Finding out you're being replaced... via Craigslist!

[rojo412]

Because the wife made plans with me already.

And it's the principle of asking bandmates if they are good to play a gig before booking it. That's one of my big gripes.
Can't take 30 seconds to ask people if they are clear for a gig?!?

I'm still not 100% sure of the intentions with the post. There's a lot of evidence that he's just trying to replace me for the original band, but keep me for the covers...
But he has done the same process for the guitarists we sorted through. If they were failing, he'd put out the feelers until he found a replacement.

 

[Depth_Charge]

Because the wife made plans with me already.

Did the band leader know this prior to assuming the all clear?

And it's the principle of asking bandmates if they are good to play a gig before booking it. That's one of my big gripes.
Can't take 30 seconds to ask people if they are clear for a gig?!?

Sometimes, scoring a gig comes down to how fast you can accept the gig. As a bandleader, there was nothing more nervewracking and frustrating than being offered a solid gig, and having to tell the person booking to hang on while I checked with my bandmates. And believe me, from my experience as a BL, it took more than 30 seconds to confirm!

And on at least half the occassions I missed the gig because by the time I got "the word" from my bandmates another band confirmed availability. So I changed tact, told the guys they needed to be available, or tell me when they weren't otherwise I'd assume they were. I got a list of subs on hand, and was able to roll with things if the full lineup wasn't available and I still wanted the band to play shows.

YMMV pending circumstances, but its always much easier to have guys on board, available, and actively telling the BL the dates they can't play, in advance.

 

[ChrisCassisi]

FLAG THE POST AND CONTINUE TO DO IT JUST TO BE AN A HOLE!!! LOL

Honestly by the way it sounds there is a serious lack of communication going on. Every gigging band I have ever been in talked constantly and once everyone said yes then we said yes to the gig and booked it. Bands are like being in a marriage/relationship with however many bandmates you have. Communication is key to having a happy and healthy band. Me and my bandmates always tell each other of plans as soon as they are made so if any of us get offered a gig everyone knows what days are available and which ones are not. IMHO these dudes don't seem like they are worth your time so just walk away. You will find other bandmates that will give you the respect you deserve and tell you when something is up and try to work it out.



Just my .02 cents

 

[mcnach]

I have a silly question, why would you pass on a gig just because it's your birthday?

Maybe he already had plans?

My girlfriend often does something for me on my birthday (no, I'm not talking about THAT ), maybe she gets tickets for a show, or books something...
Generally it's not a good idea to confirm a gig without asking the band first.

In my bands, we use an online calendar to block out any dates we are not available, but we still ask. We communicate and people generally reply in minutes.
If someone typically does not answer txts or calls, that someone won't stay in my band.

 

[mcnach]

Because the wife made plans with me already.

And it's the principle of asking bandmates if they are good to play a gig before booking it. That's one of my big gripes.
Can't take 30 seconds to ask people if they are clear for a gig?!?

I'm still not 100% sure of the intentions with the post. There's a lot of evidence that he's just trying to replace me for the original band, but keep me for the covers...
But he has done the same process for the guitarists we sorted through. If they were failing, he'd put out the feelers until he found a replacement.

If it's a NEW band, he is not replacing you.

Just because you play together in one band It does not mean you have to be together in all other projects, no?
Maybe he just thinks you are already too busy and wants someone with fewer commitments for the new band. Or maybe someone who is more into the style he wants to pursue. Nothing bad or sinister about it.
Maybe you have made it clear you are interested in making money and he knows an originals band will barely make any for some time, so he did not even think you would be interested?

Bottom line is:

if it's a NEW band, you are not being replaced, and there's no foul play. You may be overreacting.

 

[sound of bass]

Id confront him in a friendly kinda way. Tell him you've seen the ad and ask whats up? If its true...quietly pack ur gear and split, leave it at that. But, a BIG part of me wants to do as drpepper suggests...lets all respond to this add! LMAO! Thats really funny! Good luck and let us know.

 

[Ian the bassist]

A friend of mine alerted me to the fact that my "band" posted a want ad for a new lead guitarist and bass player via Craigslist.

I knew that they were looking for a sub, as they'd booked a gig on my birthday without asking me first and I had to bag it. So I gave them the benefit of the doubt, thinking he read it wrong.
NOPE!



I've never had this happen before. I'm stunned!
Now to be honest, I'd been trying to exit this band for some time, but it's just starting to pay off and I recently had a change of heart.
On the other hand, it's been a large waste of time, playing a load of covers I'm not a fan of. And I'm in 2 other bands, so I'm not desperate to play. This was my "money" band, though it never really earned me much after a bar tab was paid.

So... do I be the bigger man and talk about it with them?
Do I pretend I'm clueless?
Do I confront them and quit?
Or do I take a page from Eric B. and Rakim and "kick a hole in the speaker, pull the plug and I jet"?

