Dumb Craig's List Ads thread

[TortillaChip520]

"Kamikaze" means "divine wind" and horns are wind instruments, so maybe he's just saying he needs a divinely good horn section.

i highly doubt that Mr. Glowjob put that much thought into it...

(you whore section)

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
AMPEG 4X10 BASS CABINET MINT! - $270 (SCOTTSDALE)

AMPEG BASS CABINET 15" SPEAKER, 8 OHM..MODEL BSE-115T. EXCELLENT CONDITION WITH LIGHT HOME USE. RUGGED MADE IN USA CONSTRUCTION. NOT LIKE THE INFERIOR CABINETS AMPEG IS HAVING MADE OVERSEAS NOW. 270$ OR BEST OFFER
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

 

[totallyfrozen]

I serioulsy LOL'd!

i have a fever... and only prescription is more KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION

 

[totallyfrozen]

I may move -

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

brass instrumentalist of any kind needed for band (visalia, ca)
Date: 2009-11-23, 5:45PM PST
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

WE ARE LOOKING FOR A TRUMPET PLAYER OR SOMEONE WHO HAS ACCESS TO ONE OR COULD STEAL ONE

ARE YOU A LITTLE BIT INSANE BUT NOT COMPLETELY?

DO YOU LIKE THE SOUND OF CHAINSAWS?
DO YOU LIKE TO **** TO THE SOUND OF CHAINSAWS?
ARE YOUAN UNDESCRIBABLY FEMINIST VEGAN ANARCHIST WITH TWO LEFT THUMBS?
DO YOU DREAM OF ELECTRIC SHEEP?
DO YOU DREAM OF BUTCHERING ELECTRIC SHEEP?
VIKINGS!!!
ARE YOU GODLIKE MUTE DEAF MILDLY ******** AND WEAR YOUR MOTHER’S LINGERIE FOR STRANGE MEN YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST ?
PLEASE DO YOUR MAD SCIENCE DANCE WITH THIS GLOWJOB ATE SOULS AND MADE A BAND BECAUSE WE LIKE MAN MAN SO MUCH THAT WE WANT TO CHOP OFF THEIR FINGERS AND RAPE THEIR RASPY THROATS!!

GLOWJOB GLOWJOB GLOWJOB
ALSO A HORN SECTION. YOU HORN SECTION. (YOU WHORE SECTION).
SLIT WRIST BOOGIE TO THE **** WAVE
HORN SECTION BRASS KNUCKLES
KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN
SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION KAMIKAZE HORN SECTION

love,
glowjob

Location: visalia, ca
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


PostingID: 1479743885

Seriously, I used to play with a drummer who talked like this. And guess what...he was a hardcore cocaine addict!

So I'm guessing the guy who posted this ad...(toot, toot)

 

[ilikethump]

I found this one amusing

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]


Play the synth??

F**KIT!! PLAY THE BASS!

Play a sax???

SCREW THAT SH*T, PLAY THE FRICKIN BASS!!

You a singer/songwriter/pianist???

NOOO MAAANNNN!!! PLAY THE DOG-DAMNED BASSS!!!!!!

So, Mr. bedroom shredder, live soloist guitar god, you love your craft eh???

PLAY THE DOG-DAMNED FRICKIN PISS-WHIPPIN BASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Shake em to the bone!!!

Communicate at the frequency of alpha-male elephants!!!!!!

Arm thyself with a array of powered subwoofers and unleash the juggernaut!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLAY THE FRICKIN BASSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...for us please.

Reading through the thread, I just wanted to say that this posting was awesome.

 

[kcamsdog1387]

Not totally dumb, but I mean how would you not know what "V" means: [Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Thunderbird Bass V (sunburst) - $250 (Hanover)
Date: 2009-12-06, 5:26PM EST

I believe it is a V but could be wrong. It is in amazing like new condition except for a small scratch on the corner of the back (unnoticeable). Asking 250/BO. (I am looking for a fender tele or strat, which i would be willing to trade toward). This is an epiphone

 

[JT Bass]

NYC CL. I couldn't tell you one song of theirs, but I've seen his name around TB enough to figure y'all'd get a kick out of this:

Bass Guitar Autographed by Pete Wentz - $400 (Bayside, NY)
Fender Squire Bass Guitar brand new still in the box

This guitar was personally autographed by Pete Wentz from the Fall Out Boys
here in Times Square.

