entitled band leaders?

[Sam Evans]

One of the great things about playing bass is that we're always in demand. One of the bad things about playing bass is that we're always in demand ... Have you ever had to deal with band leaders who act like they are entitled to your services simply because they "need" you to play bass? I find this sort of thing very annoying. Some examples, for humorous and/or eye-rolling purposes:

The music director of my college found out that I play bass years ago, and constantly tagged me to sub in for various groups that he directs. This included wanting me to sit in for his 3 credit jazz ensemble class, which felt like adding a whole other class to my own teaching schedule. It also included wanting me to sub at the last minute for community ensembles he runs, sometimes for unpaid gigs an hour away on a Sunday, when I'm busy with adulting or (god forbid) having a personal life. I eventually pushed back enough that he finally started looking elsewhere, but it took years of saying "no" before he finally got the hint.

In high school, a student who fancied himself Miles Davis wanted me to play in a quartet with him. Between saxophone and upright bass, I was already busy playing in five school ensembles, taking three different weekly lessons, and playing in an actively gigging punk rock band, not to mention the whole school and homework thing. After I told him no several times, I opened my locker one day, and a ton of small pieces of paper came spilling out. He had psychotically torn up photocopies of jazz charts and crammed them into my locker through the little air slots ...

How about you? Ever have to deal with this? Any fun / funny stories?

 

[3toes]

It's a fine balance when you're trying to get by (even partially) as a working bassist.

I get a fair amount of inquiries for hired-gun and sit-in work, and a lot of the time I have to decline because I'm a 9-to-5'er and the primary band I play with is gigging on average 2 times per week, and I'm playing most Sundays at church. On top of that there's the typical family stuff, work around the house, other hobbies, etc... It's definitely tough to fit in extra gigs.

But I make it a point to try and accept a few of those gigs from time to time because it keeps me and my name out there. Now, don't misconstrue that as me playing for "exposure," I still gots ta get paid...

But if you're always saying "no" to work, word will get around and eventually no one is gonna be asking.

 

[buldog5151bass]

The more you say "yes", the more you will get asked. The more you say "no", the less.

But nothing wrong with speaking to the director and seeting some guidelines for what gigs you might take, and which are a definite no.

 

[bassbrad]

My best story comes from a world tour I was doing in the late 80's. The musical director / band manager and tour manager did not like me as they had no word in hiring me for the gig, the Artist insisted I play bass on the tour. There was a long break when the entire touring company was flown to their various home towns for the Holidaze, except he had cancelled my travel arrangements, leaving me stranded in Nairobi for over 3 weeks. Luckily my contract paid my expenses and per diem every day I was not "home' so I still was being paid. I struck up a friendship with the concierge at the hotel who showed me around town and invited me to join his group of friends to climb Mt Kilimanjaro, which was an amazing experience almost worth not being home for the Holidaze, almost.

Upon the return of the touring company the Artist learned of my plight and was very angry with the pair and had them reimburse all my expenses out of their pockets instead of hers. Needless to say this did not decrease the tension between the three of us, but they learned their lesson not to mess with me again as we still had much of the world tour to complete.

 

[Sam Evans]

My best story comes from a world tour I was doing in the late 80's. The musical director / band manager and tour manager did not like me as they had no word in hiring me for the gig, the Artist insisted I play bass on the tour. There was a long break when the entire touring company was flown to their various home towns for the Holidaze, except he had cancelled my travel arrangements, leaving me stranded in Nairobi for over 3 weeks. Luckily my contract paid my expenses and per diem every day I was not "home' so I still was being paid. I struck up a friendship with the concierge at the hotel who showed me around town and invited me to join his group of friends to climb Mt Kilimanjaro, which was an amazing experience almost worth not being home for the Holidaze, almost.

Upon the return of the touring company the Artist learned of my plight and was very angry with the pair and had them reimburse all my expenses out of their pockets instead of hers. Needless to say this did not decrease the tension between the three of us, but they learned their lesson not to mess with me again as we still had much of the world tour to complete.

That's a good story!

 

[GreyBeard]

Time to learn how to say NO

 

[Core Creek]

I meet a lot of BLs who expect me to be their full time guy but then barely do any gigs. Or BLs that tell me what a gig pays and then mysteriously the gig pays less than I was told - typically bait and switch.

 

[nickpc]

Have you ever had to deal with band leaders who act like they are entitled to your services simply because they "need" you to play bass?

The story of just about every day at work. Ignore the processes we have in place to engage my team (3 of us, covering the world...), just dump invites on my calendar (at all hours of the day or night...weekends...) and then complain to my boss that I didn't show up (when I didn't accept the invite...).

The awesome thing is my boss LOVES getting those escalations!

