Finally...why am i not happy?

[john_g]

I'm sorry but I must be missing something.

This sounds like a great cover band gig. You show up, you play, you get paid (!), and you go home.

If you want artistic satisfaction, then maybe you need to form your own band, sing the songs, and do all the work.

Nope. Learn to let go. New singer is the face of the band and gets gigs. Sounds like you might be a tad jealous of the new singer's youth and exuberance. In my own experience, I'm content being a Bill Wyman while our Mick gets the recognition.

Nah, not jealous in any way. Ive been playing for a long time and "been there done that" (back when bands ruled and rock was the most popular music...if anything he should be jealous that he didnt get to come up during much better times for bands lol).

I think the crux of this is that I dont agree with alot of his ideas. When he suggested some songs to add to the setlist I remembered that he is a rookie compared to the rest of us. I didnt say no to anything he has suggested so far as I am a team player, but, I would rather he talked to the rest of us since we have alot of experience to draw from (which he did in the beginning and now hes being more demanding imo).

I knew alot of people would just say...shut up and dribble Lebron. Or, thats how bands are (some...not all) and thats cool. Im more venting to people that would know and or experienced this before.

 

[LBS-bass]

When he suggested some songs to add to the setlist I remembered that he is a rookie compared to the rest of us. I didnt say no to anything he has suggested so far as I am a team player, but, I would rather he talked to the rest of us since we have alot of experience to draw from (which he did in the beginning and now hes being more demanding imo).

Well, this is a little confusing. He "suggested" songs. How is that not talking to the rest of you? Did he throw a tantrum if someone didn't want to do that song? You know singers will bring in the songs they already know they can sing well, right? Does he not want to learn anything new? It seems everyone could meet each other halfway on this.

 

[DrMole]

Sounds like a hostile takeover to me. But like some more have said, it doesn't necessarily sound like a bad thing.

You better make sure you have your chops together. This singer might have a bass player friend!

Nothing reported in OP sounds hostile. Just ambitious...singer sounds like he is simply doing many things now, better than they were previously done.

 

[john_g]

Nothing reported in OP sounds hostile. Just ambitious...singer sounds like he is simply doing many things now, better than they were previously done.

Its not hostile, he sings better than our last singer and got us gigs faster than we did before, but we played all of these places before he joined. Anything else, is amateurish compared to how things were done which is the problem. Hes the singer that can get gigs doesnt mean he knows everything is what it comes down to.

 

[john_g]

Well, this is a little confusing. He "suggested" songs. How is that not talking to the rest of you? Did he throw a tantrum if someone didn't want to do that song? You know singers will bring in the songs they already know they can sing well, right? Does he not want to learn anything new? It seems everyone could meet each other halfway on this.

He suggested songs when he joined and asked what we thought...now...its "we are adding this song and that song". Has nothing to do with what he can or cant sing. Poor choices IMO as most werent very big hits and there are millions of others to choose from. Lack of experience is more like it.

 

[john_g]

He suggested songs when he joined and asked what we thought...now...its "we are adding this song and that song". Has nothing to do with what he can or cant sing. Poor choices IMO as most werent very big hits and there are millions of others to choose from. Lack of experience is more like it.

Anyway...i do appreciate everyones input and I see that most of us have been there. I think I will talk to him one on one, we get along well so it wont be tense or anything. If im still not happy down the road Ill just move on...and become the lead singer and demand everyone does what I SAY!! Hope they dont try to break my sweet hands. Bye for now!

 

[LBS-bass]

He suggested songs when he joined and asked what we thought...now...its "we are adding this song and that song". Has nothing to do with what he can or cant sing. Poor choices IMO as most werent very big hits and there are millions of others to choose from. Lack of experience is more like it.

OK. He's a good singer, but he's adding songs he can't sing. He wants to think outside the usual box of hits, which is different from what you all did before. Have you tried playing any of those song to see how they go over?