Accepting all offers!

Will make a great Christmas Gift!!!!

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

 

[MonkeyBass]

NYC CL. I couldn't tell you one song of theirs, but I've seen his name around TB enough to figure y'all'd get a kick out of this:

Bass Guitar Autographed by Pete Wentz - $400 (Bayside, NY)
Fender Squire Bass Guitar brand new still in the box

This guitar was personally autographed by Pete Wentz from the Fall Out Boys
here in Times Square.

Accepting all offers!

Will make a great Christmas Gift!!!!

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Didn't somebody post a thread saying they sold Pete Wentz a bass at the Best Buy in Times Square? Same guy perhaps?

 

[pklima]

Found one that looks pretty bland until it gets to the end: "We don't have a drummer because we think he got locked up".

 

[gypsyboi4ever]

Band Needed to Play at Benefit 12/17/09 (Ashburn, VA)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2009-12-07, 2:17PM EST
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


We are looking for a band to play at a benefit on December 17 @ Finnegan's Bar & Grill in Ashburn, VA from about 10pm-12am. You will need to play for free but we are expecting 200+ attendees so it will be great exposure. More information on the cause can be found here: Invalid Link Removed.

Please email if you are interested and we can send more information.


Location: Ashburn, VA
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

 

[Steveaux]

Band Needed to Play at Benefit 12/17/09 (Ashburn, VA)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2009-12-07, 2:17PM EST
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


We are looking for a band to play at a benefit on December 17 @ Finnegan's Bar & Grill in Ashburn, VA from about 10pm-12am. You will need to play for free but we are expecting 200+ attendees so it will be great exposure. More information on the cause can be found here: Invalid Link Removed.

Please email if you are interested and we can send more information.


Location: Ashburn, VA
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

I guess I missed the joke.

I've played plenty of benefits, the last being a bike rally for Walter Reed.

If I were in that area, I'd offer my band's services to help out.

 

[Blackbird]

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

HEY WHATS UP MY NAME IS CHRIS, IM 19 AND I LIVE IN SOUTH SAN JOSE. IM LOOKING FOR MY OWN NAT LOL IF U KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT 3OH3 HE IS THE GUY WHO DOES THE BEATS. I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO ALL THAT STUFF SO THATS WHERE U COME IN, I DONT CARE WHAT U LOOK LIKE ALL I CARE ABOUT IS THAT U WANT TO BE IN THIS FOR THE LONG RUN,YEP THAT MEANS GO ON TOURS AND EVERYTHING ELSE. THIS IS THE REAL DEAL WE WILL HAVE OVER 50,000 FRIENDS BY THE END OF OUR FIRST YEAR AND I WOULD HOPE TO PLAY HUGE TOURS SUCH AS THE AP AND WARPED TOUR. IF U PLAY SOMETHING I ALSO MIGHT WANT U I THINK IT MIGHT BE COOL TO HAVE A DRUMMER,AND A FEW GUITAR PLAYERS. IF THIS SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING U WOULD BE DOWN FOR GIVE ME A CALL OR EMAIL ME AND WE CAN TALK MORE AND GET STARTED RIGHT AWAY. BTW THE BANDS NAME WILL BE "HELP ME HAILEY" CUZ I REALLY LIKE THAT NAME AND THINK IT FITS WITH THE POP/TECHNO/ROCK FEEL THAT IM GOING FOR HOPE TO HEAR FROM U SOON.
-CHRIS XXX XXX-XXXX or just email me

WHAT I WANT FROM U
BE SERIOUS
BE AROUND MY AGE A LITTLE OLDER IS FINE
BE READY TO RECORD AND DO SHOWS/TOURS
LIVE IN SAN JOSE OR BE WILLING TO TRAVEL

