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Dumb CL Ad's pt 5, Dumbester and Dumberest

#281
nojj said:
OH GOD OF BASS PLAYERS:

Dear God of Bass Players, I, a humble singer and guitar player, and my drummer compatriot, humbly beseech thee to send us a bass player, strong of wrist, fleet of finger, and wisened in the ways of rock and roll, particularly punk, post punk, and garage.

Would that this bass player be over the age of 21, so that we may drink ale together and perform at local taverns. May he or she be in possession of a vehicle with which to travel, and professional quality gear with which to produce tones most pleasing to the ear.

We ask that you grant us a battle-hardened bass player, possessing knowledge of scales, so that when I say "this song is in E-minor," he or she shall comprehend.

May he or she be a punctual bass player, and not a lay-about, a rogue, a ruffian or a villain. In John Entwhistle's name we pray.
Amen.
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PS, may he have a full bucket of axle grease, and know how to apply the lubricant liberally so that the Ox cart may roll effortlessly to the Fair.
 
#282
I can finally contribute: [Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

I go to church and play on the worship team, but this one is a bit screwy. Do tons of everyone else's work for no pay, and you may be pulled at any point with no support or commitment from the church.

Sounds great, guys!

--

Looking for worship minister (Kirtland)
Established church needs a worship leader/worship team to bring our worship music up to date. We are a group of 200 ,with a weekly attendance of 40.This is a volunteer position .You should have a desire for spreading God's love,and open to various beliefs (we believe the message of Salvation overcomes other differences ). All are welcome !This is a large job with no pay,constant work,and will take a special person .So please pray before you reply.
Tasks:
•work with pastor and creative team in planning worship services
•recruit and lead worship band and singers
•prepare music -- charts, recordings, etc. for band and singers
•rehearse band and singers
•prepare song slides for worship service
•play or sing in worship band
You may be asked to fill this position on a temp. basis . This will allow you to show your commitment to the project .Thanks ,and God bless!
 
#284
nojj said:
OH GOD OF BASS PLAYERS:

Dear God of Bass Players, I, a humble singer and guitar player, and my drummer compatriot, humbly beseech thee to send us a bass player, strong of wrist, fleet of finger, and wisened in the ways of rock and roll, particularly punk, post punk, and garage.

Would that this bass player be over the age of 21, so that we may drink ale together and perform at local taverns. May he or she be in possession of a vehicle with which to travel, and professional quality gear with which to produce tones most pleasing to the ear.

We ask that you grant us a battle-hardened bass player, possessing knowledge of scales, so that when I say "this song is in E-minor," he or she shall comprehend.

May he or she be a punctual bass player, and not a lay-about, a rogue, a ruffian or a villain. In John Entwhistle's name we pray.
Amen.
Click to expand...

Amazing!
 
#285
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

bastard still looking for musicians to do my bidding (hardy)

Hey, craigslist. its me again, and im serious this time...... so shut the hell up, i need this place like i need a shotgun blast to the face. i need musicians who be doin what i tell them be doin. if youre not bothered by being bossed around by a big man with a little man complex then this is your chance to make a few bucks in a ****** bar band in tribute to my ego. I play whatever you hate to play that i think a crowd will like, and will randomly insult you over the PA system.
 
#290
Wow!

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
Tired of following the footsteps of successfull bands ? (HERE ! NOW !)
You know what never mind .....I must be crazy thinking i could ever find a musician in this town that actually would want to be praised or looked up to ! You only have one life and you've wasted most of it already or else you wouldn't be here reading this ad . Not trying to be a dic* but just the truth . How will you ever know that you could make it if you can't even get past the petty BS someone else is too immature to notice . You put up with it at your $hitty day job but not in your own band . Wow blows my mind every time i think about it . Pull your head out of your a$$ grow up and let's make something happen ! It's right there in your hands . You just have to do it !!!!! If you think you got what it takes to make this band a leader and not a follower then by all means reply . Just need a drummer and bass player that can sing and harmonize . That's it . You can work your $hitty job the rest of your life or you can do what you love to do for the remainder of your life . This ad is for DOERS ONLY . No ti**y baby's , crybaby's , pu$$y's that need their own bed and bathroom . The only reason you haven't made is cause you are a ti**y baby , crybaby , homesick pu$$y . Thanks for reading oh p.s. Flag if you're a flake !!!! Reply if you're a winner !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
#291
jazzbill said:
Wow!

