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Finding out you're being replaced... via Craigslist!

#46
WOW, thank you all for your insights, ideas and making feel better, for real!

I don't have any gear over there, so it's an easy exit.

The guy is a dreamer. He's foreign, so his english is definitely spotty, thus the verbiage in his ad. But he's trying to make a living as a thickly accented guy fronting a cover band of eclectic mix (from Neil Young to Kings of Leon, for example). It's not easy to do that.

And as for me being not dedicated or slacking, I'd like to think I wasn't giving off that vibe.
1) They knew I was in another band when they hired me
2) He would book gigs before asking if we were available, then would play them whether I (or someone else) could make it or not.

We have a gig tonight, so that's extra special!
 
#47
To me it looks like he's simply looking for a side project. Just talk to the guy if it bothers you or if you think there's more to it.

ChrisB2 and a couple of others had good replies, but otherwise:

3q6ju9.jpg
 
#48
Beatlejuice53 said:
Quit now and devote your time and energy to one (preferably) or both of your other bands. If they can't find a replacement for you, tell them it's not your problem. Do not go back.
Click to expand...

Yup.

The bandleader/douche has already made his move. Trying to "talk to him" at this point is a waste of time. There's nothing to discuss. Pick up your toys and go home.

Ordinarily I would advocate being the pro, and either offering to play any remaining gigs they have scheduled, or giving them two weeks' notice - whichever comes first. But in this case, I wouldn't bother to do even that. If they had another bassist waiting in the wings and ready to go, do you think they would have given you two weeks' notice? :eyebrow:

I didn't think so. Case closed.

MM
 
#49
Knowing that English isn't his first language, I'm more inclined to think that maybe the others are right, he's recruiting people for a new originals project, not firing you behind your back. He's clearly not demanding that people be able to play the covers, after all. I would ask him if that's right, if he's starting a new project. If he isn't, then leave and don't look back.
 
#50
There are a lot of gigs lined up. And playing them isn't much trouble for me and I'd get paid, so that's why I could KIND OF ignore the ad.

I actually talked to him before about finding someone to write songs with him. He hired our lead guitarist as a hired gun initially, then got pissy when the guy wouldn't practice 3x a week. I said to him "You should find a songwriting partner who can do the original stuff with you. A guitarist or keyboard player. You guys write it, I'll gladly play it."
I'm not a songwriter. I don't know major 7 diminished mixolydian French scales! But play some of your fancy chords and I'll bass the hell out of them.

Didn't think he'd be out to replace me, since I'm open to whatever he wants to do. But if they are looking to off me, at least be a man and tell me. This isn't middle school!
Hell, if they'd be cooler about it, I'd even help to try to find someone to take my place.
I know a lot of bassists :ninja:
 
#51
MysticMichael said:
Yup.

The bandleader/douche has already made his move. Trying to "talk to him" at this point is a waste of time. There's nothing to discuss. Pick up your toys and go home.

Ordinarily I would advocate being the pro, and either offering to play any remaining gigs they have scheduled, or giving them two weeks' notice - whichever comes first. But in this case, I wouldn't bother to do even that. If they had another bassist waiting in the wings and ready to go, do you think they would have given you two weeks' notice? :eyebrow:

I didn't think so. Case closed.

MM
Click to expand...

All of this. Don't spend any more time or energy on this band. Print out the cl ad, go to the next practice, hand it to the bl, and say I'm done, I'll make it easy for you and leave. Politely say the goodbyes to the others, and walk. Never burn bridges. It's never productive and pretty much always childish.

If his reaction is something like "holy crap, I'm not looking to replace you, this is a side project!" then you can talk it out.
 
#53
It's probably happened to most bass players that have been playing many, many years. When it happens, I tell them to man up and tell me to my face instead of sneaking around behind my back. I've responded to a few ads like that on CL looking for sub work just to find out they are looking for "young players" or Young blood". That instantly tells me they are a start up and probably not very good. If they turn down experience and playing ability it either means they aren't up to your caliber or they are a bunch of back stabbing SOBs that will never make it.
 

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