unbelief. "We're on holiday.", they answered simultaneously. "Well are ye gonna have some rhubarb pie, or what? We sell those to earn money to pay our trip back to the US. We were robbed, ye know." Earl hesitated...
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Experiment: Let's write a (TB) story!
- Thread starter Jay2U
- Start date
...he hesitated because he had never tasted rhubarb pie. In fact, he had no ide awhat it was. So, carefully thinking of a response that would not betray his ignorance, he said loudly and in French:
Earl was suddenly perplexed... "WTH???" he thought! "I don't even know French.." "what is happening to me??" Then, he suddenly remembered that one night in Paris...where..
he could not respond quickly enough. Earl did not speak Italian, but he did watch a lot of the Marx Brothers. But since it took him so long to remember the quote, he blurted it out anyway, to the befuddlement of the rhubarb pie peddlers.
"Now I aska you one. What has a trunk, but no key, weighs 2,000 pounds and lives in a circus?"
"Now I aska you one. What has a trunk, but no key, weighs 2,000 pounds and lives in a circus?"
"Why, the local circus fat lady!" A voice from behind him boomed. Earl spun about and standing before him, was the lovliest 2000 pound woman he had ever seen. "Can you be a doll and help me open this trunk, Sugar?" She said. "I seem to have lost the key.."
Earl thought, "quantity over quality...? I...I..."
"wonder why you don't just sit on it. It'll burst right open! By the way, do you speak Italian?" The circus employee scratched her beard and...
presented Earl with her dance card.
He was flummoxed. What century was he in?
He eyed her up and down. Earl liked the big girls. He had once considered opening a special brothel for big girls - Big Earl's Big Girls". If being with a 200lb woman brought him pleasure, a 2000lb woman should be 10X as good!
He held out his hand and shouted
He was flummoxed. What century was he in?
He eyed her up and down. Earl liked the big girls. He had once considered opening a special brothel for big girls - Big Earl's Big Girls". If being with a 200lb woman brought him pleasure, a 2000lb woman should be 10X as good!
He held out his hand and shouted
had eaten way too much 'stuffed' scrapple. Then he thought Mary had grown to epic proportions. But now...
with the right mood music, we can dance off that scrapple and head for the chapel! Well, after she trims her beard, it tickles!! Just then Earl noticed that he was seeing flashing lights and was more than a little light headed. Before the sensation got to be too intense the 2000 lbs bearded fat lady from the circus with a case of now steamed parasitic ass crabs removed Earl from between her bussoms.
With a mighty intake of air Earl explaimed
With a mighty intake of air Earl explaimed
"I am the very model of a modern Major General!"
In retrospect, Gilbert and Sullivan operettas might not have been the best, having just experienced the shear mass of his newly found friend.
With that, he took off his hat and
In retrospect, Gilbert and Sullivan operettas might not have been the best, having just experienced the shear mass of his newly found friend.
With that, he took off his hat and
Patex, Patoon.
Quizzedly, Poachedly. (go to 6:35 on the clock)
9of13 --- Robinson Crusoe on Mars - YouTube
New orders were being received from the rescued slave on Mars.
Their meaning could only be deciphered by Earl's trusted old friend.
The friend who, when they were schoolboys convinced Earl to save his lunch money for two weeks and buy the big box of 64 crayons, the one with the crayon sharpener in it, the friend who dissuaded him from entering the Hot Dog Eating contest at Coney Island just after he'd had stomach surgery; the same friend who told him that speakers and microphones are related.
Yes, "Patex, Patoon. Quizzedly, Poachedly.
This would change everything.
But they had to reach Earl's old friend by...
Quizzedly, Poachedly. (go to 6:35 on the clock)
9of13 --- Robinson Crusoe on Mars - YouTube
New orders were being received from the rescued slave on Mars.
Their meaning could only be deciphered by Earl's trusted old friend.
The friend who, when they were schoolboys convinced Earl to save his lunch money for two weeks and buy the big box of 64 crayons, the one with the crayon sharpener in it, the friend who dissuaded him from entering the Hot Dog Eating contest at Coney Island just after he'd had stomach surgery; the same friend who told him that speakers and microphones are related.
Yes, "Patex, Patoon. Quizzedly, Poachedly.
This would change everything.
But they had to reach Earl's old friend by...
The same swamp from which much of the swamp ash was harvested for guitars and basses.
This swamp was safe.
His friend had once worked for Gibson, but changed jobs before this nonsense about not having the proper documents for Indian rosewood arose.
Speaking of Rose, she would be late getting back to the swamp; the spark plugs on her hovercraft were fouled.
She would have to call...
This swamp was safe.
His friend had once worked for Gibson, but changed jobs before this nonsense about not having the proper documents for Indian rosewood arose.
Speaking of Rose, she would be late getting back to the swamp; the spark plugs on her hovercraft were fouled.
She would have to call...
