Mine unfortunately involved a relative. I was initially asked to lay down some bass tracks on an album of originals he wanted to record. I agreed because he's family and I love playing bass, and the time demand wasn't an issue. We started meeting once or twice a month to run through the songs, and were making great headway getting the tracks recorded. It slowly over time turned into a band, practice once a week from 6-9, and the intention of gigging regularly. I was going along with it, but then found out we were expecting our 4th child. I explained that I'll give as much time as possible until the baby gets here, but after that, I have to call it quits, at least for a few months. That was fine, we finished the album, played a few additional gigs, and then the baby was born. I called it quits, and he acted like he was blindsided and like we quit at the peak of our careers. We've spoken maybe 3 times since. Sad situation.
Enjoy the benefits of a premium membership!
Upgrade Account
-
TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
Join free Log in
Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.
entitled band leaders?
- Thread starter Sam Evans
- Start date
I don’t understand. It is supply and demand. You have something the band leader needs. You can say No or you can negotiate your terms. You should not be walked over or unhappy in your bands.
I used to get calls from some guy I didn’t know about every 2 or 3 years. Never found out how he got my#.
Always a variation on the same shpiel- out of state sub gig, overnight, no meals comped and no rehearsal beforehand. He only ever offered to pay a hundo(!) and acted like he was doing me a big favor by calling.
The last call he opened with, “Are you a GOOD bass player?” I literally laughed at him and said, “What?” He repeated himself, adamantly. I told him to lose my number and never call again.
Always a variation on the same shpiel- out of state sub gig, overnight, no meals comped and no rehearsal beforehand. He only ever offered to pay a hundo(!) and acted like he was doing me a big favor by calling.
The last call he opened with, “Are you a GOOD bass player?” I literally laughed at him and said, “What?” He repeated himself, adamantly. I told him to lose my number and never call again.
Yes, I dodged multiple bullets with this one and it ultimately worked out quite well.
I look at people through the lens of psychology these days. It will surprise you how many people walk around with undiagnosed issues. Narcissists in particular are problematic. Because most of them can't accept that there's something wrong with them. They don't seek treatment for it and it's always someone else's fault.
Does it count if it's someone trying to become a BL? My last guitarist is bad enough to work with that he's had several threads already. Here's some of his behaviour:
Selling a multi fx that I'd bought;
Pawning an amp that wasn't his;
Booking a gig but not telling the band about it for two months;
Doing jam nights by twiddling as fast as he can to someone else's songs and whilst they're singing. It's by luck if he's in the right key;
Posting videos of himself jamming to someone, again in the wrong key, to the wrong beat and at the wrong speed;
Getting angry when pulled up for unacceptable behaviour;
Posting a demo with songs that weren't the agreed demo songs. Instead of the two written and sung by him and two written and sung by me, he sent four of his and under his own name. The rest of us were named as 'also played';
Introducing me, one of the two lead singers and founding member of the band, as his bass player;
Doesn't 'want to learn open chords'. He left my band after I wrote a song with three chords that weren't barre chords and needed him to learn a simple scale shape. He wanted to play it two frets down from what the key needed and wanted to play only three of the notes - as fast as he could.
His videos don't seem to get comments any more, and he's wellknown for self-indulgent, off-key playing. I can't see any band with him in it getting far.
Selling a multi fx that I'd bought;
Pawning an amp that wasn't his;
Booking a gig but not telling the band about it for two months;
Doing jam nights by twiddling as fast as he can to someone else's songs and whilst they're singing. It's by luck if he's in the right key;
Posting videos of himself jamming to someone, again in the wrong key, to the wrong beat and at the wrong speed;
Getting angry when pulled up for unacceptable behaviour;
Posting a demo with songs that weren't the agreed demo songs. Instead of the two written and sung by him and two written and sung by me, he sent four of his and under his own name. The rest of us were named as 'also played';
Introducing me, one of the two lead singers and founding member of the band, as his bass player;
Doesn't 'want to learn open chords'. He left my band after I wrote a song with three chords that weren't barre chords and needed him to learn a simple scale shape. He wanted to play it two frets down from what the key needed and wanted to play only three of the notes - as fast as he could.