The reason I ask is that my bands generally have a far better response when we play songs the audience loves but isn't expecting to hear. People go nuts over that stuff. Since I don't know what these songs are he's bringing in, it's hard to know if this is the angle he's trying to play.

In any case, it sounds like your opinion of him is pretty low, and I doubt there's much to be done about it. I'd walk.

 

[DanGroove]

I had a similar thing happen.

Aside from the new LS taking things over, he and I were constantly butting heads. Two stubborn guys vying for the power position Had something hinky done by the LS related to gig money and I expressed my displeasure. As a group we worked through it but that didn’t last more than a couple of months. The three of us quit and left the LS adrift, reformed under another name and recruited other talent that we managed a little more closely.

Looking back on it, I could have saved myself several months of grief if I had just packed it in. On the other hand, waiting allowed me and the other two guys (drums and guitar) to make alternate arrangements and keep the ball rolling.

The latter band was 10x better than the control freak LS former band.

The only thing I'm not getting here is that "new LS taking over". If the rest of the group wasn't happy, why did you all quit and form a new band with a new name instead of just firing the new lead singer.

 

[pcake]

i was wondering - was the singer's last band actually lazy, or does he talk about them that way because the way he sees it, he did everything? i wonder because he wants to do everything with your band, too.

He suggested songs when he joined and asked what we thought...now...its "we are adding this song and that song". Has nothing to do with what he can or cant sing. Poor choices IMO as most werent very big hits and there are millions of others to choose from. Lack of experience is more like it.

i would have said something the first time he announced an addition to the playlist rather than suggested. on the one hand, i'm not a boat rocker, but on the other hand, let a budding tyrant know they can get away with something and they'll feel they're the boss and will act accordingly. choosing songs for cover bands that weren't hits is something we read about on TB all the time, and most of us have gone to gigs where the band plays songs no one's heard before, breaking the partying mood of the crowd. those are never the most popular bands. maybe you're just not the type to give up all responsibility for something when you can see it's not a good direction. i know i'm not!

so he's getting more average-paying gigs at clubs you've played before and might have been able to book yourself. had he been getting higher paying gigs at new venues you hadn't been able to crack or at private events, i'd be more impressed. it sounds like he's getting more gigs by dint of being a better (and known) singer who knows people. is that enough for you?

maybe it's time to start shopping for an established cover band that needs a bass player. if you don't find one right away, you still have this band, although when they hear you're looking, they might find a replacement. how much would that matter to you?

 

[mrcbass]

As always, it's hard for us to know the whole picture form one point of view. It doesn't sound like you are gong to be happy in this incarnation of the band. I get it, it was your thing and now someone is trying to take over. Just a few thoughts:
1. Does you band have some sort of "mission statement", a grand vision for what you want to be? If not, you'll always have this sort of problem.
If so, does the LS's vision take you guys in that direction? IF so, what's the problem? IF not, time for a band meeting to discuss direction vs. vision and adjust one of them.
2. I don't get getting worked up over set lists. As long as the new versions met the band's goals, who really cares who builds the list? In my opinion, LS should be making these choices with the rest of the band able to discuss and adjust.
3. There's a bit of me that goes with one of the early responses (I didn't read the whole thread) regarding: You have a LS who's willing and able to take some of the weight of gigging off your shoulders. As long as it fits the big picture vision, what is the problem?
4. I also hear a tiny bit of GOF hanging off your post: "Ive been playing and in bands longer than hes been alive". Not accusing, but is it possible you are resistant to new or different?

Regardless of any of the above, it sounds like you're ready to be done. We can't know how much effort you've put into trying to adjust. If this post is just knee-jerk therapy because of something that happened at rehearsal last night, have a chat with yourself about the big picture stuff and see if there is a way you can bring yourself to see any positive in what LS is doing for the band. From the peanut gallery, it looks like there is a lot of positive if your goal is to regularly gig to decent crowds.

If you've already had the self talk and there's not enough positive in your eyes, then time to plan an exit strategy, because this will just fester. Talk with the other original members and let them know how you feel and see where they stand in a "him or me" choice - or you can go find another band and just bow out gracefully.