Now that is a Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick head move. Be the bigger man. Confront him face to face, don't insult, say he you wish him luck but think he made a childish decision. Leave it at that. My drummer recently(only 2 days ago) left the band, said he wasn't going to play gigs HE booked, that were only days away(and 2 next week, and another 2 the following), all so he could go on a drinking spree(alcoholic, I have sympathy since it is a disease, but he's such an ******* for doing it this way) we had no choice but to cancel the gigs. We announced on Facebook he was leaving and wished him luck in hos future endeavors. Could have thrashed him online. But it would make us look bad. Be the bigger man and just laugh it off.

 

[Kmonk]

Using phrases such as "Don't waste my time", "I won't respond", is very unprofessional. I have been playing for 35 years and plenty of recordings but no Youtube videos. Most of the videos I've seen are terrible in terms of quality. The tone of the ad comes across as very arrogant. This guy is obviously very full of himself. No offense, but it's a dime a dozen local cover band, it's not The Beatles. I wouldn't worry about. Look for another band.

 

[ChrisB2]

I'm still not 100% sure of the intentions with the post. There's a lot of evidence that he's just trying to replace me for the original band, but keep me for the covers...
But he has done the same process for the guitarists we sorted through. If they were failing, he'd put out the feelers until he found a replacement.

You maybe right, but again... there is nothing in the ad that directly says you're being replaced in the cover band, or even implies it.

I'm really surprised that more readers aren't seeing that... especially some who usually have keen insight.

Why in hell would you quit a good gig over an assumption, especially one that seems so obviously unfounded??

I can see a scenario:

YOU: [ragequit/breakstuff]

THEM: [look at each other] "What just happened? Why you quitting??"

YOU: [hand them the ad, wait]

THEM: "Um, we like you, Pasco here just wants to start his own side deal with people who can commit 100%. Nothing is changing with this group."

YOU: "...........uuuuuuuhhhhhhh....." [awkward weirdness]


You are involved in multiple projects... he wants to start an original thing with dedicated people. Why is that wrong???

How does that mean he's replacing you in your current group??

 

[mcnach]

You maybe right, but again... there is nothing in the ad that directly says you're being replaced in the cover band, or even implies it.

I'm really surprised that more readers aren't seeing that... especially some who usually have keen insight.

Why in hell would you quit a good gig over an assumption, especially one that seems so obviously unfounded??

I can see a scenario:

YOU: [ragequit/breakstuff]

THEM: [look at each other] "What just happened? Why you quitting??"

YOU: [hand them the ad, wait]

THEM: "Um, we like you, Pasco here just wants to start his own side deal with people who can commit 100%. Nothing is changing with this group."

YOU: "...........uuuuuuuhhhhhhh....." [awkward weirdness]


You are involved in multiple projects... he wants to start an original thing with dedicated people. Why is that wrong???

How does that mean he's replacing you in your current group??

Exactly the way I see it.
The ad is about a NEW project, not about finding new people for the existing covers band.
If in doubt, ask. The ad, despite the unfortunate tone that turns me off immediately, is about starting a NEW project and does not mention killing the covers group or getting rid off people in it.

 

[Phinn]

Just because you play together in one band It does not mean you have to be together in all other projects, no?

Bottom line is:

if it's a NEW band, you are not being replaced, and there's no foul play. You may be overreacting.

I don't see how that could be. Even if this is a new side project, a basic sense of loyalty and respect requires that you at least talk it over with your bandmates before starting it.

Most of the time, the band would respond by supporting it -- help out, think of other musicians who might be a good fit, bounce ideas around, accommodate the rearranging of schedules, or just offer general words of encouragement.

That's what people do when they like and respect each other -- they want their friends to succeed and be fulfilled.

But let's say the singer only wanted to start a side project, and he did tell his mates, but the band responded by being unsympathetic, unsupportive, or even saying flat-out that they didn't want him to do it right now (let's say it's because it would cut into the band's plans, or time pressures, or whatever).

If that happened, then at that point the singer would have a choice -- either agree with them that the timing for a side project isn't right, or walk and do it anyway.

This singer didn't do any of that. He went straight to Craigslist.

Why would you want to stay in a band with a guy like that?

 

[seang15]

Damn, sounds like a great gig! But I am apparently too old, and my family is my priority. I'm out

 

[Double E]

Uh...hello. The suggestion that this guy is starting a separate project has long since been addressed by the OP. some folks are obviously quick to jump on their high horse before reading.

 

[awakefie]

Either way the singer is a d-bag. The tone on his ad says it all.

What to do? I say leave but take the high road. Tell the band you don't think it is working out. Play out any committed gigs.

Confrontation and drama only serves to buy you a ticket on the d-bag express.

 

[mcnach]

I don't see how that could be. Even if this is a new side project, a basic sense of loyalty and respect requires that you at least talk it over with your bandmates before starting it.

Most of the time, the band would respond by supporting it -- help out, think of other musicians who might be a good fit, bounce ideas around, accommodate the rearranging of schedules, or just offer general words of encouragement.

