Funnies

[dave_clark69]

Q.Why did David Beckham cross the road?
A.To get the ball he kicked over the goal

 

[Woodchuck]

"This fella is on safari in Africa when he comes across an elephant lying on the ground, in distress. He investigates and finds a thorn in its foot. He removes it, and the elephant trots merrily away. Twenty years on, the man is standing in the street in London watching a circus procession pass by. When the elephant gets level with him, it stops, looks straight at him, reaches out with its trunk, lifts him bodily into the air, smashes him on the ground and jumps on him. It was a different elephant."

My fave!

 

[romac]

Good news - Saddam Hussein is going to get the death penalty.

























The bad news is David Beckham is taking it

 

[Happy MurphDay]

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
It was dead.

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
It was stapled to the first one.

 

[thinking of you]

How many violists does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?

10, 1 to mix the batter and 9 to peel the M&M's

 

[Tsal]

This joke be PG-13 approved!

Q: What's a hundred yards long and has three pubic hairs?

A: The queue to Backstreet Boys gig.

 

[Matt Till]

What's the most religious chord?











Gsus

Wow, that's good, really good!


This thread rocks.

 

[Blackbird]

What do you call four mexicans in quicksand?

Quatro Cinco.


A bassist asks a drummer to check whether his car blinkers are working or not. The drummer goes to the back of the car while the bassist turns the blinkers on. The drummer says "works, doesn't work, works, doesn't work, works, doesn't work, works, doesn't work, works, doesn't work, works..."

What's green and brown, has four legs and will kill you if it falls on you from a tree?





























...a pool table.