I don't think this is isolated to BLs in any way.

 

[ELG60]

"No" remains a complete sentence.

 

[Spectre Gunner]

Like Nancy aways said "Just Say No".

But it was easy for Nancy to say that, since she never got asked.

 

[Killing Floor]

In my own experience anyone who tells me what to do but isn’t paying me is just some @ whole. Learn to tell the difference. “Do me a favor, NOW” isn’t a band leader. If you like the gig anyway, declare yourself band leader. People who take advantage like that generally don’t put up much resistance when you TELL them exactly how it’s gonna be from now on.

 

[Michael Stanley 2112]

One of the great things about playing bass is that we're always in demand. One of the bad things about playing bass is that we're always in demand ... Have you ever had to deal with band leaders who act like they are entitled to your services simply because they "need" you to play bass? I find this sort of thing very annoying. Some examples, for humorous and/or eye-rolling purposes: (SNIP) ... (/SNIP) How about you? Ever have to deal with this? Any fun / funny stories?

Constantly! Someone will contact me on my musical social media site and say something along the lines of...

Them: "I see you play the bass! We have a post-punk, new old wave, heavy blue grass (It's like metal, only better) band. We just lost our bass player and we have record company interest.

We practice on Thursdays and we can see you this Thursday. We have an open audition spot."

Me: "I'm sorry. It doesn't sound like something I'd be interested in."

Them: "But we NEED a bass player!"

Me: "Good luck!"

Them: "I don't need luck. I'm a professional and you're a [expletive deleted by poster]in' loser!"

 

[LBS-bass]

Well, there was the guy who called me up to tell me that I was going to get a call from a high-level pro band here who were about to lose their bassist. I figured he was feeling this out to see if I was going to be interested in that gig, and of course I was, but I didn't make a fuss over it because I don't like to get too excited about things that haven't happened yet.

A few weeks later that same BL showed me a video of some newcomer in town and told me he'd "solved his problem" with me potentially leaving his band by 1) letting that band leader know that their bassist was going to quit and 2) sending a recommendation for this other person that nobody knew anything about.

I didn't get really upset about any of this until they hired that person without auditioning anyone else. But I quit that BLs band the same day I found out, and gave him several pieces of my mind on the way out the door. I can't remember ever being that angry.

I guess he thought he was entitled to keep me in his own band by sticking a knife in my back? What the thought process was there, I can't fathom. Whatever happened to minding your own business? Not only did he stick a roadblock in front of me, he also outed the other bassist who hadn't announced his departure yet.

I was miserable in that band anyway. Some good players, but that BL was horribly disorganized and when I left it was like an enormous weight had been lifted from me.

As a postscript, the person he recommended didn't work out. And at this point there is not enough money in the world to get me to take that job even if it were offered to me. It was just bad juju from almost every angle, and I'd rather stay away from anyone who had anything to do with any of it.

 

[DWBass]

"No" remains a complete sentence.

This! I'm a master at saying no and meaning it.

I don't accept gigs unless I absolutely know the music. I'm sick of learning a crapload of music I never heard before. I stick to my wheelhouse. I get asked to do church stuff and when I tell them I don't do the church thing, they look at me funny!

 

[OllieVT]

Not my story, but I read a brutal one somewhere about BL/guitarist who negotiated $750 for a campground gig and unilaterally agreed to a $100 cut without consulting his bandmates. No written contract, Debbie and Alan playing them for fools, maybe it'll rain. Total nightmare.

 

[gln1955]

People can only take advantage of you if you let them. Like many things, tactfully saying no gets easier the more you do it.

 

[Michael Stanley 2112]

People can only take advantage of you if you let them. Like many things, tactfully saying no gets easier the more you do it.

I like how Vito Andolini (The Godfather) said it: "You have to make your 'No' sound like a 'Yes'."

 

[Killing Floor]

heavy blue grass (It's like metal, only better)

Curious to hear this. Like metal, only better is a very clever tag line

 

[u84six]

Being in a band in general is hardly worth it, never mind having to deal with some douchebag. It’s pretty easy to deal with bandleaders who try to make you think that you need them. I just say ‘no’ to the gigs until they realize that they need me. I play music for fun and stress reduction, not for the $100 for 4 hours of my time and having to listen to some bossy, self-absorbed asshat

 

[DaveParker39]

This used to happen a lot in my acoustic duo days in a guitarist. Since joining the band I'm in I don't get asked a lot. We're pretty tight/professional and it shows. I don't think any of us give the appearance of being hungry.

That said, there is a group of bands that have each other's numbers in case of emergency for filling in and such. Those of us who play the same circuits will help each other out if there is a need for a last minute replacement.