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Dumb Craig's List Ads pt.4: Dumber and Dumbest
- Thread starter Thor
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jive1
Commercial User
I'm guessing he's in my area too. That's the same girl, and she was posting for a couple of days.
I just got over laughing at this one.
I always try to copy & paste a ad but there is no way I can clean it up and have anything left to read.
Caution teenage vulgar language
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
I always try to copy & paste a ad but there is no way I can clean it up and have anything left to read.
Caution teenage vulgar language
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
^First line was the best!
Nothing dumb here per se', I just really like this pic.
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Nothing dumb here per se', I just really like this pic.
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Just saw this and laughed out loud. Check out the pic! - [Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
P-bass w/ Hardshell case - $175 (Dayton)
Date: 2012-06-16, 10:48AM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
Just an extra bass I don't use anymore. Sounds and plays great, it has a flea like growl to it. Plain black and white pbass look, clean, a couple scratches on the back, no stickers or markings like a lot of pbasses you see on here. The case is TKG lightly used, good as the day I bought it. Not TOO firm on price, I need some cash, so the first reasonable offer takes it. Email me, or txt 937-xxx-xxxx no calls please, thank you.
P-bass w/ Hardshell case - $175 (Dayton)
Date: 2012-06-16, 10:48AM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
Just an extra bass I don't use anymore. Sounds and plays great, it has a flea like growl to it. Plain black and white pbass look, clean, a couple scratches on the back, no stickers or markings like a lot of pbasses you see on here. The case is TKG lightly used, good as the day I bought it. Not TOO firm on price, I need some cash, so the first reasonable offer takes it. Email me, or txt 937-xxx-xxxx no calls please, thank you.
It's a shame, I actually like the music a bit. It's not bad melodic death. Too bad it's so far away and the post reads like something the 17 year old prodigy guitarist I once worked with could have written.
Brilliant!
What the hey....
Bass Players!
Do people call you a quivering, unoriginal douche with little-to-no musical talent? If so, take a big step back and literally **** YOUR OWN FACE.
If, however, you are the kind of MOTIVATED and CREATIVE bassist who enjoys playing metal where every note is either brown, techy, or tasty, but ALWAYS engineered to rupture testicles like Godzilla on a bad PCP trip demolishing metaphoric ear-buildings by swinging your priapic, scaly reptile ****-truncheon through them with ferocity, you should reply to this.
But before this orgiastic riot of auditory pillaging can happen, you should have a car to get to practice. Please, PLEASE have a car. How can you lasciviously pound auditory glory-holes if you can't get to practice? Also, RENT for the practice space-cum-torture chamber will be required. I known I know, Baconlube is expensive and paying rent when you barely make anything playing shows sucks, but it's part of the deal.
You have pro gear, right? Of COURSE you do, because how the hell are you going to propulsively eject your musical Shame-Gravy all over the unbelievers if you don't have appropriate gear? You'll probably want a five-string, but hey, some mother****ers can implode nutsacks with four. If you don't have good gear then showing up for practice will be like the doubtlessly ironically-named William Hung going to a porn shoot and standing next to Ron Jeremy and Lexington Steele. Yeah, shameful. But you're serious, so this isn't a problem.
There are 12 nifty songs for you to waltz right into. When you're finished with your veggies, you get to move on to dessert, which in this metaphor means WRITING NEW MATERIAL. This won't be a nine-year-long wait to work on a new album; instead, you will be brought into the fold to take part in a musical gang bang of triumph and metal! Maybe if At The Gates and "Heartwork"-era Carcass went on a 90s death metal listening spree, then catapulted their wax tadpoles in a stunning DEATH BUKKAKE!!!!1!! all over Opeth's face, collected the drippings, and mixed them with the tot-mix of the Summer Slaughter lineup in a vulgar, metal milkshake to be incubated in the womb of Mother Earth before being shot out in a miles-high pillar of magma afterbirth and rage it would be similar to what will happen with this band. . . but we'll never know, as the true awesomeness of what was just described ruins panties and lives simply by being hypothesized.
Listen to the sample track. If you love it, cast in with the lot and be ready to cause hemorrhaging like the synced monthly flow of Lilith Fair. If not, thanks for your time and best luck to your face.
We're still finishing up putting together the band, (You're the last piece) so a name isn't yet decided. Come bearing ****nominal ideas.
