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Crusty old basses

1941 Kay.

I just lick the grunge off.

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I bought a 1974 Strat from a buddy, and I know he's a bit of a slob, but when I was wiping it down, I didn't realize how filthy it was.

I ended up just ripping it apart and cleaned it and fixed what needed to be addressed.

I am all for cleaning it completely. When it comes to dings, dents and wear, I really don't care. That's where the "mojo" is, not in the filth.
 
So much horribly bad advice in this thread. Ammonia and pledge being used on any instrument you care about (or any piece of electronics you care about) is maybe the dumbest thing I've ever heard. If you wanna ruin your crap have a ball, but don't drag other people's crap down with you. Let them NOT ruin their finish or screen. I'm sure they'll be much happier.
 
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I like vintage instruments as well as the next person, but I am really put off by the amount of embedded crud, scuzz, and slime that people leave on them for authenticity or fear of damaging by cleaning. I don't want a DNA sample from every person who every played the instrument. Gross!

I'm nuts, right? I should just let it go?

First thing I do with every and any used instrument I buy is remote the strings and give it a good cleaning. Dirt is dirt, just as damage is damage (not mojo, folks. NOT.)
 
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I would still punch em in the face...
You can put lighter fluid on your bass if you want.
Not me.
No chickens or lemon joy either.

Naptha is the proper cleaner to use for rosewood fretboard or other uncoated oil-based woods. It is not harmful to the wood and should be applied to the towel then wipe the fretboard to remove the finger funk. Just don't over do it and always follow up with an oil dressing made for fretboards. I use F1 oil. I wouldn't use naptha anywhere else on a guitar besides a raw wood fretboard. Maple fretboards are coated and sealed so naptha or anything like it should not be used on maple.
 
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I refuse to play any bass that looks like I might catch something from it.

A bass that is 'well sealed' in a poly resin finish, and a neck that has a similar finish you can pretty much just clean it with normal cleaning products. A bass that has an open finish, oil, wax, or unfinished wood should be cleaned carefully with products that won't damage. If you're working with a nitro finish, you'll have to be just as careful.

Also, a good quality microfiber cloth will polish and clean your instrument without leaving those crappy swirly micro-scratches. I bought a bunch a few years ago and my basses remain pristine.
 
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I even feel ashamed to let my bass be seen when it's too dirty.
It's like going around with dirty clothes.

Also a clean bass looks way better once on sale, how hard can it be just to clean it?

Judging by the number of people that apparently clean their basses with abrasive chemicals that destroy finishes and feel the need to recommend it to other people, I'm going to say that (like everything else in this world that humans touch) it's made to be harder than it should be. Unless you have common sense. Good luck finding that today.

This is the same world where products specifically designed to clean your instrument the correct way can be had for less than 10 bucks at any music store. But Ammonia and Pledge are clearly the safer, better choice even though they have all types of chemical reactions with various products and ruin them.
 
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Windex is my friend.

Windex for chrome, Pledge for the rest?

No Windex contains ammonia which will eventually yellow and discolor plastics and wood. Instead you want to use Glass Plus which contains no ammonia. I use Glass plus to clean my piano keys. Removes gunk. Will not yellow the "ivories". i clean my basses with guitar polish. If newly acquired and laden with gunk, A little Murphy's oil soap is OK, followed by Guitar polish. By the way, "cheese" gunk on fingerboard near or on frets can easily and safely be removed by a pink eraser. Gets frets shiny like new. Don't believe me? Try it right now and get back to us.
 
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No Windex contains ammonia which will eventually yellow and discolor plastics and wood. Instead you want to use Glass Plus which contains no ammonia. I use Glass plus to clean my piano keys. Removes gunk. Will not yellow the "ivories". i clean my basses with guitar polish. If newly acquired and laden with gunk, A little Murphy's oil soap is OK, followed by Guitar polish. By the way, "cheese" gunk on fingerboard near or on frets can easily and safely be removed by a pink eraser. Gets frets shiny like new. Don't believe me? Try it right now and get back to us.

All sound advice. To add to that, a good car wax/polish (Meguiar's is what I use) is generally cheaper and more readily available and will do just as good a job.
 
I like vintage instruments as well as the next person, but I am really put off by the amount of embedded crud, scuzz, and slime that people leave on them for authenticity or fear of damaging by cleaning. I don't want a DNA sample from every person who every played the instrument. Gross!

I'm nuts, right? I should just let it go?
Unless you're buying it or playing it, don't worry about it.