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Gay Musicians
- Thread starter celticafro
- Start date
Nice reactions here.
At first, i tough that's going to be worst than that. Because, you know, lot of people, some rotten apple in the lot...
At first, i tough that's going to be worst than that. Because, you know, lot of people, some rotten apple in the lot...
Hey I apologize for not reading the whole thread, so I'll probably repeat something already said - but here goes...
I met my person when she lived in the Castro in San Francisco, and one of her friends was a guy who was REALLY frustrated about the gay scene there - he felt like he couldn't be gay and "normal" without being part of the exaggerated and overtly sexual personality that was, well, what the Castro was all about. To add to the frustration he came from a small town in the midwest where he couldn't even think about being open about it, so it was one extreme or the other.
OP, my interpretation of what you're saying here tells me that you should maybe just do what everyone else does, play the music you like and whoever you run into is whoever you run into, gay or not. The genre you're looking at might be a lil less open to it tho - so if you're clear with them about it from the beginning (and I think you should be) and they're uncomfortable with it, find other people - and be stubborn with that.
I met my person when she lived in the Castro in San Francisco, and one of her friends was a guy who was REALLY frustrated about the gay scene there - he felt like he couldn't be gay and "normal" without being part of the exaggerated and overtly sexual personality that was, well, what the Castro was all about. To add to the frustration he came from a small town in the midwest where he couldn't even think about being open about it, so it was one extreme or the other.
OP, my interpretation of what you're saying here tells me that you should maybe just do what everyone else does, play the music you like and whoever you run into is whoever you run into, gay or not. The genre you're looking at might be a lil less open to it tho - so if you're clear with them about it from the beginning (and I think you should be) and they're uncomfortable with it, find other people - and be stubborn with that.
I don't identify myself by my sexual practices. I think sex is one, small part of life and I'm much more than that. So, I don't think it's relevant (to music or even to the TB website). I'm sorry you're lonely. I used to be very lonely too. It really makes life harder.
This is a very privileged response. You don't have to think about being straight because it's the norm. When you go out somewhere with your girlfriend, people don't say that you shove your orientation "down their throats." It's just normal. But for gay people, everything they do is judged by others. Being gay isn't just about the "sexual practice." You can be gay without ever having sex with someone of the same gender. It's about who you're attracted to. Human Sexuality 101 please.
I doubt the guy is saying he only wants to play with gay musicians. Sometimes we just like finding others who we can relate to, who have that one other thing in common. I think it is relevant because it's about meeting other gay MUSICIANS.
I'm sorry that people are still living in ignorance.
(I realize that I'm making assumptions about your post. If I'm reading into it the wrong way, I apologize).
At first I thought this thread was kind of like a personal ad. But maybe it's more like you want to play with musicians you can relate with.
Similarly, I choose to play with women. My reasons go beyond being able to relate as women though.
My bigger reason is because I don't want to leave my husband to go hang with other men weekly and at gigs.
I don't think it would be good for our marriage.
good luck though. Maybe there are "all gay" rock bands, like "all female"
Similarly, I choose to play with women. My reasons go beyond being able to relate as women though.
My bigger reason is because I don't want to leave my husband to go hang with other men weekly and at gigs.
I don't think it would be good for our marriage.
good luck though. Maybe there are "all gay" rock bands, like "all female"
man i have limited access to talkbass for a few years and when i return, MM is out of the closet! Who's next? Munji? 
I'm gonna side with the idea that it really doesn't matter who you play with. You're going to have many groups you associate with in life, it's nice if the sets have overlap, (like my bald, bass playing, chubby hubby ice cream lovin, neotropical cichlid enthusiast, strong agnostic, science nerd, philosophy - theology - political science lovin friends) - not too many of those cept me, but i have friends who are in one or more groups, and a bunch that are in just one group.
Fortunately attitudes have changed dramatically in the 42 years I've been around. I have several gay friends, but now that i put some weight back on their other friends stopped hitting on me..
So i guess my point is go ahead and form/join GLBT musician groups, but don't worry yourself excessively about it. And, as an aside, unless it's really important to you, i would recommend not forming a band where all the members have to be gay. Only reason I say this is up near my way there have been at least 3 gay bands and 7 all girl bands that held frantic searches for a bass player and passed this bald guy right over. I told them I'd dress in black and stand backwards like sir paul, and they still missed out on the groove machine!
