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Best Lines you've heard onstage?
- Thread starter redwingxix
- Start date
Back in the 80's at a gig a young girl (obviously a Madonna fan) ran up to the stage and screamed, Hey, hey, can you play Like A Virgin?" The guitar player looked at her and said, "oh honey..... it's been years".
Tonight, we finish a song and my guitarist looks at me and says "Oh, I changed that key, didn't I?" I answered "Yes." And we both cracked up.
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This happened at a wedding I played at about 15 years ago - it was in a big marquee with over 200 people.
We played the wedding dance song for the couple (Stand By Me) then played a more upbeat song and asked everyone to come on the dance floor.
An Elderly woman with a zimmer frame came over and said to our guitarist "You boys are playing too much of that 'jazzy' music and I don't like jazzy music" our guitarist said "No - we're not a jazz band" and we carried on playing. The woman came up to our guitarist 2-3 more times in the set and asked is to stop playing 'jazzy' music. Our guitarist kept telling her that we were not a jazz band.
At the end of the 1st set the bride came over and asked it we knew a certain song - and our guitarist said "sorry, I don't know who that old lady is over there (pointing to her), but if she asks us to stop playing 'jazzy' music one more time I'm going to whack her over the head with my guitar"!
The bride looks and chuckes - "oh that's my grand mother.... don't worry about her she's tone deaf"!
We played the wedding dance song for the couple (Stand By Me) then played a more upbeat song and asked everyone to come on the dance floor.
An Elderly woman with a zimmer frame came over and said to our guitarist "You boys are playing too much of that 'jazzy' music and I don't like jazzy music" our guitarist said "No - we're not a jazz band" and we carried on playing. The woman came up to our guitarist 2-3 more times in the set and asked is to stop playing 'jazzy' music. Our guitarist kept telling her that we were not a jazz band.
At the end of the 1st set the bride came over and asked it we knew a certain song - and our guitarist said "sorry, I don't know who that old lady is over there (pointing to her), but if she asks us to stop playing 'jazzy' music one more time I'm going to whack her over the head with my guitar"!
The bride looks and chuckes - "oh that's my grand mother.... don't worry about her she's tone deaf"!
"The management has ask that you please don't put your cigarette butts in the urinal. They get all soggy and hard to smoke." Martin Fierro
1984 Diamond David Lee Roth with Van Halen:
"Hey lady! Don't stick out your tongue unless you aim to use it."
for a 13 year old it was solid gold; even if your mom's there,
f!
"Hey lady! Don't stick out your tongue unless you aim to use it."
for a 13 year old it was solid gold; even if your mom's there,
f!
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Jackson Browne and Glenn Frey wrote it together. The story I heard is that Browne started on his own and Frey worked with him to finish it, but the writing credit lists them both. The Eagles released it first, in mid-1972, and Browne released his version in late-1973.
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Sunday, we co-headlined a big festival. The stage was on a tennis court with people sitting in lawn chairs and also people sitting completely around the tennis court outside the fence.
Since much of the audience was older and came to hear us play mostly oldies with some classic rock tunes thrown in, we started off with some 50s and 60s rock and roll songs. We do three Elvis Presley songs in a row and our drummer/keyboardist/vocalist does them very well. I don't know how he got thrown off his game a couple songs into the set and he added extra verses to "Blue Suede Shoes" and "Don't Be Cruel" and I was trying to figure out what he was doing. I turned to him and jokingly said, "So, you like throwing extra verses in the songs today." He said, "I don't know what's wrong with this high-hat. It won't open right and can't remember the words."
I noticed a couple dancing in the back of the tennis court. The lady came up to the stage and asked if we could play a Cha-Cha. I said, "We don't play any Cha-Chas but you can Cha-Cha to any song we play and we won't care."
Since much of the audience was older and came to hear us play mostly oldies with some classic rock tunes thrown in, we started off with some 50s and 60s rock and roll songs. We do three Elvis Presley songs in a row and our drummer/keyboardist/vocalist does them very well. I don't know how he got thrown off his game a couple songs into the set and he added extra verses to "Blue Suede Shoes" and "Don't Be Cruel" and I was trying to figure out what he was doing. I turned to him and jokingly said, "So, you like throwing extra verses in the songs today." He said, "I don't know what's wrong with this high-hat. It won't open right and can't remember the words."
I noticed a couple dancing in the back of the tennis court. The lady came up to the stage and asked if we could play a Cha-Cha. I said, "We don't play any Cha-Chas but you can Cha-Cha to any song we play and we won't care."
A growler is something very different in England!
about 25 years ago in my first covers band we played in a pretty rough pub in South Auckland NZ.... we played our first song and someone yelled out "You fellas know any Hendrix"? so we played Purple haze.... then after the next song same guy says "got any more Hendrix"? so we then played Hey Joe..... then 10 mins later he yells out the same thing and guitarist said sorry we only know 2 Hendrix songs... the man looks at us and said "What sort of band are you"? then walked outside to the smoking area....