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
Tired of following the footsteps of successfull bands ? (HERE ! NOW !)
You know what never mind .....I must be crazy thinking i could ever find a musician in this town that actually would want to be praised or looked up to ! You only have one life and you've wasted most of it already or else you wouldn't be here reading this ad . Not trying to be a dic* but just the truth . How will you ever know that you could make it if you can't even get past the petty BS someone else is too immature to notice . You put up with it at your $hitty day job but not in your own band . Wow blows my mind every time i think about it . Pull your head out of your a$$ grow up and let's make something happen ! It's right there in your hands . You just have to do it !!!!! If you think you got what it takes to make this band a leader and not a follower then by all means reply . Just need a drummer and bass player that can sing and harmonize . That's it . You can work your $hitty job the rest of your life or you can do what you love to do for the remainder of your life . This ad is for DOERS ONLY . No ti**y baby's , crybaby's , pu$$y's that need their own bed and bathroom . The only reason you haven't made is cause you are a ti**y baby , crybaby , homesick pu$$y . Thanks for reading oh p.s. Flag if you're a flake !!!! Reply if you're a winner !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I'm sensing a need in the soft skills department. Literacy would be a good start. Parents may be of benefit as well...
 
#292
This person seems hard-up, so they may accept a lowball, in which case you'd get a great deal on that bass so long as the condition checks out. You may not be able to test the elecs out while it's wearing "Cat Gut strings", but at least it has "up graded P-Bass tuners" which are so much better than J-Bass tuners.

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Black Beauty Fender Jazz Bass: 2004 Made In Mexico, up graded P-Bass tuners, Cat Gut strings, this is an awesome Bass for all level players , asking 275.00 OBO! Must play to appreciate how sweet this Bass is, if you're looking for an awesome instrument for use as your every day Bass, this is for you! This is a great "working Axe" that you can bring to your gigs and jam sessions with-out worrying about your priceless USA Fender getting damaged or ripped off! Hurry, hurry deals like this don't come around every day, so make me an offer I can't refuse ;-)! Call me if you have any questions 619-347-5647 thank you!
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#294
OUCH!:eek::eek::eek:

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Samik Greg Bennett for sale, wanting 400 but will entertain other offers just nothing insulting please. Do not want to sale her, but an unfortunate accident has left me unable to play my guitar and unable to help pay bills. Just so you know this is not another sob story just to get you feeling bad hoping that you buy my guitar I have included a pic to show that yes random person reading this I cannot play anymore. It is an electric acoustic, sounds beautiful, and comes with stand. If interested please call XXX-XXXX or text. Please someone come take her off of my hands it is depressing looking at it. Please No E-MAILS please call XXX-XXX or text.
 
#297
Mike11121 said:
I
But I am worried about the broken jawn, though. It might be tough to source an original Aria jawn in good condition. Maybe I'd need to think hard about a completely new set of jawns? But a complete re-jawning might be a little too much for me to handle, and might effect the tone. What do you think? Anyone know of a really good re-jawnist? I heard Jaco once used a jawnless bass - can anyone confirm?

And what's the best jawn for metal anyway?
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HAHAHAHA this has be laughing out loud for real
 
#300
TNCreature said:
DOPEST FEMALE RAPPER IN PHILLY/BETTER THAN EMINEM (ALL PHILA.)

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

"Hello! My name is Gia Medley and I believe there is no female lyricist on the planet on my level. I need exposure and radio play NOW. Im ready to take over hip hop. Listen to these 2 freestyles and download my mixtape 100 Bars for free. You can find all my other videos on Youtube. Subscribe and like me on facebook!!"

Here is a small sample of her lyrics:
"Flows got em swimming
Choked in one sitting
Hoes got em knitting
Track suits when I'm sprinting
On the track like a villain
On a crack epidemic
Smack fools when I'm spitting
Like a roach full of venom
They approach me I'm hitting
People poke me I'm pooping
On their facebook
If they probe me I'm killing
I'm staged crook
In a robe like I'm chillin
I'm a stay shook
Feed I'm whole penicillin"
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I don't pretend to be a hardcore aficionado of hip-hop music, but even my square, white dude from the country sensibilities know that those lyrics are totally whack.

"Track suits when I'm sprinting. On the track like a villain. On a crack epidemic" indeed. :hmm:
 

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