That's what people do when they like and respect each other -- they want their friends to succeed and be fulfilled.

But let's say the singer only wanted to start a side project, and he did tell his mates, but the band responded by being unsympathetic, unsupportive, or even saying flat-out that they didn't want him to do it right now (let's say it's because it would cut into the band's plans, or time pressures, or whatever).

If that happened, then at that point the singer would have a choice -- either agree with them that the timing for a side project isn't right, or walk and do it anyway.

This singer didn't do any of that. He went straight to Craigslist.

Why would you want to stay in a band with a guy like that?

What he does with his time is his business, as long as he continues to do what he has to do with his existing band. Does he need to ask for permission? LOL

His existing band is covers. He says he wants to do originals. It seems obvious he is taking about a different project.

Yeah, it's normal to talk to your bandmates... because we are social, but not require their approval, as long as your commitment to The existing band does not change.

I have one main band, originals. And three other bands that overlap in various ways, two are covers (RATM and RHCP tribute) and another is originals, funk. The main band is number one. The other bands allow me to do other things and have fun (and make more money) playing other styles. There are three other bands that also overlap and use other bass players there, a general covers band, a ska band and a rock originals...

And why not?

We schedule carefully, use online calendars, it works with the right people. I have had this for about three years now. Each band plays one gig a month, except the main one that plays a lot more, and the generic covers one that I am not involved in.

It's not unusual to be In multiple bands with different members, believe me.

 

[mcnach]

Uh...hello. The suggestion that this guy is starting a separate project has long since been addressed by the OP. some folks are obviously quick to jump on their high horse before reading.

No, it hasn't. He assummed based on what he thinks that guy wants.
The ad is The only objective truth. It does not imply anything but a NEW project.

If in doubt... ask the guy instead of freaking out. Simple.

It pays to stay calm and differentiate between assumptions and what we know for real.

 

[Phinn]

It's not unusual to be In multiple bands with different members, believe me.

Of course it's normal. That's not the point.

The point is that when you commit to each other, you at least give your mates a heads-up about things that affect them. It's just basic decency.

A lot of bands are super casual, which is fine. But if you're gigging, then everyone in the band is adjusting his life in some way in order to participate. They deserve to know about changes that affect them. Is that asking for their permission? No, it's just respecting the fact they have a right to know if someone is committing to other projects as well.

This singer obviously demands total "commitment." His ad says so. ("This band has to be your priority.")

That means he's just announced to strangers that his current cover band is NOT his "priority."

There's no law that says he shall make the cover band his priority forever. But if his priorities have changed, and he's starting a new band that will be his top priority, as he said, then he ought to at least tell the old band first before announcing it to the Internet.

 

[rojo412]

Well, actually, it was implied that we would be transitioning to original material and I was under the impression that I was going to be involved in that as well.

By the craigslist verbiage, there is definite evidence of many things, but starting a separate project is implied. Part of it reads that way.
On the other hand, I think we can agree that it sounds a bit like he's trying to change the current band to originals and replace members as well.

Like I said, if he needs new blood for the other project, cool. Tell me that. I'd even offer to help. I probably could write a much better want ad, if asked.

But I know his tricks. He auditions new people and sometimes cancels practice to do so. I've been there for it! So if he's looking for a new bassist for a new project, it's not out of the question that he wants that bass player to replace me, if possible, because I'm too busy for his demands.

Just sayin'...

 

[Phinn]

Well, actually, it was implied that we would be transitioning to original material and I was under the impression that I was going to be involved in that as well.

By the craigslist verbiage, there is definite evidence of many things, but starting a separate project is implied. Part of it reads that way.
On the other hand, I think we can agree that it sounds a bit like he's trying to change the current band to originals and replace members as well.

Like I said, if he needs new blood for the other project, cool. Tell me that. I'd even offer to help. I probably could write a much better want ad, if asked.

But I know his tricks. He auditions new people and sometimes cancels practice to do so. I've been there for it! So if he's looking for a new bassist for a new project, it's not out of the question that he wants that bass player to replace me, if possible, because I'm too busy for his demands.

Just sayin'...

Does he own the band? Are you his hired session musicians?

Maybe I'm just allergic to authority (I have been told it's a problem), but I just can't get my head around the idea that the guy thinks he can solve band problems by "replacing" people.

If he dislikes like something about the band that much, then he's the one who quits. You're as much a part of the band as he is, right?

 

[rojo412]

The band started, no name though, without me. It was him, drummer, lead guitarist. I joined shortly after they all formed. Things got sour with the original lead guitarist and they booted him (he and drummer).

We made a go as a 3-piece and eventually tried a few guitarists before settling on our current one.

I'd consider this "his" band, because he picks most of the songs and we practice at his place. He also wants it to be his main form of income, where as the drummer and I are working stiffs.
We aren't an LLC or anything, but if he up and decided he wanted to take the name and replace all of us... we'd be pissed, but really not able to do much about it.