Back about 1987 or 1988, we were playing a bar known for a rough crowd. Even the female bar owner would get into fights often. A couple funny things happened there.
We were setting up on the stage and there was a huge, heavy, vinyl type curtain behind the stage. There was another room filled with junk and old cars behind the curtain and it was completely dark. Our drummer said to me, "I wonder what's behind the curtain." I said, "While we are playing, somebody will pull the curtain aside and yank you back into that room." No sooner did I say that than the curtain opened and some creepy looking guy walked out of the dark room. Our drummer had this terrified look on his face and asked me, "How did you know somebody would come out from there?" I replied, "I didn't!"
Another time there, we were playing to a very sparse audience and there was an obviously drunk guy leaning against a bar at the far end of the room and he kept yelling, "You suck!" after every song we played. Finally, we said, "If you don't like us, why don't you leave?" He yelled back, "I can't leave, I live upstairs!" We, then, broke into "Born To Be Wild" and he screamed, "You guys are great!" and he loved us the rest of the gig
We were setting up on the stage and there was a huge, heavy, vinyl type curtain behind the stage. There was another room filled with junk and old cars behind the curtain and it was completely dark. Our drummer said to me, "I wonder what's behind the curtain." I said, "While we are playing, somebody will pull the curtain aside and yank you back into that room." No sooner did I say that than the curtain opened and some creepy looking guy walked out of the dark room. Our drummer had this terrified look on his face and asked me, "How did you know somebody would come out from there?" I replied, "I didn't!"
Another time there, we were playing to a very sparse audience and there was an obviously drunk guy leaning against a bar at the far end of the room and he kept yelling, "You suck!" after every song we played. Finally, we said, "If you don't like us, why don't you leave?" He yelled back, "I can't leave, I live upstairs!" We, then, broke into "Born To Be Wild" and he screamed, "You guys are great!" and he loved us the rest of the gig
I heard one guy introduce the fiddle player and say he was going to imitate the donkey sounds on the fiddle then say the guitar player is going to imitate the other end of the donkey.
Heard a band one time where the guitar-guy was asking bass-guy why he only played fretless basses.
Bass-guy's response: "You get 'em cheaper this way...."
Bass-guy's response: "You get 'em cheaper this way...."
I have real pain in my right upper back when I play (not the strap side). I have found that stretching really helps.
So when I get on stage, I put my T Bird behind my head and do several side to side twists. Which usually draws comments.
My answer: "My music instructor told me to always warm up before I play".
So when I get on stage, I put my T Bird behind my head and do several side to side twists. Which usually draws comments.
My answer: "My music instructor told me to always warm up before I play".
Holy Diver
Commercial User
- Aug 14, 2018
- 120
- 306
- Disclosures
- I was endorsed by Gallien Krueger and ESP in 2002 but am no longer on either company’s roster.
About a hundred years ago, in 2001, my band played the first of what would be many shows, and developed a friendship, with the Dave Brockie Experience, which was a side project of three of the guys from GWAR (Dave "Oderus" Brockie - RIP - who sang and played bass surprisingly well, Mike "Balsac" Derks on guitar, and Brad "Jizmak" Roberts on drums). They would play a mix of original punk songs and selected GWAR standards, all punctuated by Brockie's so-funny-you'd-pee-your-pants between-song stage banter. Example: He was one of the most tolerant, non-homophobic people I've ever known, but wrote and performed the DBX song "F****t On Fire", always hastily explaining while introducing it that it wasn't "a song about lighting gay people on fire, although we WILL be doing songs about that later for those of you who are into that."
Another example: We're doing a hand-to-mouth tour of the Midwest with a final gig in Muncie, IN, at a club that was formerly a dance studio, complete with huge wall mirror and rail (remember this, it figures in momentarily). Brockie is higher than groceries during their set, and at one point about mid-set stops playing and begins screaming at his band mates, "Stop playing! Stop playing!" Mike and Brad, as confused as the rest of us, stop playing and stare at Brockie, who is gazing intently into the big mirror. After several seconds of this, he points and exclaims ecstatically, "There's a whole other show going on in there!" All this before ultimately ending up with his head in the kick drum, wearing nothing but sweaty boxer briefs and running shoes. I have photographic evidence.
Memories....
Another example: We're doing a hand-to-mouth tour of the Midwest with a final gig in Muncie, IN, at a club that was formerly a dance studio, complete with huge wall mirror and rail (remember this, it figures in momentarily). Brockie is higher than groceries during their set, and at one point about mid-set stops playing and begins screaming at his band mates, "Stop playing! Stop playing!" Mike and Brad, as confused as the rest of us, stop playing and stare at Brockie, who is gazing intently into the big mirror. After several seconds of this, he points and exclaims ecstatically, "There's a whole other show going on in there!" All this before ultimately ending up with his head in the kick drum, wearing nothing but sweaty boxer briefs and running shoes. I have photographic evidence.
Memories....
