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Break-up lines

K

khay0s

Dec 21, 2002
1,345
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Brisbane, Australia.
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#1
Howdy,

Lately, I've been having a bit of a habit of getting into relationships too quickly and realising that something wasn't right. Each time, I spend such a great deal of time trying to figure out the easiest way to end the relationship. I don't believe in just ignoring or not calling someone because thats just rude. Not to mention that you're keeping that person's life on hold while they sit next to the phone. So, that leads you to do one of two things - be completely honest and potentially shatter someone's heart instead of just giving it a good rip, or deceiving them so to be 'humane'. But really, which is really in the other person's best interest?

I know I'm going to cop a lot from saying this but I have, once or twice ( :hiding: ), used a lie when I knew the truth would hurt. There are times when your reason is just so horrible that you could never tell the truth - for example, not feeling physical attracted to a person. After all the initial emotions have settled and the real relationship begins, there are times when you just realise that physically they aren't your type. That isn't anything to be ashamed of - I know that I don't like the typical looking female. I generally like bigger girls. However, thats no comfort to the other person now, is it?

So, keeping names anonymous for obvious reasons, what are the worst lies you've said, or worst you've received, when dumping or being dumped?

Leigh
 
#3
I think being honest and direct is best. It may not be a pleasant experience, but in the long run it will help you go to sleep at night, and the other person won't sit around thinking "What did I do wrong, what could I have done differently?".

Last few years, I'm the king of receiving the "breakup line", my wife walked out on me, and in the past month two girls I was dating decided to call it quits (I was dating more than two, still am! ;) ). Here's my take on receiving them:

Do it face to face if possible, if not, in a phone call. TALK to the person, give them that much respect. Don't be over-emotional, try to keep the other person from becoming over-emotional (you have no real control, but being calm and firm helps).

One girl that broke it off with me recently lives a ways off, so it happened over the phone. We had a pleasant conversation about things, and said goodbye. We have talked since, and been very friendly and open. She and I are even considering starting to see each other again, because we get along so well, and we were attracted to each other, although it wasn't the "flash of lightning" that she was looking for (it wasn't for me either, but I really enjoyed her company!). In the end, her being open and honest, and doing this directly (i.e. TALKING to me) kept me from being angry with her, and left the door open for us to at least remain friendly - if not more.

The second girl in question ("gir"l seems so wrong, these are women!) lives about 10 minutes from me. She and I did have the "flash of lightning", and I really fell hard for her, but kept myself from over-committing. There are a lot of extenuating circumstances in her life that I won't elaborate on, but things just would not work out for us, because of her situation. She "yo-yo'd" me, broke things off, then came back, then broke them off. I would leave her be when she broke them off, she persued me. Here's the reason I will not put up with her in the future:

She E-MAILED me to break up! :mad:

She lives just a few minutes away, she has my phone number, there is no excuse for this kind of cowardice, in my opinion. I would never do this to someone I was involved with, and I cannot forgive it being done to me. I felt totally disrespected.

If it won't work out romantically for you, always be respectful of the other person. Have the fortitude to talk to them as a person, respect that they need to hear your voice and hopefully see your face at this time. How you break up is at least as important as why, keep that in mind.

Don't use "lines", just tell the truth, even if it hurts, it's best to be honest.
 
#4
Just say something like "My work-release program ends this weekend so we can't date anymore." or "I broke my parole so I have to go back to the clink. Sorry babe, can you smuggle me a file and a shiv in a cake?"

brad cook
 
#5
Ok, now that I've actually read your post... :smug:

The worst dumping on for me was when I was dating a girl who went to school at Univ. of Kentucky and lived in Ohio (we met when we worked together in California...I know it's all mixed up). I was going to school at Texas A&M at the time. Anyway...she came and saw me one weekend and acted like everything was fine. Then after she left I went ahead and bought my nonrefundable plane tickets through priceline because we'd already decided when we were going to get together the next time and I'd told her that I was buying the tickets. A few days later she called and broke up. Turns out she had a feeling she was going to break up the whole time she was here. I felt pretty lied to.

brad cook
 
#6
Although it's not a breakup story I had to share this because it was the best ever date rejection I've had.