Good luck!

 

[yodedude2]

i understand that the o.p. is trying to frame this not as an ego issue but rather as a competency issue, but ...it's not working.

i like the 'go with the flow as long as it flows' approach, a.k.a. don't crap where you eat, still ... keep feeling out for other opportunities. you never know what might turn up

edit: o queso, mrcbass said it all better than i. see post above mine

 

[MegaSwing]

Every band has a ticking time bomb in it. EVERY band. The job of those in band management is to identify it early, in order to mitigate the inevitable damage. OP, it sounds like y’all brought yours in. Good luck.

 

[jnuts1]

everyone needs to know the singer is the band. nobody cares about instruments and are not coming to hear you. unless you are an instrumental band with no singer

 

[john_g]

i was wondering - was the singer's last band actually lazy, or does he talk about them that way because the way he sees it, he did everything? i wonder because he wants to do everything with your band, too.



i would have said something the first time he announced an addition to the playlist rather than suggested. on the one hand, i'm not a boat rocker, but on the other hand, let a budding tyrant know they can get away with something and they'll feel they're the boss and will act accordingly. choosing songs for cover bands that weren't hits is something we read about on TB all the time, and most of us have gone to gigs where the band plays songs no one's heard before, breaking the partying mood of the crowd. those are never the most popular bands. maybe you're just not the type to give up all responsibility for something when you can see it's not a good direction. i know i'm not!

so he's getting more average-paying gigs at clubs you've played before and might have been able to book yourself. had he been getting higher paying gigs at new venues you hadn't been able to crack or at private events, i'd be more impressed. it sounds like he's getting more gigs by dint of being a better (and known) singer who knows people. is that enough for you?

maybe it's time to start shopping for an established cover band that needs a bass player. if you don't find one right away, you still have this band, although when they hear you're looking, they might find a replacement. how much would that matter to you?

Right, we are not suddenly playing much better places. But he knows alot of the venues contact people so I or others dont have to play the call/email/wait game. And he is a good guy, im not bagging on him personally, he just "knows everything" from 5 years of being in another band and is slowly becoming the boss solely because he is the singer. Anyway, this thread I mostly intended to vent has grown and I cant keep up with explaining all the details lol Thank you to everyone though.

 

[LBS-bass]

4. I also hear a tiny bit of GOF hanging off your post: "Ive been playing and in bands longer than hes been alive". Not accusing, but is it possible you are resistant to new or different?

This is kind of what I'm hearing too, particularly with the part about wanting to bring in new material. The desire of musicians to stick with the old and familiar and not learn new material is a huge issue. When I hear "we're experienced" my mind immediately goes to "we are playing the songs we learned 30 years ago and we think that's all that works." We see that mindset here over and over again with people who only want to play songs they think are safe, not realizing that there's a treasure trove of good music out there that is not overdone and that audiences will respond to. But I really can't say what's going on here. All I can really see is that the OP isn't happy with it and probably needs to move on.

 

[drumvsbass]

No matter the 'Band' dynamic, if you're playing covers, you are the singers backing band.

 

[Altitude]

There are three ways to find satisfaction in any gig:

The music

The money

The hang

Theory goes that if your gig has two of them it's probably worth keeping.

 

[fhm555]

After 3 years of a revolving door of drummers and singers, we have finally put together a very talented cover band. New singer is a PR machine and knows all the contact people at venues and has got us a bunch of gigs set up already. Played our first and people were really complimentary.

Still...im not all that happy. It was great to gig again after COVID and I look forward to the others on the schedule, but its starting to feel like we are becoming the singers backup band. Me and guitarist kept this going for almost 3 years and truth be told, him and I have had several disagreements over that time. He can be difficult at times to work with and Im not even sure how i got this far in a band with him. We get along most of the time but he has surgically attached his lips to the singer buttocks since he can get gigs and hes a good singer. Drummer is new to the cover band world so he generally goes along with consensus.

