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Dating websites : yay or nay?
- Thread starter Thomas Kievit
- Start date
buldog5151bass
Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.
Let's start an international incident.
buldog5151bass
Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.
Isn't that Malmsteem guy Swedish? He should elicit enough negative comments to $$&%$ off both Swedes and guitarists.
So fat girl has stopped hitting on me....phew anyways today my manager came in wearing hooker makeup. Lol I was like ***?
I suppose i'll revive this thread in saying that I went out with a woman again off POF. Despite all the stereotypes I remained optimistic the whole time, long story short after going out twice and what I thought was having a decent time it ended on the old "we would be better off friends" line. Thing is I actually had to call her out on it as like with women most times they will hide behind a line like that instead of just coming out and saying they're not interested. Happens all the time but I have no problem calling their bluff and it's always fun to see their face or response if there is one when you figure out their little games because most women cannot honestly handle when you be honest I have found.
It's just the nature of the beast on dating sites, ego boosts, sending hundreds of messages and getting few responses, free dinners and drinks...just got to play the game with a good poker face and holding all the cards. Just also remember there are more women out there and some that more worth your time...on to the next!
It's just the nature of the beast on dating sites, ego boosts, sending hundreds of messages and getting few responses, free dinners and drinks...just got to play the game with a good poker face and holding all the cards. Just also remember there are more women out there and some that more worth your time...on to the next!
I’ve had a few like that as well that use the “friends” line, and I’ve been known to call a few out on it. If that was what I wanted in the first place, then I wouldn’t have a problem with it. “Oh if this doesn’t work out then we’ll at least be friends”. Ah no. Granted, I am friends with a few women I have dated, some that I was even in a long term relationship with, but I just don’t need another one.
I went out on a date last week as well, someone I met off a site called “Sonoma County Dating”, even though it’s actually a nationwide site but can’t remember what the actual name of the site is. Anyway, she seems cool, almost a good girl type with a bit of edge. Going to take this one slow and easy, just let things develop rather than jump at the chance to get her in bed. She’s an elementary school teacher, and with school starting tomorrow here I knew she’s going to have little time to do anything for a couple of weeks (I once dated a teacher, mid-August into September was madness) so I told her “I would like to see you again, but I’m going to leave the ball in your court as to when that is”, and she responded very well to that. She’s keeping in touch daily, so that’s a good sign.
Looks like she judged well :-\
You didn't call her out on anything. She had already said she was not interested. Politely but clearly.
What you did was just... being a bit of a di*k, by the sounds of it, and there is no need for that.
Ummm no, I actually kept myself from being lead on and going on anymore dates where I would of just been throwing away money and time because she had no interest but played it to get stuff. I left a lot out otherwise I would still be typing a play by play of the dates. Point I was making is women typically never have the heart or whatever to come out and say they are not really interested....you are suppose to just know or do what I did and simply get answers for yourself. I am one of the nicest guys anyone will meet however I am very honest and no doormat when it comes to things like this. You know that sucky line and it shouldn't be but it is "nice guys finish last."
I thought you said she had already told you the "let's be friends" line. That's saying she is not interested in going further.
If I misunderstood I apologise, because that's what I was going by.
I think going on "dates" looking for the ultimate goal is likely to backfire. Maybe it's just me, because we all work in slightly different ways depending on our background and experiences... but I look (or try to focus on looking) at a new girl I just met like a potential friend. Essentially, I would meet, go places etc, simply as a friend, if I like them as a person, their company. If we seem to click then we would naturally spend more time together which may lead to something. Or not. But it takes time to know someone before I consider them as a potential partner. If you're impatient, the vibe will likely put the other person off.
I went on a few "dates" from joining a site a few years ago, about 4 months after I broke up with my crazy ex (good riddance!)...
Two were pretty cool. One in particular we share a lot of interests (she is a drummer), and we had a thing, didn't work, but we're now close friends and see her regularly. The other one also became a friend and we're not so close but we meet sometimes. The rest I contacted through the site... a large proportion were what I would call "impatient". They wanted a mate and wanted it yesterday, and I felt they were ticking boxes and calculating probabilities instead of relaxing and being themselves and exploring getting to find out about a new person: so many non-repeats, mostly with my having to say "sorry, no".
