses) so "taking orders" from someone so we can play that fantastic dive bar gig for $75 per man is not my style. It usually comes down to "I really like this song" rather than any type of data driven decisions.
Im kind of going through this now but with a singer. We are adding a new singer to our cover band (female singer). We have been going at it for over a year now with this lineup and she came in and started throwing out tons of songs. The drummer was sucking it up like a Hoover Deluxe. We have a setlist in place and said we could add a handful of new ones to get out gigging quickly, but not start over. I get it...have to be able to sing it/people pay attention to the singer/etc, but I dont want to relinquish control entirely to one person. We are a democracy...and although I see the value of a true BL, Ive been playing for a long time (and I run two successful businesses) so "taking orders" from someone so we can play that fantastic dive bar gig for $75 per man is not my style. It usually comes down to "I really like this song" rather than any type of data driven decisions.
So the drummer joined the band not liking any of your songs? Sounds like he had the idea of taking over right from the get go and used the singer leaving as his chance to execute the coup. Unfortunately you weren't all on the same page to shut him down immediately when he presented his ultimatum. Once the one guitarist took his side, y'all were doomed.
Previous success or not, carving a set list in stone before you have a singer on board shows a basic lack of understanding of how a good band operates.
Good luck moving on to the next band.
Previous success or not, carving a set list in stone before you have a singer on board shows a basic lack of understanding of how a good band operates.
Good luck moving on to the next band.
So wait you were in a band and replaced your drummer and the new drummer who joined "your band" wanted to run the show?
The only show he would have been getting from me was me showing him the door. There is a reason why everyone on here at one time or another has mutter the phrase "fire the drummer" now you have gone though it yourself. Find another drummer who is a team player with the same mind set as you guys. good luck RTS
The only show he would have been getting from me was me showing him the door. There is a reason why everyone on here at one time or another has mutter the phrase "fire the drummer" now you have gone though it yourself. Find another drummer who is a team player with the same mind set as you guys. good luck RTS
1) Picking a song list without having a singer is a complete waste of time.
2) The person that should have the most input in the song list is the person singing the songs.
3) The person that should have the least input in the song list is the non singing drummer.
2) The person that should have the most input in the song list is the person singing the songs.
3) The person that should have the least input in the song list is the non singing drummer.
4) You are never going to be in a band where everyone completely agrees on the song list. Flexibility is required from everyone.
5) There are about 10,000 songs you could do that would work. Definitely way more than 30.
6) The power in the band is with the person that 1) gets the gigs 2) owns the PA 3) owns the practice spot.
7) Non Singing drummers are easy to replace unless they cover one or more of the areas listed in #6.
5) There are about 10,000 songs you could do that would work. Definitely way more than 30.
6) The power in the band is with the person that 1) gets the gigs 2) owns the PA 3) owns the practice spot.
7) Non Singing drummers are easy to replace unless they cover one or more of the areas listed in #6.
I would remember that drummer's name, so that I would never play a gig with him again.
Bassically, Michael
Bassically, Michael
I heard an interview with Dave Grohl once and he told this joke: "What was the last thing the drummer said to the band?" "Hey, fellas, I've got some ideas for songs we should play."
The thing about musicians (and people in general) is that they aren't interchangeable parts like in a guitar. Each one different, and we should strive to be able to see through them all (in the real world it's impossible, I know). No doubt the bossy drummer was sending you signals even before he opened his mouth, if you could have recognized them. If there's anything I've learned in life it would be to retain a bit of cynicism with strangers, especially if they claim expert opinions.
The thing about a band is that its members have to work as a team, or it really can't succeed. That, rather than almost all other considerations is highest priority. This drummer walked all over you because you let him. The fact that you lost a member shows me you weren't as cohesive a band as you maybe thought you were. That doesn't make you losers, you just ran into someone who had more nerve and experience at manipulating than you were ready for.
The best advice I could give anybody is to hope for the best but be ready to cope with the worst. That you let this guy stay past the first meeting says that you may be a little naïve. Don't worry, there will be other, even more destructive predators in the entertainment business for you to meet in the future.
I, like many others would like to know what the two song lists looked like.
Good luck, work at being more of a hardass.
Tom
The thing about a band is that its members have to work as a team, or it really can't succeed. That, rather than almost all other considerations is highest priority. This drummer walked all over you because you let him. The fact that you lost a member shows me you weren't as cohesive a band as you maybe thought you were. That doesn't make you losers, you just ran into someone who had more nerve and experience at manipulating than you were ready for.
The best advice I could give anybody is to hope for the best but be ready to cope with the worst. That you let this guy stay past the first meeting says that you may be a little naïve. Don't worry, there will be other, even more destructive predators in the entertainment business for you to meet in the future.
I, like many others would like to know what the two song lists looked like.
Good luck, work at being more of a hardass.
Tom
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This is the universe telling you it's time for that original project you've been thinking about...
