Corrupt-a-wish, reloaded

[MakiSupaStar]

Granted. Except now it doesn't come home until 7 at night and demands dinner, beer, and and hummer under the table while it eats.

I wish I had a 7 foot 7 hot Asian female with a hot sister.

 

[disenchant]

Granted. Except now it doesn't come home until 7 at night and demands dinner, beer, and and hummer under the table while it eats.

I wish I had a 7 foot 7 hot Asian female with a hot sister.

Actually the tallest woman is Asian and 7' 9", I saw a program on her.

Invalid Link Removed

 

[disenchant]

Granted. Except now it doesn't come home until 7 at night and demands dinner, beer, and and hummer under the table while it eats.

I wish I had a 7 foot 7 hot Asian female with a hot sister.

Oh yeah, and your wish is granted. It's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway, and her hot sister is a lesbian.

I wish I had an iPod touch.

 

[MatticusMania]

Granted. You are now a 7 foot 7 Asian female with a hot sister.

I wish I had car that worked.

I think you may have somehow improved upon my dream... just one question... can tall asian women play basketball?

 

[MatticusMania]

Oh yeah, and your wish is granted. It's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway, and her hot sister is a lesbian.

I wish I had an iPod touch.

Granted. Your ipod touches you while you sleep.

I wish I had a hotdog to throw down a hallway.

 

[MakiSupaStar]

I think you may have somehow improved upon my dream... just one question... can tall asian women play basketball?

Not sure, but they sure can play volleyball.

And one more for good measure.

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[Beno]

Granted, the hallway is alive and eats you though.

I wish I could party like it's 1999!

 

[ulrich]

I wish I could party like it's 1999!

Granted it's 1999, you are at a rave, everyone is 13-17 years old, and "E-ing Balls" The only music all night, is bland, populist, uplifting trance. (AKA chick trance)

I wish I could play like Bootsy, John Taylor, and Jeff Magnum.

 

[MatticusMania]

Not sure, but they sure can play volleyball.

And one more for good measure.

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Well, I guess a volleyball player can still be a baller.

 

[Thunderscreech]

Granted it's 1999, you are at a rave, everyone is 13-17 years old, and "E-ing Balls" The only music all night, is bland, populist, uplifting trance. (AKA chick trance)

I wish I could play like Bootsy, John Taylor, and Jeff Magnum.

Granted. But you look like a fusion of all three men. And it's not pretty.

I wish my head didn't feel so funny.

 

[embellisher]

Granted. You head now feels terrible.

I wish clowns didn't taste funny.

 

[Jim Nazium]

They taste disgusting, as you now know from direct personal experience with 1,000 low-budget circus clowns.

I wish I had a date with Marisa Miller.

 

[Thunderscreech]

Granted. It's her transvestite lookalike thought.


I wish that girl would call me so I can get my 12-string back.

 

[wabbit]

Granted. She ships your guitar back to you but unfortunately, it's in 27 small boxes that all smell like sawdust. Not sure what you did but boy is she pissed.

I wish I could blay my bass with my wiener just like murderface.

 

[Thunderscreech]

Granted. She ships your guitar back to you but unfortunately, it's in 27 small boxes that all smell like sawdust. Not sure what you did but boy is she pissed.

I wish I could blay my bass with my wiener just like murderface.

Granted. It gets covered in calluses and women take one look at it and flee screaming.


I wish I had a five String Bongo

 

[Kaneesel]

granted, but it's a literal bongo drum, with five strings across it to make it like a bongo snare..... that might be kinda cool now that i think about it...

I wish i had a bongo snare drum!

 

[wabbit]

Granted. It gets covered in calluses and women take one look at it and flee screaming.

That part already happens.

Your wish is granted and you have a shiny new 5 string bongo. Unfortunately though, it's impossibly difficult to set up, it never stays in tune thus causing it to create dissonant sounds even though you only pluck single notes and you end up throwing it into the nearest river in sheer disgust.

I wish I wasn't so durned happy all the time.

 

[Kaneesel]

granted, your terribly depressed and try to hang yourself, but the rope breaks, leaving more depressed than ever.

I wish they would play Queens of the Stone age on the radio here.

 

[wabbit]

Break from thread for a sec .....

why don't they play QOTSA in Detroit? That would suck cuz I'm a huge fan. Saw them when they came through Toronto recently and I just saw EODM last Friday. It was total awesomeness, in a can (cuz that way it stays fresher). Joey was playing drums for EODM and he was incredible to watch.

Anywho, back to the thread.

Your wish is granted and the Detroit radio stations collectively take their heads outta their arses and play QOTSA 24/7 mixed with some EODM and Foos for good measure. Oh, need something bad for this ..... you ummmmm ..... get a slight ringing in your ears for just crankin the tunes too loud for too long. No permanent damage results from this though.

I wish I could stop having nightmares of Rosie Odonnell and Oprah Winfrey wrestling in a vat of creamed corn in Speedos.

 

[ulrich]

Break from thread for a sec .....

I wish I could stop having nightmares of Rosie Odonnell and Oprah Winfrey wrestling in a vat of creamed corn in Speedos.

Granted. You now dream of Rosie Odonnell, Oprah Winfrey, and Whoppi Goldberg wrestling in a vat of creamed corn, while buck naked.

I wish I hap a a place to build a Fearful 15. And the required funds. And I still have the tools, skills, and abilities. And my woodshop is in the back of the house I share with my adoring wife, Natalie Portman.