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Finding out you're being replaced... via Craigslist!

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by rojo412, Apr 4, 2013.

  1. rojo412

    rojo412 Walnut is fun! Supporting Member

    Feb 26, 2000
    Cleveland, OH.
    A friend of mine alerted me to the fact that my "band" posted a want ad for a new lead guitarist and bass player via Craigslist.

    I knew that they were looking for a sub, as they'd booked a gig on my birthday without asking me first and I had to bag it. So I gave them the benefit of the doubt, thinking he read it wrong.

    I've never had this happen before. I'm stunned!
    Now to be honest, I'd been trying to exit this band for some time, but it's just starting to pay off and I recently had a change of heart.
    On the other hand, it's been a large waste of time, playing a load of covers I'm not a fan of. And I'm in 2 other bands, so I'm not desperate to play. This was my "money" band, though it never really earned me much after a bar tab was paid.

    So... do I be the bigger man and talk about it with them?
    Do I pretend I'm clueless?
    Do I confront them and quit?
    Or do I take a page from Eric B. and Rakim and "kick a hole in the speaker, pull the plug and I jet"?
  2. Marginal Tom

    Marginal Tom

    Apr 28, 2010
    O'Fallon, IL
    From the tone of his Craigslist ad, I doubt that he'll ever find a replacement for you or the lead player. Your original inclination to leave was correct.
  3. Obviously, you reply to the add :bag:
  4. SirMjac28

    SirMjac28 Patiently Waiting For The Next British Invasion Gold Supporting Member

    Aug 25, 2010
    The Great Midwest
    I would talk to to them about it and if indeed they are looking to replace you I would exit with dignity. I love the ad it made me laugh out loud and I needed that thank you sir.
  5. funkingroovin

    funkingroovin Conquering A-D-D,and all the other notes as well!

    Apr 19, 2009
    I'd reply to the ad with your bio/resume,and mention this is JUST the thing you've been looking for ;)
  6. Go w/your first impulse(talk to them)- then follow your gut/heart and move on... The ad comes off to me as being kind of picky.
  7. pumpkinking39


    Sep 14, 2011
  8. Mystic Michael

    Mystic Michael Hip No Ties

    Apr 1, 2004
    New York, NY
    Ultimately, nobody can answer this for you...but you. What does your gut tell you? :eyebrow:

    If it was me, I would consider it a blessing: You know the band (or "he" - whoever "he" is) is shopping around...but they/he doesn't know that you know it. That means you have the opportunity to act - without being acted upon.

    You could talk with them about it - if you really want to, or if you somehow feel obligated. But I don't see why you would want to - or would feel obligated.

    Pretend you're clueless? Why in the world would you even contemplate doing that? Why? :confused:

    IMHO, it isn't a matter of "quitting". Although they haven't fired you yet, functionally speaking it amounts to the same thing: They're going to dump you as soon as they have someone to take your place. It's over. Deal with it.

    Personally, I think it would feel very, very awkward to continue to stay - under any circumstances. I would simply show up at the next scheduled rehearsal, announce to everyone that you know what's going on, explain that you've come to fetch your gear, then gather up your goodies and split. Make it quick, make it simple, make it businesslike, make it permanent. Just go - and be done with it.

  9. chatterbox272


    Apr 12, 2012
    If you want to stay with them then be the bigger man and talk about it with them. If you want to leave, reply to the ad.
  10. Create a new e-mail. Reply to the ad and discuss how your current coverband sucks and the BL can't hack it at his instrument. When you show up for auditions make it real awkward. Burn all the bridges.

    An old roommate's band just did this to their drummer. He worked his schedule around their gigs for the next few months. Last week he showed up for practice and they told him he was done. They'd found a new drummer. Not even a hint that his drumming was a problem. His firing was out of the blue.

    Play any remaining scheduled shows, tell them to find a new bassist ASAP, and be done with it. These clowns will can you as soon as they get the chance if you try to stay. Given the quality of that CL ad it may take them a few decades to get said chance. But why waste your time?
  11. tbplayer59


    Jan 20, 2013
    No good could possibly come from staying. Quit now.
  12. IPYF


    Mar 31, 2011
    Agreed. Problem solved. He knows that you know he's stiffed you and it automatically demonstrates to him that you quit and that you think he's a c*ck.
  13. JakeAndAirwaves


    Jun 3, 2011
    I think this would be hilarious.

    Are you sure he's trying to replace members of the existing band? From the wording (such terrible wording) it sounds like he could be looking to do something as a side project.
  14. One word - Yes!
    Maybe quit and then confront/tell them. The tone in the ad is quite "unfriendly" to say the least. Who does he think he is??
    For me there wouldn't be any trustful basis anymore, playing with people like that is a complete waste of time.
  15. Megazap63


    Apr 12, 2009
    London, UK
    I once found myself in a similar situation - leaving with dignity and not bothering to contact (or remain in contact with) the other band members worked best for me. Lots of other good, competent and PERSONABLE musicians out there to work and hang with....

    My view is, whatever happens, don't let such a minor setback have a negative impact on your musical future.
  16. ChrisB2

    ChrisB2 Bass... in your fass

    Feb 27, 2008
    TalkBass > Off Topic
    You're jumping to conclusions. Not saying you're wrong, but this:

    "We play covers (redacted) however, I'M INTERESTED IN WRITING AND PLAYING ORIGINALS"

    ...does not say your band is replacing you.

    It says:

    "We play covers (redacted) however, I'M INTERESTED IN WRITING AND PLAYING ORIGINALS"



    Words mean things. He even capitalized the part about HIM wanting to go original. Take it at face value and it doesn't even hint anything about you or your band.

    Do you not speak to this person? I would just casually ask him next time we were together, "so I saw you're starting a new project..."

    Does he not have the prerogative to start an original project and advertise for someone who is not involved in other projects like you are?

    No offense, I just think you took off down the wrong rabbit hole here. Then again, I could be wrong too. Just think about it...

    Good luck.
  17. I doubt he'll get a lot of serious replies with grammar that poor.

    Also, he sounds like a real douche. I know high school kids have the starry eyed vision of making it "big" and like to use the idea that the band has to be the #1 priority.

    That's foolish. Family and personal achievement are far more important to anyone with common sense. Bands are hobbies and for fun. Honestly, I'd reply to the add for the comical value, then I would quit and look for a band that will appreciate you and respect that you have a personal life. If he put an add up, the decision to fire you has already been made. Leave with dignity and don't give them anymore of your time.
  18. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    The good news is, I'm IN!

    Let's just hope he doesn't ask to see my driver's license.

    (this is a joke)
  19. Yeah I think it says the poster is looking to get out of your band or get himself a side gig doing his on stuff.The link to your band is to show himself off to interested responders. That is how I interpreted the post.
  20. remainthesame


    Sep 24, 2008
    i thought being delusional and narcissistic were requirements for being a singer? :bag:

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