I'm gonna side with the idea that it really doesn't matter who you play with. You're going to have many groups you associate with in life, it's nice if the sets have overlap, (like my bald, bass playing, chubby hubby ice cream lovin, neotropical cichlid enthusiast, strong agnostic, science nerd, philosophy - theology - political science lovin friends) - not too many of those cept me, but i have friends who are in one or more groups, and a bunch that are in just one group.
Fortunately attitudes have changed dramatically in the 42 years I've been around. I have several gay friends, but now that i put some weight back on their other friends stopped hitting on me..
So i guess my point is go ahead and form/join GLBT musician groups, but don't worry yourself excessively about it. And, as an aside, unless it's really important to you, i would recommend not forming a band where all the members have to be gay. Only reason I say this is up near my way there have been at least 3 gay bands and 7 all girl bands that held frantic searches for a bass player and passed this bald guy right over. I told them I'd dress in black and stand backwards like sir paul, and they still missed out on the groove machine!
I'm a bi guy who plays a eclectic blend of metal, alternative, electronic, and experimental. Unless I make some campy innuendo on stage, I can't imagine how anyone in the general audience would know my orientation without knowing me personally. But I seem to encounter plenty of LGBT musicians in my life...
- I had a trans friend in college who had a stint in an industrial band (with a bi singer as well).
- My last gf (also bi) was a pretty stellar pianist, and really into classical music and metal.
- There is a kick-ass local indie band (the bassist of which I have chatted with a few times) that is 3/4 lesbian musicians.
- One of my friends' housemates is a bi woman who plays the harp.
Being in San Francisco helps a lot, since we don't need to conform to stale gay stereotypes to find an accepting social circle (or find dates, hehe...)
That said, I am totally rushing out to buy Scissor Sisters tickets when they tour later this year!
- I had a trans friend in college who had a stint in an industrial band (with a bi singer as well).
- My last gf (also bi) was a pretty stellar pianist, and really into classical music and metal.
- There is a kick-ass local indie band (the bassist of which I have chatted with a few times) that is 3/4 lesbian musicians.
- One of my friends' housemates is a bi woman who plays the harp.
Being in San Francisco helps a lot, since we don't need to conform to stale gay stereotypes to find an accepting social circle (or find dates, hehe...)
That said, I am totally rushing out to buy Scissor Sisters tickets when they tour later this year!
- There is a kick-ass local indie band (the bassist of which I have chatted with a few times) that is 3/4 lesbian musicians.
All i can think of is the Miss Ellen south park episode-"my grandfather was a lesbian so that makes me 1/4 lesbian!" I guess if two more of Cartman's grandparents were lesbians then he'd be 3/4 lesbian.........
On my wishlist of qualities for my soulmate where ever he is, is that he is a guitarist I connect with musically. I think that would be immensely hot !
To the OP, I've played in a NW band where the leader was open - to the point of being considered an activist. While the other two gentlemen in the band and myself have been quite content with our lifelong hetero lifestyles, we never had a problem with her or playing in several Pride festivals.
I guess I never really thought about it, as the groove of the band was so good and we were very tight musically. But that wasn't your post I know.
In terms of local geography - and my apologies for not reading the entire thread, I'm not sure where you're at in Seattle - I'd recommend Olympia and Capitol as being very open/tolerant regions that have a great vibe. And don't write off Tacoma - we're pretty happy underneath the radar too.
I guess I never really thought about it, as the groove of the band was so good and we were very tight musically. But that wasn't your post I know.
In terms of local geography - and my apologies for not reading the entire thread, I'm not sure where you're at in Seattle - I'd recommend Olympia and Capitol as being very open/tolerant regions that have a great vibe. And don't write off Tacoma - we're pretty happy underneath the radar too.
Wow.... How did I miss this thread!
Before I comment, I need to clarify something that is a personal pet peeve. I lived in San Diego in the late 80's through the 90's, and that was when I came to accept that I was gay. I dislike the term "come out of the closet". It makes it sound like one day you just go "TaDa - I'm gay!". For many of us, it was a long drawn out process of accepting something you recognize you can not change. For me, it was realizing live is too short to be afraid and resentful of your own feelings. Other than telling my parents that I am gay, there was no moment where I could point to and go "there, I'm out!". I teach high school, and in mind that things are different now than they were when I was younger. As a general rule, society is much more accepting of being gay than when I was struggling to accept it. One of the biggest fears is having friends and parents turn their back on you if they find out. As it turned out, my fears were unfounded and no one turned me away. But I certainly know many who were disowned by friends and parents.
