Drummers - ugh

[Jon McBass]

Not even touching the "cookout" BS, if I'm playing with that dude he is fired. You can blow out of gigs with that little notice if a close family member dies and that's pretty much it.

Or a life-or-death medical emergency. The only gig I ever canceled on was when I had a red line rapidly going up my arm from a dog bite infection in my hand. I had a lucrative gig on a party cruise out of Boston harbor and figured I’d go to the doctor the next day. My wife prevailed on me to not be stupid. I was able to get a sub. The doc said it was the right decision.

 

[Jon McBass]

I would replace him. Seriously, "too hot" give me a break.

Worse: He lied. Any trust is shot. I just have zero tolerance for lying, especially in a professional context. To me it would have been a whole different matter if he had just told the truth, that for whatever reason important to him he needed to bow out that day and attend this social function. That would suck, but you could work with it and it would be more respectful of the band and your relationships. Argh.

 

[Jon McBass]

I voted to give him another chance, but I'd do so on the condition that he apologizes and that he's honest with you in the future when he's made a mistake. The most disappointing thing is that he couldn't tell you about the schedule conflict up front, apologize, try to find a sub, or whatever.

A 4 piece band I was in back-in-the-day had our lead guitarist bail on a fairly big (for us) booking with similar short notice. He had forgotten that his wife was graduating from professional school that Saturday, and he wrote "I have chosen to remain married, so I must miss our gig" in an apologetic email. We scrambled, found a sub, and stumbled through. No one was happy about it, but I appreciated his honesty and also had goosebumps of the there-but-by-the-grace-of-Google-Calendar-go-I variety. Mistakes happen, life happens, but the adult thing to do is to own it when you screw up, apologize, and try not to do that again.

Maybe this will be an opportunity to build a better working relationship with your drummer... and/or find a solid backup drummer ... or find someone new who is more reliable. Good luck!

Honesty makes all the difference.

 

[Eminor3rd]

FTD

 

[GTx2]

3:1 pro-FTD.............it is what it is.

 

[39-Bassist]

Sit down as a band and go over ANY issues, then come to an agreement about how to proceed.
DON'T let it go past this, you want to make sure EVERYONE is on same page. This helps to keep all band members understand what is acceptable and what is not.

 

[tedious1]

FTD. Whether or not the F is for "fire" is up to you. (It's not when I say it in MY head.)

I avoid thinking what's in your head, I have it on good authority that our drummer just lays there...

 

[LBS-bass]

No question on this one. Someone who lies to me to get out of gigs because they'd like to do something else that came up gets shown the door. Won't be the last time so you now know that you cannot depend on him to honor commitments.

 

[LBS-bass]

Fire the kickboard and the drummer.

Or just kick the drummer.

 

[Yellow Bang66]

Dont fire him yet, wait until the next gig. Then, get there early, put the kick board and triangle in his area and tell him he can play that or go to another cookout.

What is it with primadonna drummers!?! AARRGHHH!
I would have blown my top!! a cook out! really!!, okay time to go. IHME, played with some horrible drummers, but the ones that think they're gods gift, and lie to the band, gotta go! intolerable. I don't get it.
I get they hate setting up/& transporting their gear, but that's your instrument."you knew the job was dangerous...." thats why i don't play electric tuba! flaking on gigs that have been on the books for months, because of a recent engagement! It reminds me of a guitarist who started to flake out of band practices be cause of a "new" girlfriend. and started to lie about it, to avoid any srutiny. FTFD!!

 

[arbiterusa]

I get they hate setting up/& transporting their gear

I'm a drummer as well, and the multiple trips to load in drums - bulky but light - is just as bad as the single trip to haul in my nice pretty 4x10, which is bulky and not light at all.

 

[james condino]

"It takes one hell of a drummer to sound better than no drummer at all..."

jazz legend Chet Baker

 

[FrenchBassQC]

Fire the kickboard and the drummer.

Fire the other couple...

 

[BLDavis]

Fire The Drummer is always the correct answer.
B.

 

[Blackjac97]

I think a warning shot over the bow is in order.

 

[Drang22]

IDK....have you considered that he may have been under considerable pressure from his better half to go to the cookout? Sounds like a wife thing to me- some leniency may be appropriate.

 

[nilorius]

No forgiveness to him. Immediately try to find a different change.

 

[lokikallas]

I think you mean ex-drummer.

 

[btmpancake]

I wouldn't fire him, but I would let him know we're looking for a good sub-like yesterday. Another way of handling this it is not say anything, bring your sub up to par then tell him he won't be needed at the next (good) gig because you want to try the sub in case he can't make anymore gigs (at the last minute). Of course he won't like it and he'll be shocked that you brought a guy onboard w/o him knowing but he'll either tighten-up or quit...yes I have been used as a pawn, whore, gunslinger to prove somebody's point.

 

[IamGroot]

You missed an excellent opportunity to audition a drummer sub.