Drama

[Joe Nerve]

I'm thankfully, finally, I think for the first time ever - in a band where there's little to no drama. My belief is the reason for that is that we're all mature adults who know how to communicate, but more importantly - we all have the same goal. To make money by playing music. My experience tells me that one person with even a slightly different goal than the rest is the fuse that will ignite it all. Throw a guy into my band who wants to play for fun instead, and well... there ya have it.

What I've also noticed is this:

1. The people who say they hate drama are the ones we must be the most cautious of.

2. Saying, "I won't deal with any drama," translates as, "You are all going to agree with me, or there will be drama."

And I think that about sums it up .

What are your thoughts and experiences regarding DRAMA in bands?

 

[Oddly]

I think you got lucky!
And also, and meaning no disrespect at all (you know I think highly of you), you probably grew up.

 

[ArtechnikA]

1. The people who say they hate drama are the ones we must be the most cautious of.
2. Saying, "I won't deal with any drama," translates as, "You are all going to agree with me, or there will be drama."

My experiences, limited as they are, exactly.
Conflict happens; drama is avoidable.

 

[tpa]

Sounds nice. Does your band include singer(s) and guitar players

 

[buldog5151bass]

I let it pass over my head, and try to ignore it. I'm there to play music.

 

[JRA]

What are your thoughts and experiences regarding DRAMA in bands?

my thoughts: 'drama generators' are folks who have a need for something that the music business is ill-equipped to supply...it's a bad (unproductive) match! i think they die young or they get left behind...they don't last!

IME: i've been lucky to work with cats whose mission has always been 'the music' (and the reward from it, e.g., money). if the music is 'the only thing that really counts' = hard to conjure "drama."

i managed a girl group once: they were young and had a certain 'flair' for occasional 'dramatic moments' but they always recouped and were ready to perform their business when called upon. i also managed a family/siblings music group: lots of family "drama" but i was in the 'objective' role, so it was mostly entertaining for me...with lots of 'problem-solving' together. when i operated a recording studio i'd see some bands go through their "drama" episodes, but i didn't complain --- we charged by the hour!

 

[foolforthecity]

I'm thankfully, finally, I think for the first time ever - in a band where there's little to no drama. My belief is the reason for that is that we're all mature adults who know how to communicate, but more importantly - we all have the same goal. To make money by playing music. My experience tells me that one person with even a slightly different goal than the rest is the fuse that will ignite it all. Throw a guy into my band who wants to play for fun instead, and well... there ya have it.

What I've also noticed is this:

1. The people who say they hate drama are the ones we must be the most cautious of.

2. Saying, "I won't deal with any drama," translates as, "You are all going to agree with me, or there will be drama."

And I think that about sums it up .

What are your thoughts and experiences regarding DRAMA in bands?

Joe, I’m in sync with everything you wrote, 100%. I too am lucky to be in my group. We arrive, do our thing, get paid, and leave. No drama, usually upbeat.

 

[Phaenomenal]

Bands that consistently have drama are bands I tend to escape asap (and all those were in the 90's). All bands are going to have at least minor blowups between personalities on occassion, and unless asked for my brutally honest opinion, I tend to let them work it out. In the last 15 years with three bands, one firing and a handful of minor blowups.
Before you think "wow, how lucky is she?", my day job has a ridiculous amount of drama to navigate from both staff and the public. It's not something I would tolerate from the musical side of life, but this job does have a couple of upsides that (sometimes barely) make the job worth keeping.

 

[DirtDog]

Humans = drama.

Now, you can't control if and when the drama happens, but you sure can choose your reaction to it!

 

[EdwardofHuncote]

Been in one for about 4 years now. Great, idnit?

On the other hand, the Bandleader showed up for a gig last night dressed as Buzz Lightyear. I guess since it was a Halloween Party, we could let that slide...

 

[Killing Floor]

Agree with your 1 and 2.
Also let's just say having dating/married members is a complicated recipe. Anything at all goes against one of them it goes against both of them, nearly impossible to negotiate any issue unless they are both 100% on board.
If you look at it like a business opportunity and everyone is on board it's amazing how easy it is to reduce drama. Even if it's not a business but more of a hobby it still holds.
And call me out for being "that guy" but if you grow up playing a team sport the lesson translates so easily into a band or a workplace. I've got my brothers and my brothers got me. Dorky? Sure. True? Absolutely.
If you play bass in a band and you want some common goal (money, following, downloads, fame, wear tight pants, any common goal) and every member has bought into the truth that either all of you succeed or none of you do, it's amazing how much easier it is to make decisions.

