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Explain your user name, come clean now

It's the name of a Fear Before the March of Flames album that I enjoy listening to with my ears.
 

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Long ago in a faraway and strange land, there was a young man with 2 jobs + being in a band playing 2 to 4 times per week. This was in the times of spandex, long hair, women with big hair and lots of make up. One day, about 6 PM this young man strolled into a venue where the 3 man road crew had just finished unloading a huge Ryder truck and setting up drum riser and lights and PA and stage gear(4 Marshall stacks, SVT with 2 cabs + Acoustic 370 with 2 cabs) and fog machine(55 gallon drum with a heating element, blower, dry ice bucket), huge ice chest with dry ice, and pyro. Note that THEY also had day jobs and it was the 3rd show in a row(i.e. 3 days of work-setup-tear down, load out, and little sleep).

The young bassist walked in and noticed that the cable running to his SVT from his NADY wireless was not run through the handle on the SVT. It was a 25 foot cable that was easily unplugged from the NADY receiver in case the blue NADY transmitter crapped out or ate the battery too quickly.
The young bassist asked the worn down crew "Who hooked up my amp?"
A roadie replied "I did, why?"
The young bassist said "Because you didn't run the cable through the handle like I've told you too 100 times!"
With that, the roadie quit aiming the lights, jumped off the ladder, and approached the young bassist rapidly and said:
"Look bra, we tired, busting our <deleted expletive>, and you ain't nothing but a crab to us sometimes, you're a Johnny Crab. Yeah, that's what you are, a <deleted expletive> Johnny Crab!".
The name stuck.

Apologies were made, the show went on, and almost 40 years later we're still friends although 500 miles apart.
 
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When I first joined TB, I had one bass, a Red J. Now I have many basses, a different red J, Midnight Wine with black pick guard. A thing of great beauty. However my delusion that all one needed was a Jazz Bass is shattered.
 
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I've been a member of TalkBass for close to 20 years now and I've seen a lot of wild and crazy user names during that time. What's your user name and more importantly explain how you decided on it. Be honest now.

Username = Thornton Davis

Thornton = is the name of a small village close to where I live. I coached hockey there for 9 years.

Davis = just a common family surname that has no particular meaning to me. I considered Smith, but that just didn't sound right.

Real name = Jon

TD
A long time ago, back in the far away time, the Google monster combined my first and last names into one, single, user name.