I called up this hot girl that was a member of a student group I was part of in college.

I said "Hey, I was wondering if maybe I could take you to dinner this weekend?"
she said "I'm out of town this weekend"
me "Oh ok, maybe some other time." I was about to hang up at this point and then she goes
"I'm out of town the next weekend too."

Ouch... I didn't even mention ANYTHING about the next weekend but she sure as hell made sure I KNEW she wasn't going to be going out with me then either.

It all worked out in the end though!

brad cook
 
#7
khay0s said:
Howdy,

Lately, I've been having a bit of a habit of getting into relationships too quickly and realising that something wasn't right. Each time, I spend such a great deal of time trying to figure out the easiest way to end the relationship. I don't believe in just ignoring or not calling someone because thats just rude. Not to mention that you're keeping that person's life on hold while they sit next to the phone. So, that leads you to do one of two things - be completely honest and potentially shatter someone's heart instead of just giving it a good rip, or deceiving them so to be 'humane'. But really, which is really in the other person's best interest?

I know I'm going to cop a lot from saying this but I have, once or twice ( :hiding: ), used a lie when I knew the truth would hurt. There are times when your reason is just so horrible that you could never tell the truth - for example, not feeling physical attracted to a person. After all the initial emotions have settled and the real relationship begins, there are times when you just realise that physically they aren't your type. That isn't anything to be ashamed of - I know that I don't like the typical looking female. I generally like bigger girls. However, thats no comfort to the other person now, is it?

So, keeping names anonymous for obvious reasons, what are the worst lies you've said, or worst you've received, when dumping or being dumped?

Leigh
Click to expand...





No offense but this sounds like something that George Costanza from "Seinfeld" would ask. :D
How about just taking things slower to begin with, be a little less commital about the relationship in the begining then you don't have to deal with breaking up.
 
#8
KeithPas said:
No offense but this sounds like something that George Costanza from "Seinfeld" would ask. :D
How about just taking things slower to begin with, be a little less commital about the relationship in the begining then you don't have to deal with breaking up.
Click to expand...
Holy ****...my family said the exact same thing to me today as I bothered them with my dramas. I'm concerned, now. :help:

Leigh
 
#10
Gard said:
I think being honest and direct is best. It may not be a pleasant experience, but in the long run it will help you go to sleep at night, and the other person won't sit around thinking "What did I do wrong, what could I have done differently?".
Click to expand...

This is the best & correct advice one can give you Khayos. Years later, when someone looks back on these days, do you want them to remember you as, "That skank who jerked me around" OR "Hey, it didn't work, but at least she was honest to me, that's cool.. I hope she finds what she's looking for."

Gard said:
She E-MAILED me to break up! :mad:
Click to expand...

OMG, that's ****ty. That's REALLY gutless.
 
#13
My experience has been my girl left me to a different country. Long distance reationship is definitely not 4 everyone, but only after about 1 month after she left...we "broke-up". I quoted the word simply because we never actually ended the relationship officially. Both of us never actually broke off the relationship....in my part i did not want it to end, but relationship cant happen one sided. Anyways, she kept me on hold 4 a long time until I decided to move on.

Not confronting your partner about things like these is very very inhumane! My suggestion is being as honest as you can be, but still being polite and considerate.

My break up line has been denying at all that we had a relationship....that she had a dejavu all these times..... "what!!? nothing happened!...what are you talkin about!!??"....:hyper: :D :bawl:
 
#14
I was dating an opera performance major in college (look up 'bad idea' in the dictionary), and for some reason or the other we both fell in love with each other, you know, that all-consuming crazy love. I thought I was going to breed with this young lady, and she said as much to me as well.
Well, as things went on, she noticed that her level of focus towards her singing had slipped considerably, and supposedly this was her life's passion. Anyways, things fell apart, and she dumped me right after I had gotten back from a trip to NYC, flowers in hand.
Her Line: "you're too good for me, I don't deserve you"
and in addition: "I just need to be by myself so I can focus on my singing."
Two months later she's dating the rich son of the head of NEXTEL!!!! Complete dork with a fat check book, and she cheats on him.
I better stop now. Worst thing that ever happened to me, excepting the fact that it taught me just how much I need my bass to get through the tough times.
I may be bitter and heart broken (two years later still), but dammit I'm the most focused bass player I've ever been.
 
