Band Meeting Tonight! Help!

[nortonrider]

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[sedan_dad]

"What's another way to say "As a front person you're more awkward than a 14-year old at their first school dance and you have the stage presence of a cucumber?"------------------How about, "You're fired".

 

[steveksux]

Alcohol or drugs could rectify a cucumber.

I would not recommend rectifying a cucumber. You're better off going for the banana in the tailpipe gag. Much thinner and smoother.

Randy

 

[lfmn16]

Why wouldn't it go over well? If a band member don't like me speaking from the heart with a little constructive criticism that will ONLY BENEFIT THEM AND US as a band, then he/she can kiss my ass and kick rocks. What am I supposed to do? Wrap 'em up in a blanket and give 'em a bottle to suck on? Or, just pat 'em on the ass as they walk on stage to make the band sound like a bunch of idiots? No thanks. If what I say hurts their feelings, then oh, well. I will NEVER, EVER hold back from speaking my mind. I don't give a rat's ass who the hell it is. I will shoot straight with 'em. And, I prefer the exact same to be done to me. Don't nobody look at me to pad their fall. No way, no how.

There is no reason you can't speak from the heart AND your brain. You don't need to be rude to get your point across. Also, I don't know you, so this may not apply, but over the years I've found that people who can dish it out like this can rarely take it.

 

[Mike11121]

Alcohol or drugs could rectify a cucumber.

I'm sure Lenny meant this as a joke, but I honestly wouldn't recommend this as an approach. I learned long ago (when playing to an audience was scarier than it is for me now) that the addition of alcohol et al had a two-fold impact on me:

1. It made me much more relaxed, and I sounded much better - but only to me apparently!
2. To everyone else, the quality of my playing rapidly deteriorated

For a bassist this is able to be hidden to some extent. For a front-man (or lead guitarist) though, it can have dire consequences. I'm not sure which is worse - the plainly terrified front-man carrying off the vocals but looking wooden, or the same guy with some chemical-courage strutting about missing lyrics and generally making an ass of him/herself. I'd certainly prefer to play with the former.

And all of this "Person A only every played after 9 1/2 gallons of whiskey and 27 trips, and still nailed everything every time" is, in my experience, pure RnR fantasy - it makes great news copy, but has little relationship with reality. Every drunk/stoned performer I've ever seen looked and sounded drunk/stoned to me. I've certainly seen more than a few prodigies who indulge vigorously AFTER the show, but pre-show was usually fairly tame (again, my experience only).

 

[JohnMCA72]

...

And all of this "Person A only every played after 9 1/2 gallons of whiskey and 27 trips, and still nailed everything every time" is, in my experience, pure RnR fantasy - it makes great news copy, but has little relationship with reality. Every drunk/stoned performer I've ever seen looked and sounded drunk/stoned to me. I've certainly seen more than a few prodigies who indulge vigorously AFTER the show, but pre-show was usually fairly tame (again, my experience only).

Anybody who thinks anybody (self or other) plays better while under the influence, is most likely in that same condition themselves - which is why they are able to think that way.

 

[rust_preacher]

Anybody who thinks anybody (self or other) plays better while under the influence, is most likely in that same condition themselves - which is why they are able to think that way.

My previous band's raider only said that the audience has to be well cared for liquor-wise before we come on stage. It was a workplace band for company gatherings, so I think we were entitled.

I've found that for the band it's best that everyone is equally intoxicated. At least I hate to play sober with a bunch of drunks.