Band 'Tinder'

[-Asdfgh-]

I've never used Tinder, so for the purposes of this discussion, swipe left is reject.

Under 20... Swipe left
Under 10 gigs... Swipe left
Country music... Swipe left, and the next band too to be safe
We are very committed and will definitely get a record deal... Swipe left
We have an EP out and need you to learn all the songs by Tuesday... Swipe left
Photo with adults wearing shorts... Swipe left
Photo looks like it was taken after the band had cleared out the garage... Swipe left
Metal... Swipe left
Cool jazz... Swipe left, have a drink, shudder
Band has eleventy horn players... Swipe left
Top 40 covers band... Swipe left
Band obviously run by megalomaniac who would probably actually want to be despot of a small country... Swipe left.

 

[Oddly]

Love this!
With the possible exception of old-school country...yep!

 

[-Asdfgh-]

We want to practice so often you may never see your family again... Swipe left

 

[spade2you]

I'm reliable, have gear, transportation.....

I'd still be friend zoned on a band version of Tinder. Maybe 2nd or 3rd string if their bassist flakes out or gets arrested.

 

[BoogieZK]

"We are serious but it's a cool mood band, we love to drink beers and have fun" Swipe Left

"... Guitar Pro 6..." Swipe left

"...Rap..."
"...DJ..."
"...depressed pop songs..."
Swiped left so hard my phone spinned and can't figure out if it's front or back.

 

[two fingers]

"We're only gonna do deep cuts cuz all the lovers are out there playing the same old same old."

Swipe left.

"You have to be dedicated. We are going to rehearse twice a week until we're gig ready."

Swipe left. Find person who posted ad. Burn their house down.

"Don't go showing up with some off brand gear."

Swipe left. Find person who posted ad. Punch in the nose. Twice.

"No (enter politician's name here) supporters."

Swipe left. It doesn't even matter who the politician is. I'm out. If your politics are that much a part of your life, you're no fun.

"No drinking. But 420 OK."

Swipe left. Been there done that. It's about as productive as watching paint dry.

"I write all the songs."

Swipe left. You're stupid.

"My girlfriend has connections at several local bars."

Swipe HARD left. Your SO just became our manager. No thanks.

 

[Levent]

You are expected to have a fender jazz bass for required tone in the mix.. true story.
I can't fathom the background of events that compelled him to even suggest that.

 

[ga_edwards]

"We've got a laminated set list we play at every gig"
Swipe left

"There might be a talent scout there - we can really make it big"
Swipe left - not by playing that laminated set list of covers you won't

Anecdote time. I remember there was a regular advert in the classifieds in Guitarist Magazine (UK) years ago. I ran something like this (I can't remember the actual persons name). Bass, drums, keyboards and vocals required to form the Joe Bloggs experience. Contact Joe Bloggs on (tel num) for more details. No egos!

Hard swipe left.

 

[Nashrakh]

So in the rare case you do swipe right and get a match, they ghost you instantly. Sounds familiar.

 

[Flatwound]

“Must have Ampeg SVT and 810 cab.”

True story. Craigslist ad.

 

[Dirtnap]

"Experienced Guitar Player Looking (Macomb County)
Innovative...Guitar...Singer...Both Lead...Very Difficult to work with...Looking for confident band...Professional...Please Call not text..."

Actual Craigslist ad from 2 days ago (underline added). I appreciate the honesty, but I'm going to have to pass.

 

[InhumanResource]

I've never used Tinder, so for the purposes of this discussion, swipe left is reject.

Under 20... Swipe left
Under 10 gigs... Swipe left
Country music... Swipe left, and the next band too to be safe
We are very committed and will definitely get a record deal... Swipe left
We have an EP out and need you to learn all the songs by Tuesday... Swipe left
Photo with adults wearing shorts... Swipe left
Photo looks like it was taken after the band had cleared out the garage... Swipe left
Metal... Swipe left
Cool jazz... Swipe left, have a drink, shudder
Band has eleventy horn players... Swipe left
Top 40 covers band... Swipe left
Band obviously run by megalomaniac who would probably actually want to be despot of a small country... Swipe left.

What are your swipe rights?

 

[Dirtnap]

Any band which describes its drummer as "energetic", "hard-hitting", or anything else indicating the drummer has no dynamic range.

 

[Admiral Akbar]

“Must have Ampeg SVT and 810 cab.”

True story. Craigslist ad.

Unrealistic. But, at least they’ve got taste!

 

[Ostie]

“I’m the BL and my GF plays KB.”
Swipe left.

 

[KevInDaBassment]

It's funny, I was just thinking about crazy Craigslist ads this morning!! lol. "The Experienced [instrument]-ist of 3 years ISO band with 2 Grammys and 1 platinum album minimum." ads are quite a stitch.

 

[allen_m]

If I were female, I’d swipe left.

 

[bassfran]

"Experienced pros only. No jobbers."- swipe left.

 

[Killing Floor]

If I were female, I’d swipe left.
View attachment 4875453

This is pure gold.

 

[sonic 7]

“Please be under 40 years old “ that one bugs me.