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Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by The Owl, Sep 29, 2005.
Start here folks an post your pet peeves bass-related or otherwise---
What the hell... I'll risk getting flamed!
1. Bass players who have the bass hanging so low the pickups can get the vibration off their groins.
2. Bass players who NEVER take their eyes off the fretboard.
3. Bass players who just "stand there".
4. Bass players who always face the drummer.
5. BASS PLAYERS WHO NOODLE BETWEEN SONGS!
1) Rhythm players who have none;
2) Always getting the short end of the sound-check stick;
3) always having to stand way off to one side of stage.
Probably the most obvious one - getting mistaken for a g***arist. I'm sure many of you, like me, have heard "let's hear some Hendrix" or words to that effect when someone sees you tuning up, or sees a bass in the corner of the room, or whatever.
I showed up to play Christmas songs with a choir at Disney World last December and the soundguy had a nice Fender Twin Reverb guitar amp set up for me, thanks to the choir director who told him she was bringing "keyboard and guitar" along with the choir. Lucky for me, I had my trusty SansAmp BDDI along, so I was able to send a good bass signal to the board.
-Any musician who has bad timing/rhythm
-Being treated like a second-class citizen on stage (location)
-Being told I can't go through the mixing board because it's not necessary
-Sam Ash salespeople
-CompUSA "Apple Specialists" who don't know what a kernel panic is
-People that tell me Macs are for graphics and PC's are for office and won't hear it any other way
-Office politics, memos and general corporate landscape
-Political correctness and everything offending everyone
-Medals/awards for each participant instead of just the winner
-Employers who don't offer direct deposit
-Barry Bonds telling me how much to donate to the Red Cross
-People not respecting my instrument
-Being mistaken for a guitarist
-Having to improve my RH technique
-here play this
-how come you amp is so big
-I thought you would just walking line
-why do you bring so much stuff
-why do soundmen never send bass through the monitors
-why are most soundmen dicks
-all lazy mucians us bass players move more and heavey gear than almost anyone else besides the sound guy and thats questionable
Drummer who does "one-and" on the kick drum when it's supposed to be "and-one." And vice-versa.
We have a winner. Bloody soundmen/music directors.
- bassists who hate guitarists
- drummers that have worse rhythm than me
- hearing slap from someone who can't do it
-Going into a music store and hearing someone play Higher Ground.
-Going into a music store and seeing a 40 year old dude playing Higher Ground. :scowl:
Bands that never call back to tell you when the rehersal/audition is.
More so, bands that get all the musicians together, have one or two rehersals, and that's as far sa it gets.
Singers...and their thinking that as long as they show up, their work is done, while the rest of the band is un/loading gear...
Singers who cannot "work" the crowd.
Guitar players who noodle between every song.
Jam musicians who try to tell a rehearsed musician how a (cover) song goes.
Guitar players who play a (cover) song incorrectly, and when shown the correct way by us, continue to play the wrong way, and we have to adjust to them.
Band members who just "disappear" without a trace.
Guitar players who start a song (out of sequence of the list, if there is one) and don't bother to tell anybody else what they are playing. The rest of the band usually thinks this is just more noodling and all stand there looking at each other with that "there he goes again" look.
Guess I'll have to change my "lemme try this bass out song"
-People who play incredibly loud in a music store and then look around to see if anyone's checking them out
-People who say they'll come to the GTG and then no-show
-Tennessee Volunteers, Florida State Seminoles, and Miami Hurricanes
-Baby on Board signs
-Lexus SUV's with a Jesus fish, a "Choose Life" license plate and Yosemite Sam "BACK OFF" mudflaps.
-When I can hear OTHER people's music over mine at a stop light
People who clap on the one and three.
- keyboard players who feel the need to play double left hand octaves in every song and totally kill your dynamic
- drummers who drop time during their bar long drum fills
people who clap at all
guitarists that show boat every song
guitarist that seems to think hes to good for the band
thats all i wont rip him to hard
When a bass player from another band wants to borrow your amp at the gig. Then being asked to come to the stage because he's "not getting a good sound" and discovering the GAIN and MASTER nobs are both on 10.
That would include the entire population of Japan...or so I've been told.
Can't believe no one has mentioned-
The pianist who pounds out the ROOT note with with their Left Hand.
...and the related-
The Guitarist who insists on playing every voicing in ROOT position.