His videos don't seem to get comments any more, and he's wellknown for self-indulgent, off-key playing. I can't see any band with him in it getting far.
Last edited:
I’m not a great player, but sometimes it’s nice to know that there are guys like this out there— can’t play and have major issues.
At least I am a decent human being who brings no drama and no nonsense.
Neither do you twiddly twiddly as fast as you can after the songs ended or between songs, and tell the same soundman every week to make sure your twiddling is loud enough to be heard.I’m not a great player, but sometimes it’s nice to know that there are guys like this out there— can’t play and have major issues.
At least I am a decent human being who brings no drama and no nonsense.
BobDeRosa
Commercial User
- May 16, 2012
- 2,445
- 4,403
- Disclosures
- Owner, Tritone Jazz Fantasy Camps
It's amazing how many people, like your teacher friend, see the world only through their own needs and don't even consider yours.
Just remembered two:
Last spring I answered an ad on Craigslist needing a drummer. I replied with demo videos and he said he could tell I was a pro and offered two gigs - first was a private event for only $125. The second was a jazz gig and I haven’t played much jazz in years (studied it in school) and figured it’d be a good gig if I could record it and maybe get more jazz gigs down the road.
Well I get sent the song list and it’s pretty simple. There are a few songs I never heard before so I listen, do simple reminder charts the week of the gig and show up having never met the band or doing any rehearsals.
I get to the gig and everyone is nice. The BL has to be 70 or so and in pretty bad health. The bass player is apparently good friends with the BL and has a really nice 6 string bass (Roscoe maybe?). He’s not very friendly and I suspect he’s just a jazz snob looking down at me. I ask if I can set up my video camera and he hesitates but said yeah no problem.
When I first got there the BL tells me he might have another gig. But it’s 1.5 hours away, the pay is $125, and it’s a 5k race and I’d need to be there by 6:00am. I just met the guy so I tell him let me think about it.
I do the gig. Holly mackerel. Bassist can hardly play. BL sings horribly out of key (but is a decent enough guitar player). There are also two female background singers who are so nice but I could tell scared to be friendly - I realize now they know I’m not going to be there long. Also a horn player who I barely noticed was there.
It’s pretty bad overall but I did a great job. BL says I was “the best drummer he ever worked with”. I’m handed an old school check and leave.
I get home and discuss the mess I encountered with my wife. She says don’t do the 6:00am gig. I say I want the jazz gig… but she’s right. I’m not going to be blackmailed. So the next day I politely email him and say I considered the 6:00am gig but that’s just a little too early for me and with the drive I’d need to be up at 4:30. I also asked for the songs for the jazz gig.
So in response I get a terse email simply saying something like “your services will no longer be needed” and said I do not have his permission to put the video up online!
I didn’t even reply. I saw an add up a week later on Craigslist making the blackmail clear - the post said two gigs and you had to do the first to do the second and you won’t get paid until you complete both. I can’t imagine he ever found anyone. I saw another ad a few months later looking for someone for a gig 3 hours away the next day for the same $, but oh, someone is driving the whole band up so it’s not too bad. I responded to that one asking if it was the same guy and never heard back.
In the end I eventually went through the video and I did indeed nail it. I was able to cobble together a decent promo video out of it but I keep it private and only send it out for bands that seem similar and only when they specifically ask for samples - I actually have a lot of better videos now so I haven’t needed it this year.
What a strange strange gig. I believe the BL said he used to work up and down the east coast with Bill Haley, so maybe he was more like 80. I wouldn’t be surprised. His pay seems rich by those standards but completely out of line with today. And he must have used up and spit out every good player in the area. I have to imagine by now he’s stopped working.
I’ll talk about the other one when I get the chance.
