So, another rehearsal has come and gone. This one was almost 3 hours long, although we did run every song on the set list.
Vocalist isn't getting better anymore. He "warmed up" by HUMMING melodies. They were out of tune. We asked some questions about his practice routine. "Oh, I just sing while I'm doing my thing"? (assuming he means humming) Not gonna get it done. This guy is just Mr. Pitchy-pitchy-badnote and I'm not seeing that improving after the first burst of getting everything together. With that practice routine, I can't imagine why.
I offered coaching again and he turned me down again. Here's how that went (close to word-for-word).
Me: Is there anything I can do to help with the vocals? That practice we had a couple of weeks ago seemed to help.
Wanted to say: Look, man, your #$@^ needs work. It's time to put in the time.
Singer: Do you think I need coaching or lessons or whatever?
M: Yeah, maybe a little. I mean, we can all stand to practice.
WTS: #$@^ yeah you do. There are only 12 tones in all of western music and you can't sing ANY of them on pitch twice in a row. You need interval practice in a secret music prison where they hit with a stick you every time you miss a major third and you're belted clockwork orange style to a metronome and a tuner.
S: Well, I can just pick it up.
M: I like to be prepared. Either Tim (fiddle) or I can come work with you this week if you want? My wife is a great vocal coach and she can come to the next rehearsal too. We can break off, she can work with you, we can get the instrumentals together, and hook back up an hour later to run the list.
WTS: Bull#$@^, bull#$@^, bull#$@^, dude. You're not talented enough to pick up a pizza. You should be already ready already with the vocals. You should lose the lyric sheets too; how long does it #$@^ing take to learn TEN songs? Also, pitchy doesn't get better if you're humming a little tune at the grocery store or whatever. Just put your unjustified ego in your pocket, accept our help, and learn how to do this.
S: You worry too much; it'll be fine.
WTS: @#%#$^@$^@#$%!@#$%@#%^#$%%&*(&*&#$%@#$%#$^#%^&!&)
Practicing again tonight. Medium-high hopes, at least instrumentally.