Some were obvious before we even met in person.
My girlfriend now is someone I met after one of my gigs. She was a friend of a friend who met me for the aftergig drinks... I kept bumping into her for a couple of months, and we became friends. Then that led to us realising we really liked eachother.
I don't get the "waste of money", comments. We *both* spent money in the process. I probably spent more because I earn more, that's all. I do not divide the cost... I may invite her to something, and she might invite me to another, or not, who cares. We spent money doing things we enjoyed... it was never an "investment". Had we not ended up together, the money would not have been wasted: we went out and had a good time, we went to gigs, had dinner, cinema, you name it, all things I would have done anyway.
Many things don't have to cost much money, like going on a bike ride and taking food with you for a picnic... and it's great, so if you're not in a good financial position, that's not a reason to not succeed. Not every woman is a gold digger, you know? Most are just... people. Like I am people. We just have different "interesting bits" ;-) and hormones and a few other differences, but at the core we're not that different.
It takes time, I think.
If you're in a hurry, you are cutting your chances considerably, I think. And if you count your pennies thinking of your expenses as an investment... I just don't know.
She did tell me that only after I basically questioned if she was even that interested. The main thing that I did not include before in my post before because I did not want to type out a play by play to a T because that would of took a while was that while we were out she always seemed like she was more interested in what her friends were doing then what we were doing or our time when we were out. She bailed on some plans we had the night before because she claimed her friend was going through some tough times, however told me she hung out with her friends the night before...I have no problem with her hanging with her friends by any means however it was strange to me she bailed on me to spend time with her friend in trouble but not on her other friends the night before to spend that time with her friends. When we went out last Saturday about her friend she did not really seem to know much about what was going on with her friend exactly. I did not ask to get all the juicy details but merely to express concern and interest. We then saw a movie and immediately after she got on her phone and when I asked what she wanted to do now because it was only like two in the afternoon she said she has to go watch her friend play softball...so I asked where he plays because I play on a softball league too. She again did not seem to know much about it and even said she didn't know. It was weird again to me she's going to watch but does not know where or when. Basically I kind of looked at it as another bail of spending time with me to go hang with her friends. When I dropped her off before I really even had a chance to say goodbye or get out to walk with her to her door she got out of my truck said it was fun and started walking up the sidewalk to her house. I simply just shook my head and left at that point. After all that I questioned if she was even interested and how it seemed to me she was more interested in what her friends where doing then trying to get to know me. Then and only then once I shot myself in the foot did she then woman up and say she thought we would be better as friends which I expected so it did not really hit that hard.
True, you have to spend money and time however when things don't work out you kind of wish you had all that back. The way I see it is early on I'll pay first mainly because in all my instances of meeting women I have always had to ask them to go out so it was my idea. I feel by the second or third date especially if it's their idea it is ok for them to pay. Women are more capable this day in age so I say let them be. I honestly think around my area there is something in the water as many of the women I have come in contact with in my late 20's age group seem to have the same attitude and vibe to them. Not only I but my friends have noticed it too and we are all different in our approaches and how we handle this dating and relationship thing. The way I see it is most women do not seem to "get it" until they are the "35, single still but with two kids" types and full of drama and regrets.
I understand that. I would honestly love to just meet some of the women you mentioned before that approached you and were fast with you....that does not seem to happen to often so bravo to you. I was just simply sharing my experiences. Hell I typically have not made it past a third or fourth date recently....I know I am no saint or genius or always know what to say or do to be Mr. Romance however I also know it cannot always be my problem why things do seem to play out for the better all the time.
Don't be a misogynist, just calm down.
Hey, I tickle girls for fun. And some end up staying for a while...
Yes but not all women wake up at 35 with two kids. For me I just stopped looking at white chicks. The world opened up.
Very true, it was a joke but there is some truth to that of course. I have opened my eye's to more then just white women too, I guess you can say there may just be something about white women then?
I used to be pretty racially vanilla but I find Asians just want Asians, Hispanic I don't care, and there's more black girls who like white guys lately, and I went with that.
Edit: I feel maybe I didn't elaborate....white girls prettymuch just come off shrewder, and more paranoid (in the "everyone's out to **** me" sense). Way too reserved.
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