Last spring I answered an ad on Craigslist needing a drummer. I replied with demo videos and he said he could tell I was a pro and offered two gigs - first was a private event for only $125. The second was a jazz gig and I haven’t played much jazz in years (studied it in school) and figured it’d be a good gig if I could record it and maybe get more jazz gigs down the road.
Well I get sent the song list and it’s pretty simple. There are a few songs I never heard before so I listen, do simple reminder charts the week of the gig and show up having never met the band or doing any rehearsals.
I get to the gig and everyone is nice. The BL has to be 70 or so and in pretty bad health. The bass player is apparently good friends with the BL and has a really nice 6 string bass (Roscoe maybe?). He’s not very friendly and I suspect he’s just a jazz snob looking down at me. I ask if I can set up my video camera and he hesitates but said yeah no problem.
When I first got there the BL tells me he might have another gig. But it’s 1.5 hours away, the pay is $125, and it’s a 5k race and I’d need to be there by 6:00am. I just met the guy so I tell him let me think about it.
I do the gig. Holly mackerel. Bassist can hardly play. BL sings horribly out of key (but is a decent enough guitar player). There are also two female background singers who are so nice but I could tell scared to be friendly - I realize now they know I’m not going to be there long. Also a horn player who I barely noticed was there.
It’s pretty bad overall but I did a great job. BL says I was “the best drummer he ever worked with”. I’m handed an old school check and leave.
I get home and discuss the mess I encountered with my wife. She says don’t do the 6:00am gig. I say I want the jazz gig… but she’s right. I’m not going to be blackmailed. So the next day I politely email him and say I considered the 6:00am gig but that’s just a little too early for me and with the drive I’d need to be up at 4:30. I also asked for the songs for the jazz gig.
So in response I get a terse email simply saying something like “your services will no longer be needed” and said I do not have his permission to put the video up online!
I didn’t even reply. I saw an add up a week later on Craigslist making the blackmail clear - the post said two gigs and you had to do the first to do the second and you won’t get paid until you complete both. I can’t imagine he ever found anyone. I saw another ad a few months later looking for someone for a gig 3 hours away the next day for the same $, but oh, someone is driving the whole band up so it’s not too bad. I responded to that one asking if it was the same guy and never heard back.
In the end I eventually went through the video and I did indeed nail it. I was able to cobble together a decent promo video out of it but I keep it private and only send it out for bands that seem similar and only when they specifically ask for samples - I actually have a lot of better videos now so I haven’t needed it this year.
What a strange strange gig. I believe the BL said he used to work up and down the east coast with Bill Haley, so maybe he was more like 80. I wouldn’t be surprised. His pay seems rich by those standards but completely out of line with today. And he must have used up and spit out every good player in the area. I have to imagine by now he’s stopped working.
I’ll talk about the other one when I get the chance.
Last edited:
So Anyway, one BL during a 15-year period:
My history was not unusual for being in his band... a lot of local guys had worked for him. He usually had a pretty good backup band and had a knack for finding good players who happened to be out of work. When he'd ask you to join his band a few years after canning you, he acted you were best buddies. No Hard Feelings!
He had terminal cancer during my last ride with him, so I helped him as he finished up his gigs. After he Crossed The River, we held a music gathering for him and we all swapped stories. I didn't consider him entitled, but he was quite a character.
- hired me
- fired me about 6 months later
- hired me again a few years after that
- got mad when I left his band
- hired/fired me again
- hired me again
My history was not unusual for being in his band... a lot of local guys had worked for him. He usually had a pretty good backup band and had a knack for finding good players who happened to be out of work. When he'd ask you to join his band a few years after canning you, he acted you were best buddies. No Hard Feelings!
He had terminal cancer during my last ride with him, so I helped him as he finished up his gigs. After he Crossed The River, we held a music gathering for him and we all swapped stories. I didn't consider him entitled, but he was quite a character.
In some parts, this is behavior that invites the perpetration of violence upon them after maybe two of the above incidents....
I'd say so. He's lucky that love is blind, or he wouldn't have lasted long with me.In some parts, this is behavior that invites the perpetration of violence upon them after maybe two of the above incidents....
