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Carrot News Megathread

Do you love carrots?

  • Yes

    Votes: 127 78.9%

  • Yes

    Votes: 108 67.1%
  • Total voters
    161
#482
I forget where I saw this, but apparently, "vegetable candles" are a thing, somewhere, for some reason. :roflmao:


carrot candles.jpg
 
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#493
PDW30 said:
Strange - they don't say eating carrots makes you a better bass player. It does, doesn't it?
Click to expand...
From our soon-to-be AI overlords:

No, eating carrots does not make you a better bass player. There is no evidence suggesting a direct link between consuming carrots and improving musical ability.

However, carrots do offer health benefits that could indirectly support your playing:
  • Vision Health: Carrots are rich in vitamin A, which is important for maintaining eye health.
  • Overall Nutrition: They are a nutrient-dense food that supports general health.
For actual improvement as a bass player, consistent practice and developing a solid understanding of musical, rhythm, and technique are the recommended approaches.
 
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#494
Drucifer said:
From our soon-to-be AI overlords:

No, eating carrots does not make you a better bass player. There is no evidence suggesting a direct link between consuming carrots and improving musical ability.

However, carrots do offer health benefits that could indirectly support your playing:
  • Vision Health: Carrots are rich in vitamin A, which is important for maintaining eye health.
  • Overall Nutrition: They are a nutrient-dense food that supports general health.
For actual improvement as a bass player, consistent practice and developing a solid understanding of musical, rhythm, and technique are the recommended approaches.
Click to expand...
Stupid AI left out the biggest opportunity for improvement, new gear.
 
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#496
Hey!! I fact-checked with Claude AI and it offered this:

The Carrot-Bass Nexus: A Breakthrough in Nutritional Musicology​


From: Journal of Applied Nutrition and Musicology, Vol. 47, Issue 3, pp. 112–119
Authors: Dr. Flemming Rootveld, PhD (Daucology & Rhythmic Biochemistry), Uppsala Institute for Improbable Research


It has been conclusively demonstrated — in the sense that we ran the numbers until they agreed with us — that regular consumption of Daucus carota (common carrot, raw, unwashed, preferably stolen from a neighbour's garden) produces a cascade of profoundly bass-positive physiological effects in the adult human musician. Central to this phenomenon is the dramatic upregulation of beta-carotene-induced haemoglobin resonance, whereby carotenoid compounds bond with iron-rich red blood cells to produce what the literature now calls "grooved erythrocytes" — blood cells that, under electron microscopy, appear to pulse in 4/4 time.

This rhythmically entrained circulatory chemistry delivers oxygen to the finger flexors with a precision and low-end authority entirely absent in non-carrot-consuming pianists and, frankly, all guitarists. Furthermore, beta-carotene's well-documented conversion to Vitamin A triggers a little-discussed secondary pathway in the cochlea — retinal-auditory transduction — allowing the practised carrot consumer to physically hear sub-50Hz frequencies that would reduce a lesser musician to merely "feeling a bit odd near the speaker stack."

Perhaps most strikingly, subjects consuming ≥3 carrots daily for eight weeks demonstrated a 340% increase in Type IIx extreme nerve fibre density along the ulnar pathway — the so-called "Bootsy Bundle" — producing finger-to-string response times approaching those theoretically possible only in robots, or Pino Palladino. Grip dynamometry further confirmed statistically significant increases in left-hand fretting torque (p < 0.003, which we consider excellent), with subjects spontaneously executing previously impossible string bends while muttering things like "oh, that's it" and "yeah."

We therefore conclude, with the quiet confidence of people who have already ordered the commemorative Mesa tote bag, that the humble carrot is not merely a vegetable but a Schedule I performance-enhancing root, and recommend its immediate reclassification by WADA, the Musicians' Union, and your mother.
 
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#497
mikewalker said:
Hey!! I fact-checked with Claude AI and it offered this:

The Carrot-Bass Nexus: A Breakthrough in Nutritional Musicology​


From: Journal of Applied Nutrition and Musicology, Vol. 47, Issue 3, pp. 112–119
Authors: Dr. Flemming Rootveld, PhD (Daucology & Rhythmic Biochemistry), Uppsala Institute for Improbable Research


It has been conclusively demonstrated — in the sense that we ran the numbers until they agreed with us — that regular consumption of Daucus carota (common carrot, raw, unwashed, preferably stolen from a neighbour's garden) produces a cascade of profoundly bass-positive physiological effects in the adult human musician. Central to this phenomenon is the dramatic upregulation of beta-carotene-induced haemoglobin resonance, whereby carotenoid compounds bond with iron-rich red blood cells to produce what the literature now calls "grooved erythrocytes" — blood cells that, under electron microscopy, appear to pulse in 4/4 time.

This rhythmically entrained circulatory chemistry delivers oxygen to the finger flexors with a precision and low-end authority entirely absent in non-carrot-consuming pianists and, frankly, all guitarists. Furthermore, beta-carotene's well-documented conversion to Vitamin A triggers a little-discussed secondary pathway in the cochlea — retinal-auditory transduction — allowing the practised carrot consumer to physically hear sub-50Hz frequencies that would reduce a lesser musician to merely "feeling a bit odd near the speaker stack."

Perhaps most strikingly, subjects consuming ≥3 carrots daily for eight weeks demonstrated a 340% increase in Type IIx extreme nerve fibre density along the ulnar pathway — the so-called "Bootsy Bundle" — producing finger-to-string response times approaching those theoretically possible only in robots, or Pino Palladino. Grip dynamometry further confirmed statistically significant increases in left-hand fretting torque (p < 0.003, which we consider excellent), with subjects spontaneously executing previously impossible string bends while muttering things like "oh, that's it" and "yeah."

We therefore conclude, with the quiet confidence of people who have already ordered the commemorative Mesa tote bag, that the humble carrot is not merely a vegetable but a Schedule I performance-enhancing root, and recommend its immediate reclassification by WADA, the Musicians' Union, and your mother.
Click to expand...
I always dreamed of publishing a paper in Journal of Irreproducible Results - Wikipedia. Too late now ...
 
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#498
1779388696229.png


From article:

Aldi reveals the surprising benefits of carrots in powering marathon runners​


“They [carrots] provide a gentle, steady source of energy thanks to natural sugars, while their high water content helps support hydration. They also contain potassium for muscle function and beta-carotene, which supports recovery and immune health, which are all important for anyone training consistently.”
 
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