Samples:
http://soundcloud.com/mattseely/mds-4
http://soundcloud.com/mattseely/mds-1
copied for Glen18inchspica
Before I educate you on how I CAN make YOUR band 100 times better... I want you to know how YOU should pay ME. CASH ONLY or I wont even tune up. I'm no stranger to craigslist I know you idiots can't ever find a decent bass player... well HERE I AM. RATES: Meeting me/interview/audition: $175 for 15 mins. Rehearsals $199/hr. Gigs: Club-$275/hr; Parties-$499/hr; Weddings-$1175/hr. I don't wear outfits, or dress blacks, I wear what makes me comfortable and if that doesn't do it for you then **** OFF. You don't deserve me. I've toured with them all as a bass tech: Eve 6, Third Eye Blind, Sister Hazel, Jesus Jones, Los Del Rio. I play mostly slap bass and would prefer bass solos on at least every other song on the album or in the set. No finger funk or picking ****. I can not only play bass in your band magnificently, sing, book the gigs, handle the money and tune your guitar because you don't know how to. I can also tune drums because most drummers are morons and have never heard of a drum key. I got no problem going up to the bar owner after the gig and telling him that if he doesn't pay us the rate, then things will get broken. I don't travel to go to rehearsals, you can come to my studio if you want me, trust me I'm worth it. I don't have transportation as my license has been revoked, so you need to provide me with transportation to every gig, I prefer you renting me a vehicle for every gig. I don't do weekend gigs, actually I will but whatever rates you see above: DOUBLE THEM FOR WEEKENDS/HOLIDAYS/MY BIRTHDAY. I don't transport my own gear so it better be at the gig when I show up. I will bring my bass but that's about it. Don't waste my time with start up bands, cover bands or garage bands like you see in Viagra commercials, I'm looking for somebody on the verge of stardom but needs that extra push of awesomeness to get them into STAR STATUS. Band must have major label record deal or highly regarded indie contract. I also write amazing ****, my girlfriend even said it's awesome and she hates everything. I'm probably too good for your band but will take a chance on the right person that is willing to give me the spotlight to take them to the next level.
Before I educate you on how I CAN make YOUR band 100 times better... I want you to know how YOU should pay ME. CASH ONLY or I wont even tune up. I'm no stranger to craigslist I know you idiots can't ever find a decent bass player... well HERE I AM. RATES: Meeting me/interview/audition: $175 for 15 mins. Rehearsals $199/hr. Gigs: Club-$275/hr; Parties-$499/hr; Weddings-$1175/hr. I don't wear outfits, or dress blacks, I wear what makes me comfortable and if that doesn't do it for you then **** OFF. You don't deserve me. I've toured with them all as a bass tech: Eve 6, Third Eye Blind, Sister Hazel, Jesus Jones, Los Del Rio. I play mostly slap bass and would prefer bass solos on at least every other song on the album or in the set. No finger funk or picking ****. I can not only play bass in your band magnificently, sing, book the gigs, handle the money and tune your guitar because you don't know how to. I can also tune drums because most drummers are morons and have never heard of a drum key. I got no problem going up to the bar owner after the gig and telling him that if he doesn't pay us the rate, then things will get broken. I don't travel to go to rehearsals, you can come to my studio if you want me, trust me I'm worth it. I don't have transportation as my license has been revoked, so you need to provide me with transportation to every gig, I prefer you renting me a vehicle for every gig. I don't do weekend gigs, actually I will but whatever rates you see above: DOUBLE THEM FOR WEEKENDS/HOLIDAYS/MY BIRTHDAY. I don't transport my own gear so it better be at the gig when I show up. I will bring my bass but that's about it. Don't waste my time with start up bands, cover bands or garage bands like you see in Viagra commercials, I'm looking for somebody on the verge of stardom but needs that extra push of awesomeness to get them into STAR STATUS. Band must have major label record deal or highly regarded indie contract. I also write amazing ****, my girlfriend even said it's awesome and she hates everything. I'm probably too good for your band but will take a chance on the right person that is willing to give me the spotlight to take them to the next level.
Anyone else notice that his eyes don't line up correctly? No wonder he has a skewed vision of his own sense of self...
I saw one of those on Seattle CL the other day, wonder what the angle is? Anybody know? I guess I'm not curious enough to respond and find out, though it would be funny to see if she wants to follow a geezer blues band!
It's most likely some male who wants to chop you into pieces and store them in their freezer. No gal that looks like that needs craigslist for action.
I am willing to be this was posted by his existing or previous band who are, possibly as a concession for dropping his clownass, trying to find him a new gig while being honest to any prospective takers.
I'm sorry but I have to SMH here. :scowl:
That bass is NOT a Fender, and at no time was it ever worth or did it ever sell for anything close to $695 USD. The seller is full of "it".
That bass is NOT a Fender, and at no time was it ever worth or did it ever sell for anything close to $695 USD. The seller is full of "it".
I'm not suggesting that it IS a Fender or that it's worth what he says it is...I'm just saying that, judging from the way the ad is written, he is trying to claim that at one point it was worth that amount.
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