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Cancelled a NYE gig
- Thread starter samson3382
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I'm making some family changes right now also. Been on the road for almost 5 1/2 years but my mother-in-law and father-in-law are getting up there and really need our help. So we just bought a place near them and I'm looking now at playing in church praise bands or jamin' with locals on Saturday nights. We did this 15 years ago with my parents so we're old timers with the family gigs. Someday it will be us.
It's a wake up call for a lot of my family and friends and myself. My dad has always seemed bulletproof in my eyes. It's shocking in the least to see him taken down. Wasn't long ago I was watching him kick but in judo matches.
That is the point where any decent person whose living does not rely on gigging should have said......"fair enough, I understand" and left it there. Sure, he may have to stress about getting a sub or even let his mate down and blow out the gig but particularly for someone in your situation, family comes first.
Um....no. $500 for the whole band to play out of town on New Years and you have to pay for your lodging?? You would basically be lose money. Whenever anybody asks me if I want to play on New Years I have a basic rule that I myself have to at least make $250 to make it worth it to take me away from my kids for that occasion.
Family first, you did the right thing and also learned a bit about "bandmate(s)".
Be strong for your Dad as he was for you.
We got our latest member(pro touring band for country folks) by him moving back to Texas to take care of his Dad a few years back. He came out, heard us and saw the audience interaction, and asked to join. Fast forward 3 years and he gets a call about his Dad possibly having a stroke during a gig. We stopped the show, sent him home(told him to get the heck home!), continued and finished the gig as we were prior to his joining, and took care of his gear for him. We were 3 piece + singer prior......no biggie.
A sub bassist got to fly to California wine country for a wedding when it got put on the same night as my son's high school graduation. No problem, no bandmate grumbling. Our guitarist missed 2 shows one week when he had MANDATORY out of town training for his employer. We got 2 different & talented subs. No biggie.
$500 for NYE?
Negative Ghost Rider, the pattern is full.
Be strong for your Dad as he was for you.
We got our latest member(pro touring band for country folks) by him moving back to Texas to take care of his Dad a few years back. He came out, heard us and saw the audience interaction, and asked to join. Fast forward 3 years and he gets a call about his Dad possibly having a stroke during a gig. We stopped the show, sent him home(told him to get the heck home!), continued and finished the gig as we were prior to his joining, and took care of his gear for him. We were 3 piece + singer prior......no biggie.
A sub bassist got to fly to California wine country for a wedding when it got put on the same night as my son's high school graduation. No problem, no bandmate grumbling. Our guitarist missed 2 shows one week when he had MANDATORY out of town training for his employer. We got 2 different & talented subs. No biggie.
$500 for NYE?
Negative Ghost Rider, the pattern is full.
God > Country > Family > Everything else...
A $500 gig for the whole band is a low priority in your life right now. Even if it was a local gig.
A $500 gig for the whole band is a low priority in your life right now. Even if it was a local gig.
I agree with the Family first sentiment, and the oft-expressed opinion in this thread that your bandleader is a... well, he is what he is.i-84 on New Years Eve. Hmm, I wonder what Deadman's Pass looks like right now...
Family first. Good call.
And then bobunit mentions Deadman's pass. Winter? No way. I've driven it numerous times in Spring and Summer, and wouldn't even consider it in the winter. Not that I couldn't handle it, it's the idiots on the road that worry me. I drove it (westbound) a couple months ago in a heavily loaded 26' u-haul, towing a car on a trailer, and my son-in-law said 'never again'. And he wasn't even the one driving (and no, he wasn't commenting on my driving; He just didn't like that hill).
This gig would require more money, plus hotel, rented backline, and plane tickets.
I don't feel so bad turning down $1500 for a local NYE gig then.
So your band mate has plane tickets to the gig, I wonder why he is kicking up a fuss about the airline tickets,
were they provided by the 'to be Wed' friends of the band mate?
What else was in the deal that you weren't told about?
A 3rd share of $500, for you to do the grunt work, provide the P.A. which will be used for the speeches and D.J. work too, provide your own transport at your own cost (not even factoring insurance and vehicle wear & tear), while your band mate and wife fly to the event at there own comfort and leisure, and probably stay in a comfortable hotel provided as part of the gig deal.
You are sure on a winner there !!
So your band mate has plane tickets to the gig, I wonder why he is kicking up a fuss about the airline tickets,
were they provided by the 'to be Wed' friends of the band mate?
What else was in the deal that you weren't told about?
A 3rd share of $500, for you to do the grunt work, provide the P.A. which will be used for the speeches and D.J. work too, provide your own transport at your own cost (not even factoring insurance and vehicle wear & tear), while your band mate and wife fly to the event at there own comfort and leisure, and probably stay in a comfortable hotel provided as part of the gig deal.
You are sure on a winner there !!
I think this venture could potentially end up in a Buddy Holly/Ritchie Valens like situation. In other words, NOT GOOD!
I forgot to mention in the OP, as far as I understand, there will be a DJ there anyway, with a "DJ" PA, which we/I didn't want to count on.
So yeah
Wondering the same myself. Im beginning to think their flights were indeed part of the "deal" exactly as you put it.
So yeah
What else was in the deal that you weren't told about?
Wondering the same myself. Im beginning to think their flights were indeed part of the "deal" exactly as you put it.
Yeah, I used to drive long distance a lot for work, often in horrible weather. Been in some scary situations. I feel like I've been lucky every time, and the older I get, the less I like to push my luck.
- Oct 18, 2012
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Family comes first.
Aside from that, I would never take a gig for such short money so far from home.
Aside from that, I would never take a gig for such short money so far from home.
What are the chances the BL is able to talk a sub bassist into this folly? Unless they live around the corner from the venue?
But I'm still with the OP and the general sentiment. Family is first priority. BL's vanity project: way down the list.
Yeah - it just comes down to this: You have a family with kids. Don't take a NYE gig, especially one out of town unless you are getting paid accordingly. It's not worth it. Trust me.
It's weird, I look at how much money I make from playing. I maybe make $500 on a good month. As much as I enjoy it and my bands are pretty good IMO, I wonder if it is worth the toll it takes on my family sometimes. I think all the time about just buying some recording equipment and getting my musical joys out that way.
Gaolee
Official leathers tester and crash dummy
Or, depending on fuel economy, paying to play. It's a no go all around unless it's some kind of charity deal that makes it a donation. It's a wedding, so it's not charity. $500 for a wedding band is amazingly cheap unless you are really, really awful.
Many are hung up on the pay rate, date and function. So if the gig was for $5000 should the OP make it work? If it wasn't a wedding? If it was the 4th of April? The OP still can't make the gig because his family comes first. In a pro band it is easier to get a sub and buy your way out of a jam, but this is a hobby band and they have no work around. Family should come 1st but when you are in a band you also have an obligation to honor your commitments when you can. The guy who booked the gig should probably offer to DJ the gig as it is his friends wedding. BTW you can't get a wedding DJ for less than a grand in these parts.
Oh I think I get why your buddy is upset about the tickets, he has flights from to Chicago and from there to Portland. He was planning on riding back with you and now he needs to buy another ticket to get home.
Obviously the level of band playing gigs and making $5000 would find a sub very easily.
