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Finding out you're being replaced... via Craigslist!
- Thread starter rojo412
- Start date
I'm in the answer the ad camp. Tell him you need to know soon so you can give your old band notice.
exactly. Normally I would say just talk to him about it like an adult, but from the ad it's obvious he's an arrogant douchebag, so he'd get no such courtesy from me. Based on the ad and what you've said, there is no doubt leaving this band will be your best decision ever.
Tell him you need to know what soon? Obviously OP is being replaced, and responding to the ad is basically a resignation. Giving this idiot lead singer the power to make more decisions for the OP would be beyond silly.
This bugs me because I have met this guy and heard him perform...he is very naturally talented and seemed quite down-to-earth. Definitely did not seem like the douche that would write this kind of ad. Perhaps he just doesn't get the english language enough to know how he is coming off.
I think the "big quitting scene" is always a mistake. Drama is BS. Just be a straight shooter, act like an adult. Direct conversation: "Saw your ad. Busy with other band anyways. Good luck on getting something that works for you". Then be gone. Don't look back. Move on to a more positive situation.
This sound so, ADULT! I have to agree that drama is one of the negatives I try to keep out of my life.
Here's what I would do: Act like I know nothing about the ad. Tell him I would love to try doing originals with the band and ask what I can do to contribute. If he blows you off then I would most definitely reply to the add. Links, resume and everything. Wait to see how he responds. If he calls you in for a audition just show up with no gear and tell them all to F off.
Coming late to this party - I feel for you. I was in the same situation a year ago, except there was no ad. I was replaced by a guy the drummer met in rehab. They'd had a few rehearsals with the new guy, using my amp no less, before giving me the ax. The self designated leader didn't man up, and instead made the drummer give me the news.
At the time I suspected that my replacement was more to do with my drive to play out than anything else. They seemed more interested in hanging out in the drummer's basement drinking. I like playing gigs more than drinking.
My last interaction with the drummer when I went to collect my amp: "Good luck, let me know if you ever need a sub, good bye."
In your situation I may favor resignation with commitment to play the currently booked gigs, and an expressed willingness to sub as needed. All professional.
I wish you all the best. In my experience, as one band fades another blossoms.
At the time I suspected that my replacement was more to do with my drive to play out than anything else. They seemed more interested in hanging out in the drummer's basement drinking. I like playing gigs more than drinking.
My last interaction with the drummer when I went to collect my amp: "Good luck, let me know if you ever need a sub, good bye."
In your situation I may favor resignation with commitment to play the currently booked gigs, and an expressed willingness to sub as needed. All professional.
I wish you all the best. In my experience, as one band fades another blossoms.
Darn, this sounds as grim as when you discover your significant other is looking for a new partner while you are cruising the same dating site.
Kind of?
^^^ this after discussing the "separate project" and finding out it's not a separate project.
^^^ This
A bit?
But more boring.
And in your response, don't forget to mention you also like Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain.
If you don't get this then you're too young.
I'm not.
^^^ This
So the person posting the ad is ESL, typos/spelling forgiven. However, the rest of the ad still says he's a PITA in any language; and yet somebody mentioned he's personable, in person. So much can be misconstrued in print.
Anyway, just 'cause this guy's a schmuck doesn't mean you need to be one. Maybe the new player doesn't work out, but he becomes successful and calls you up again...
Act as an adult, exit gracefully, with integrity and that is the ultimate revenge.
Similar thing happened to me. You can find all the basics in this post from a couple of months ago:
http://www.talkbass.com/forum/f67/h...our-bandmates-952897/index2.html#post13791569
It sucked at the time, but in the long run, I'm glad I was able to get out of there when I did and I learned some valuable lessons.
http://www.talkbass.com/forum/f67/h...our-bandmates-952897/index2.html#post13791569
It sucked at the time, but in the long run, I'm glad I was able to get out of there when I did and I learned some valuable lessons.
I'm waiting to see if he mentions it before the gig tonight. If he's looking for another guy to play with who has more time than me, that's cool, I get it.
But the sly replacement is failing, if that's his game.
What I could do is reply to the ad before the gig, so when he gets home and sees his inbox, he knows that I knew all along.
But this:
Is flipping brilliant!!!! Thanks, Ric5, you made my day with that.
But the sly replacement is failing, if that's his game.
What I could do is reply to the ad before the gig, so when he gets home and sees his inbox, he knows that I knew all along.
But this:
Is flipping brilliant!!!! Thanks, Ric5, you made my day with that.
Replaced? Who are you, the hired help?
If you're a guest in his pre-existing band, then he/they can replace you. Sure.
But if you're in the band, then you're partners. Him who doesn't want to be in the band, as presently constituted, can quit.
This guy (the self-important singer who thinks you're an employee) may want to do a sideline originals project. Fine. He should ask you to agree to that. If he doesn't like your answer, he can quit.
But the fact that he went to CL first means he's a disloyal douche.
I wouldn't stay in a band with a disloyal douche. So, if I were you, I'd quit.
If you're a guest in his pre-existing band, then he/they can replace you. Sure.
But if you're in the band, then you're partners. Him who doesn't want to be in the band, as presently constituted, can quit.
This guy (the self-important singer who thinks you're an employee) may want to do a sideline originals project. Fine. He should ask you to agree to that. If he doesn't like your answer, he can quit.
But the fact that he went to CL first means he's a disloyal douche.
I wouldn't stay in a band with a disloyal douche. So, if I were you, I'd quit.
Pfft. In life you get so few opportunities to actually stick it to the people who stiff you. Usually you just have to cop bad form on the chin and move on with a new life lesson and no satisfaction.
There's nothing childish about teaching this guy a lesson in the funniest way possible. He's asked for nothing less by treating you like a fool and I think it's only fair that you should put him firmly in his place by making him feel as uncomfortable as possible. He's earned it.
Reply and send him a Youtube video of the band Complete.
Then tell him you have loads of original material to contribute...
Then tell him you have loads of original material to contribute...
Been there, done that. Biggest mistake they made. It became more a catching a buzz than catching a groove. Fine for them.
I have a silly question, why would you pass on a gig just because it's your birthday?
