Do you fart a lot when you play?

[tlc1976]

I am a multi-instrumentalist (with bass being my go-to and most proficient). I find that it may be appropriate in certain situations. See if I'm playing guitar, the shrill 100w of Fender Reverb covers up any gas I may expel. If I'm on organ, it is a certain no-go as the fart will "pop" against my vinyl covered throne I'm sitting on. On bass, one has to be extra careful. Wait until you play higher notes as to playing lower notes before you expel...trust me. Ever heard of "Brown Noise"?

Sounds like "Brown's Gas" which pops as small pockets of it ignite.

Girl farts are disgusting, people have died.....

My ex used to have totally noxious farts, one right after the other, especially after bean burritos at Taco Bell. I shared her amusement as long as I could open the windows. Wasn't bad anymore after she got her gall bladder out.

For me, depends on the cycle. Nothing's ever worked right, so nothing really happens for days or a week, then it all comes out at once. If it's near the end of the cycle, one little slip can clear a room with something that smells like roadkill, plus gotta avoid the shart. So in that case, nope. But any other time, might as well.

 

[Joe Nerve]

I almost got thrown out of a band for farting too much on tour, and on stage. It was bad. Real bad. I wanted to throw me out of the band.

I found out a couple of years later it was protein bars I was eating. I cut them out, and I turned back into a normal human being. I really thought I had something seriously wrong with me for a while.

I only fart occasionally on stage now, and they're usually not deadly. I aim them at my drummer, just in case they are though.

 

[iammr2]

I almost got thrown out of a band for farting too much on tour, and on stage. It was bad. Real bad. I wanted to throw me out of the band.

I found out a couple of years later it was protein bars I was eating. I cut them out, and I turned back into a normal human being. I really thought I had something seriously wrong with me for a while.

I only fart occasionally on stage now, and they're usually not deadly. I aim them at my drummer, just in case they are though.

What kind of protein bars and where can I get them?

 

[Joe Nerve]

What kind of protein bars and where can I get them?

LOL

Here ya go:

Good luck!

You can get them pretty much anywhere.

 

[Marley's Ghost]

I'm always careful about what and how and when I eat before a show. So never happens.

 

[Michedelic]

Only when we use a fog machine. There's some bass fuzzes that will cover up the sound.

 

[micbass]

Breathe deep, the gathering gloom. Watch lights fade from every room.

 

[Obe]

OK. That's it. We've completely run out of topics on TB!

Weren't there entire threads dedicated to farting on stage?

 

[Obe]

This works well when the drummer has a reputation for gas that permeates van sheet metal.

 

[mrjim123]

There have been at least a few threads dedicated to farting on stage. When one runs out of gas a new one eventually pops up.

 

[Gringo Basso]

I played with a drummer back in the 80's in L.A. who was the King of Flatulence, but a great drummer. He could empty The Colosseum, and would sneak out SBD's while on tour in our van. We would conspire to give him payback onstage, since he couldn't get up mid-song, but that was only in theory. Trying to rip something deadly during a show is extremely difficult, and with all of our conspiring, we were never able to get the bastard! What a ridiculous topic!

 

[sharkbait130]

I will be playing this Friday night. I have had the flu for the last two days. Farting this weekend will be a bad bad idea.

 

[belamored]

I know this is a crass immature sophomoric subject for an mature gentleman like myself but, I've noticed lately that I get gas when I start playing. Is it nerves? I usually stand next to the drummer so he gets the blame, but lately it's been getting pretty toxic on stage. Does this happen to you?

Only when playing a set of GG Allin covers.

 

[ubersku]

Yup, I do! It's fine though. Mine smell like roses! Luckily, the drummer farts more, especially during rehearsal. And he doesn't hide it. No on can say much, cuz they all fart, too, just not a often. Pressure's off now.

 

[7615]

Do you drink beer at the night clubs?
Do fart into the mike? And if so in time and in key? If so that's an act - and I'd say drink more beer.

 

[michla]

that's your WHOLE BODY trying to "get in the groove" !

 

[oysteivi]

Serious answer in a joke thread, but if I get a nervous stomach before a show, I always find that a good pre show poop does the trick. Also, after years of IBD I've learned not to fart unless I'm on the toilet, cause I can never be quite sure it's just gas.

Luckily, I usually don't get stage fright anymore. I usually take the job of calming down the singer before a show.

 

[Dan Knowlton]

I never fart.

Women don't fart either - they just hold it in and it comes out as drama!

Not original to me, but surely one of life's great truths!

Dan

 

[michla]

Women don't fart either - they just hold it in and it comes out as drama!

Not original to me, but surely one of life's great truths!

Dan

thats why men squeeze them, right?---- to help get it out

 

[bassdude51]

Do you fart a lot when you play? Yeah I do. Especially when the song calls for a "horn".