WHAT I WANT US TO SOUND LIKE-
3OH3
COBRA STARSHIP
LMFAO
METRO STATION
ALL TIME LOW
THE MAINE
BLINK 182

IF U PLAY BASS,DRUMS OR GUITAR I WOULD STILL LIKE TO TALK TO U AND TRY TO MAKE THIS A FULL BAND

 

[caeman]

I might respond just to find out the postal address so I send the boy a new keyboard. His capslock and punctuation keys appear to be broken.

 

[rosanne]

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Tried to cut and paste this but it didn't work.

I think this guy is seriously mental.

 

[jaibot]

i'm a Dame-Good Vocalist who's just in the beginning stage's of forming a Band at the place I work the Revolution CAFE' on 7th Street in West Oakland. This will be a group that do the popular Rock songs of the American TOP 40 with the new Indie/Rock pieces there main attraction & there stuff they perform the Best & No-if-ands-or-but's about my goal with this BAND comprised of Professonal Music Entertainer's cause for one you'll have to be just to keep-up with me your Lead in every way. My Goal in life is to become a singing Leagend & I know the only way to reach that goal is having real Pro's in my new Band. Some of the Songs that are my Masterpieces are the one's done by: Daughtry, Greenday,David Cook,Nickleback & many done by other's like these from the slowest & mellowest to the most intence & loudest & when I start doing a new song it's allway's number one on the chart's. I don't tend to bother with anything else unless it's at or near the top of the chart's in popularity. It was Greenday's First Big Hit Walk Alone that allmost overnight turned me into a Musician on Fillmore blind to the world all that night till coming out of it around nine the next morning. This Cafe I work at is very special & like no place in the world with a Nice Living Room & a good portion of it's funiture are Musical Instament's of all sort's. You might-say it's a Musical Living Room that's very comfortable where you can just Relax, Play & have Fun. The owner's are two good friends who just love to run this place with one of them, Arnie Fields running for Mayor of the City of Oakland with myself as his P.R. Man. The Revolution Cafe' has an Outside porch that's enclosed and just Perfect for playing around with music and if you want to be a little more serious just go indoor's to the Musical Living Room & if you want pic an Instrament of you choice for more organized Fun. To contact me you can Call me at: (510) 575-8698 & if not there try my music newsletter, Neighborhood Newsletter/MUSIC SCENE #(510) 878-8491,It's email: [email protected] & website Link Removed So-Go to your Music Meeting & Call me, Charlie {Urban Cowboy} on Stage. I have the Ability to Lead this BAND to Stardom,Any-Qualified-Taker's?

 

[HailCorduroy]

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Tried to cut and paste this but it didn't work.

I think this guy is seriously mental.

I've always heard there's very good drugs in that area. Apparently, it's true.

 

[JMac- Wiskerface Designs]

i'm a Dame-Good Vocalist who's just in the beginning stage's of forming a Band at the place I work the Revolution CAFE' on 7th Street in West Oakland. This will be a group that do the popular Rock songs of the American TOP 40 with the new Indie/Rock pieces there main attraction & there stuff they perform the Best & No-if-ands-or-but's about my goal with this BAND comprised of Professonal Music Entertainer's cause for one you'll have to be just to keep-up with me your Lead in every way. My Goal in life is to become a singing Leagend & I know the only way to reach that goal is having real Pro's in my new Band. Some of the Songs that are my Masterpieces are the one's done by: Daughtry, Greenday,David Cook,Nickleback & many done by other's like these from the slowest & mellowest to the most intence & loudest & when I start doing a new song it's allway's number one on the chart's. I don't tend to bother with anything else unless it's at or near the top of the chart's in popularity. It was Greenday's First Big Hit Walk Alone that allmost overnight turned me into a Musician on Fillmore blind to the world all that night till coming out of it around nine the next morning. This Cafe I work at is very special & like no place in the world with a Nice Living Room & a good portion of it's funiture are Musical Instament's of all sort's. You might-say it's a Musical Living Room that's very comfortable where you can just Relax, Play & have Fun. The owner's are two good friends who just love to run this place with one of them, Arnie Fields running for Mayor of the City of Oakland with myself as his P.R. Man. The Revolution Cafe' has an Outside porch that's enclosed and just Perfect for playing around with music and if you want to be a little more serious just go indoor's to the Musical Living Room & if you want pic an Instrament of you choice for more organized Fun. To contact me you can Call me at: (510) 575-8698 & if not there try my music newsletter, Neighborhood Newsletter/MUSIC SCENE #(510) 878-8491,It's email: [email protected] & website Link Removed So-Go to your Music Meeting & Call me, Charlie {Urban Cowboy} on Stage. I have the Ability to Lead this BAND to Stardom,Any-Qualified-Taker's?