#16
ElMon said:
I was dating an opera performance major in college (look up 'bad idea' in the dictionary), and for some reason or the other we both fell in love with each other, you know, that all-consuming crazy love. I thought I was going to breed with this young lady, and she said as much to me as well.
Well, as things went on, she noticed that her level of focus towards her singing had slipped considerably, and supposedly this was her life's passion. Anyways, things fell apart, and she dumped me right after I had gotten back from a trip to NYC, flowers in hand.
Her Line: "you're too good for me, I don't deserve you"
and in addition: "I just need to be by myself so I can focus on my singing."
Two months later she's dating the rich son of the head of NEXTEL!!!! Complete dork with a fat check book, and she cheats on him.
I better stop now. Worst thing that ever happened to me, excepting the fact that it taught me just how much I need my bass to get through the tough times.
I may be bitter and heart broken (two years later still), but dammit I'm the most focused bass player I've ever been.
Click to expand...


Dang brother that sucks. Don't sweat it. She probably would have cheated on you so be glad you are done with her. Find you a nice jewish girl and settle down some day. For now? Bang every chance you get.


I give bad advice. Sorry
 
#17
There was the girl I picked up while a little more drunk than I thought I was. One night, one bad realization, one seriously ugly girl (with an amazing body...). She called, and I tried to be nice, but honest and said there was no real chemistry between us and that I didn't want to see her again. That's pretty concrete- I thought. She kept calling. And calling. And calling. She filled my answering machine- filled the tape with messages over one weekend!!! Crazy Kathryn Hepburn wobbly voice. Eek. She ended up calling on a Sunday nite at 3 or 4 AM and I had to be up at 5. I yelled at her and I said things to her I have never said to anyone and meant it. I told her she was dumber than a jar of rocks, I told her she was ugly, I told her I didn't like her and that if I hadn't been drunk there was no way in hell I would have got near her. I insulted her clothes, her hair, her job and God knows what else. All at the top of my lungs.

Yes, she kept calling.

My neighbor's girlfriend was over and had her answer the phone and had her be all catty. A few days later when I got bold enough to answer my phone again I told her I had gotten back together with an old girlfriend and that she had gotten me in trouble by calling. That worked.
 
#19
Whenever I hear those four dreaded words..."We need to talk." I KNOW what's next. Last time I heard it, I told the girl to stop right there, and hung up the phone. Never heard from her again. I think the next time I get into one of those conversations, I'm going to whip out the old "It's not ME, it's YOU!" line...that, or I'll tell her that I'm actually gay, but was "experimenting" with her. See how that one plays out. I get tired of being dumped, so maybe if I have a little fun with it, like having her say "It's over", then excusing myself so I can call my other girlfriend, or having one of my many female friends show up to pick me up during "the conversation"...
 
#20
khay0s said:
... Not to mention that you're keeping that person's life on hold while they sit next to the phone.
Click to expand...

Personally, I think we flatter ourselves too much if we think the jilted person is waiting by the phone for our call. If so, they have bigger emotional shoes that need filling than we can provide.
A healthy person moves on.

So, that leads you to do one of two things - be completely honest and potentially shatter someone's heart instead of just giving it a good rip, or deceiving them so to be 'humane'. But really, which is really in the other person's best interest?
Click to expand...

It's not impossible or dangerous to remain friends, (that's one element of truth I've found in "Seinfeld" between he and Elaine).
The bigger issue is if you're going after ladies who are within her communications realm. Chicks, IME, have HUGE intelligence rings you never realized that give reports on you. If you have a nasty, low-down, break-up with no class, it will get around the hen house. No lady will trust you or feel comfortable about the relationship.
Believe me - women have better intelligence gathering apparatus than the CIA !!!

So, be classy, tell her you want to stay in contact with her because she obviously has qualities you appreciate, and that you don't want to lose communication with her. Life has a funny way of twisting things around.
 

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