 

[Valvehead]

Drama killed half the bands I have been in so far. Usually it comes from either the guitarist, vocalist or both.
Especially when there's a husband/wife or brother/sister duo in there - expect HORROR.

The reason is always the same. Narcissism. All through the day I me mine I me mine I me mine.
... And the "hey I do not want to complain or anything but blah blah blah" they give you makes me want to break stuff by now.

 

[dalkowski]

I've dodged the drama bullet.

The "I just don't really like that guy all that much outside of rehearsals/gigs but he's good at what he does and there's no alternative" bullet, not so much.

 

[GretschWretch]

Whenever the BL insists we play "Mustang Sally" or "Brown-eyed Girl," the drama I think of is from the Scottish play: life is a tale told by an idiot; a lot of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

It seems to me that the healthiest bands are those who make money having fun. To put all the eggs in the money basket appears to me to be an invitation to become the Ramones.

 

[gustobassman]

I endured two runs with a band that had two brothers that hated each other. Like bad. Main dude was singer/songwriter. Younger brother came on after a few years as drummer first and then switched to guitar as that was his main deal. He insisted on playing things his way, screw "norms", and they would fight a lot.

Last gig we did was 2018/2019 NYE and dude - mid set - decided to sit down onstage and face away from the crowd. On NYE. In a packed house. Uptempo music. I never spoke to him after that. His brother (the singer/BL) and him got in a massive fight which resulted in blood, no more communication between the two and the younger one deleting all of the current recording sessions and wiped out their Soundcloud and YouTube. They had been around over 15 years. The younger bro destroyed/deleted a ton of material.

That's only one band. My "band drama" stories would blow your mind.

 

[Seashore]

I think I managed to land well after leaving Brooklyn. Both of the bands I play with now are pretty chill on a personal level and we're all on the same page with our goals: writing stuff that pushes us, being as creative as possible, and doing our part remotely for now. TBH the only drama I could see arising out of the current situation is someone quitting out of frustration with the lack of activity, but that's not likely, both of these groups were together for years before I came along and I'm not going anywhere.

One of my old drummers was a bit of a drama queen - problematic blackout drunk with a weird inferiority complex and a constant need for validation. That manifested more in personal interactions than it did when it was time to play, but it wasn't the greatest recipe overall. The band was a huge source of stress for me over the years we played together and the experience had seemingly contradictory effects on me - it made it easier to put personal stuff like that aside, but at the same time it made me a lot less likely to be willing to go through it in the first place.

There were a couple other instances of drama here and there, a couple negative experiences, but I wouldn't trade them - I learned about what I want in a band member, and how to do the best I could to be that kind of player too.

 

[nilorius]

Do You exactly know what is DRAMA ???

 

[Ellery]

I'm thankfully, finally, I think for the first time ever - in a band where there's little to no drama. My belief is the reason for that is that we're all mature adults who know how to communicate, but more importantly - we all have the same goal. To make money by playing music. My experience tells me that one person with even a slightly different goal than the rest is the fuse that will ignite it all. Throw a guy into my band who wants to play for fun instead, and well... there ya have it.

What I've also noticed is this:

1. The people who say they hate drama are the ones we must be the most cautious of.

2. Saying, "I won't deal with any drama," translates as, "You are all going to agree with me, or there will be drama."

And I think that about sums it up .

What are your thoughts and experiences regarding DRAMA in bands?

I think you're kidding yourself, Joe. You should have joined TELL when you had the chance!

 

[tzohn]

 

[Kerplunk]

Not sure Joe? You think? Hmmm, little to no drama. So there is a little drama. Drama that you aren't too concerned about or willing to let slide perhaps. Perhaps due to your belief. Maybe you are happy. You are a positive person. You want it to be so. I hope your positivity infects the whole band and you are all able to support each other.

Regardless of how long you have been in this band. It could be the honeymoon period. Communication is one element. We are three dimensional. There isn't two sides to a coin. There are three. People either forget or omit the edge.

Life gets in the way. Whilst the band is everyone's priority, it's good, it's preserved. Time moves forward and takes us along differing paths and things change. Chain reaction.