I just see the singer slowly taking everything over with the guitarist in tow and Im not loving it. Im trying to be a team player so I have put in my opinions in a constructive way when I thought appropriate, but singer is a bit of a know it all when it comes to bands. Ive been playing and in bands longer than hes been alive and I dont agree with alot of his direction. I dont need or want to be in charge, but I have alot of experience to draw from, but its feeling like "singer knows best".

I plan on playing the rest of the gigs for sure, but it just stinks that we have a great band but Im not happy. Anyone else experience this?

So what specifically, besides philosophical differences of opinion with the new front, is your complaint?
Not to put too fine a point on it, but from your post it sounds like you are losing your influence over band matters to the new guy and are reluctant to cede that influence. Is it something besides having less control over the fate of the band? Is it set list conflicts, quality or quantity of bookings, anything negatively impacting the ability of the band to achieve it’s collective goal(s)? If so then you need to address your concerns in a full band face to face sit down.
If it’s just fear of the unknown associated with recent changes, or an ego ding created by the usurpers growing popularity among your mates, smile and enjoy the newfound energy (and work), and forget the notion that the band can’t get by without you. Don’t be that guy, instead of building apprehension because your place in the band’s pecking order is diminishing, be grateful you and your guitarist managed to stick it out until you found the right members, enabling you to go from the rehearsal space to the stage with cash compensation for your efforts.

 

[DirtDog]

The only thing I'm not getting here is that "new LS taking over". If the rest of the group wasn't happy, why did you all quit and form a new band with a new name instead of just firing the new lead singer.

Longish story. But here's the wave tops. Three of us in the core band (guitar, drums, bass) established ourselves while trying out a few different frontmen in the early days, including a stint with me doing lead vox. I'm not really a singer, but I figured it out enough to gig regularly for a couple of years. Then I injured my hand and went on the reserve list for a year. The two other guys (with my blessing), hooked up with one of the frontmen we had been trying out and recruited a fill-in bass player in order to keep things rolling in my absence. I did a couple of vocals-only gigs with the guys while my hand was wrapped up in bandages.

New LS then took over with his own branding, investment in a PA (that drama i documented here in 2015) and a different "business model". The guitar and drums were good with that. The drummer especially since he was working his ass of on booking and the new LS had another extensive network that he could leverage. By the time I was able to play again, the fill-in bassist was moving to the States to work and I slipped right into the bass role, non-lead vocalist. I soon realized that it was not going to be a good fit but I rationalized and persisted anyways. Largely due to this guy considering himself the leader and us the sidemen, even though the three of us cultivated this core outfit from the start and basically recruited him. Then came the PA/$$$ debacle shortly afterward. And the new LS didn't really bring much to the table with his network - aside from a couple of festival gigs where he was on the board of directors. The whole thing lasted less than a year out of my ten year association with the other two guys.

That's when the three of us split from the LS, went back to our old branding initially for about six months of gigs and me on lead vox again before settling on a new approach: we were the backing band, but we hired and closely managed the frontmen - as opposed to the other way around. I retired from that band in 2018 but they brought in another bassist and kept up with that model until right until the bitter end when the pandemic hit.

Funny evolution since then: the guitarist and drummer are brothers. The guitarist's son is turning into a really good bassist (and vocalist), so he's replaced my replacement on bass. They've brought in one of the more talented front-men we recruited for a bunch of gigs way back when. You can see where this is going: I suggested they call themselves "Van ________" (omitted their last name due to privacy issues, but it works phonetically, same number of syllables and letters, even). Even funnier is that we were - and they are - a country band! Just need a country version of Hot For Teacher or something.....

 

[drumvsbass]

There are three ways to find satisfaction in any gig:

The music

The money

The hang

Theory goes that if your gig has two of them it's probably worth keeping.

This is divine truth. Any time I have gone against this, it was a bad time.
Though recently I have taken $$$ out of the equation, if the music and hang aren't happening, neither am I.