Just reading these mumblings hurt my eyes. It is like a giant one sentence paragaph.

 

[rosanne]

I've always heard there's very good drugs in that area. Apparently, it's true.

Wonder how many days he's gone without sleep?

 

[totallyfrozen]

HEY WHATS UP MY NAME IS CHRIS, IM 19 AND I LIVE IN SOUTH SAN JOSE. IM LOOKING FOR MY OWN NAT LOL IF U KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT 3OH3 HE IS THE GUY WHO DOES THE BEATS. I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO ALL THAT STUFF SO THATS WHERE U COME IN, I DONT CARE WHAT U LOOK LIKE ALL I CARE ABOUT IS THAT U WANT TO BE IN THIS FOR THE LONG RUN,YEP THAT MEANS GO ON TOURS AND EVERYTHING ELSE. THIS IS THE REAL DEAL WE WILL HAVE OVER 50,000 FRIENDS BY THE END OF OUR FIRST YEAR AND I WOULD HOPE TO PLAY HUGE TOURS SUCH AS THE AP AND WARPED TOUR. IF U PLAY SOMETHING I ALSO MIGHT WANT U I THINK IT MIGHT BE COOL TO HAVE A DRUMMER,AND A FEW GUITAR PLAYERS. IF THIS SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING U WOULD BE DOWN FOR GIVE ME A CALL OR EMAIL ME AND WE CAN TALK MORE AND GET STARTED RIGHT AWAY. BTW THE BANDS NAME WILL BE "HELP ME HAILEY" CUZ I REALLY LIKE THAT NAME AND THINK IT FITS WITH THE POP/TECHNO/ROCK FEEL THAT IM GOING FOR HOPE TO HEAR FROM U SOON.
-CHRIS XXX XXX-XXXX or just email me

WHAT I WANT FROM U
BE SERIOUS
BE AROUND MY AGE A LITTLE OLDER IS FINE
BE READY TO RECORD AND DO SHOWS/TOURS
LIVE IN SAN JOSE OR BE WILLING TO TRAVEL

WHAT I WANT US TO SOUND LIKE-
3OH3
COBRA STARSHIP
LMFAO
METRO STATION
ALL TIME LOW
THE MAINE
BLINK 182

IF U PLAY BASS,DRUMS OR GUITAR I WOULD STILL LIKE TO TALK TO U AND TRY TO MAKE THIS A FULL BAND

Just another silly kid with a dream. You can spot 'em a mile away. Boy, he sure is going to be disappointed. Reminds me of when I just graduted highschool. Me and a few friends were just like this. All sorts of ideas of what *I* wanted and no thought about what other people might want to contribute or not. Meh, it never goes anywhere. Hope that kid keeps his job and enrolls in college.

 

[conebeckham]

did anyone besides me check out this website?

It's email: [email protected] & website Link Removed So-Go to your Music Meeting & Call me, Charlie {Urban Cowboy} on Stage. I have the Ability to Lead this BAND to Stardom,Any-Qualified-Taker's?

Woah.

 

[rosanne]

did anyone besides me check out this website?


Woah.

Yep.