I know exactly where Alex is coming from. In 93, I became the bass player / co VOX for RareForm, a wonderful band with a great bunch of guys. It took me two years to tell them I'm gay. The response was basically, "so what, now lets play!". Before and after that, I have felt nothing but great happiness to be playing with these guys. But I was always looking for a side project. I wanted to find other gay musicians to either jam with and form a band. Part of it was based on the idea of convincing some of the gay clubs to feature us, and that would have been a great way to quickly build a fan base. But there was something else. Next time any of you are with your band mates, keep track of how much of the banter steers to chicks and boobs and all things related to dating, mating, and sex.
I bet you don't even realize how much it comes up. Being gay in a room of straight friends, you notice. You find that, even though you may have a funny quip that relates to being gay, you constantly self edit your comments about those kind of things. Even though your bandmates are your friends, best friends in my case, you generally can't talk about your life in the same way as your other bandmates do.
You would think that a town as big as San Diego would have quite a few gay rock musicians. In all the years in San Diego, I found only two gay musicians. One guy was a keyboard / synth player doing new age, the other was a really good guitarist. But he wanted to do a Gilmore cover band, which would not have been a problem, but he was also BIG into coke, which was. So I never got my project off the ground.
Now that I'm looking back and reflecting, maybe I didn't try hard enough to find other gay musicians. I never bothered to place ads in the gay papers or post notices in some of the clubs.... keep in mind this is pre-internet. Anyway, I know exactly where Alex is coming from. It would have been nice to have that circle of friends that you could connect with on both a musical level, and a personal one.
Mike aka Sonicfrog.
Gotta go work now.
Before I comment, I need to clarify something that is a personal pet peeve. I lived in San Diego in the late 80's through the 90's, and that was when I came to accept that I was gay. I dislike the term "come out of the closet". It makes it sound like one day you just go "TaDa - I'm gay!". For many of us, it was a long drawn out process of accepting something you recognize you can not change. For me, it was realizing live is too short to be afraid and resentful of your own feelings. Other than telling my parents that I am gay, there was no moment where I could point to and go "there, I'm out!". I teach high school, and in mind that things are different now than they were when I was younger. As a general rule, society is much more accepting of being gay than when I was struggling to accept it. One of the biggest fears is having friends and parents turn their back on you if they find out. As it turned out, my fears were unfounded and no one turned me away. But I certainly know many who were disowned by friends and parents.
I know exactly where Alex is coming from. In 93, I became the bass player / co VOX for RareForm, a wonderful band with a great bunch of guys. It took me two years to tell them I'm gay. The response was basically, "so what, now lets play!". Before and after that, I have felt nothing but great happiness to be playing with these guys. But I was always looking for a side project. I wanted to find other gay musicians to either jam with and form a band. Part of it was based on the idea of convincing some of the gay clubs to feature us, and that would have been a great way to quickly build a fan base. But there was something else. Next time any of you are with your band mates, keep track of how much of the banter steers to chicks and boobs and all things related to dating, mating, and sex.
I bet you don't even realize how much it comes up. Being gay in a room of straight friends, you notice. You find that, even though you may have a funny quip that relates to being gay, you constantly self edit your comments about those kind of things. Even though your bandmates are your friends, best friends in my case, you generally can't talk about your life in the same way as your other bandmates do. You would think that a town as big as San Diego would have quite a few gay rock musicians. In all the years in San Diego, I found only two gay musicians. One guy was a keyboard / synth player doing new age, the other was a really good guitarist. But he wanted to do a Gilmore cover band, which would not have been a problem, but he was also BIG into coke, which was. So I never got my project off the ground.
Now that I'm looking back and reflecting, maybe I didn't try hard enough to find other gay musicians. I never bothered to place ads in the gay papers or post notices in some of the clubs.... keep in mind this is pre-internet. Anyway, I know exactly where Alex is coming from. It would have been nice to have that circle of friends that you could connect with on both a musical level, and a personal one.
Mike aka Sonicfrog.
Gotta go work now.
That's hilarious! I was just about to post a thread for gay/bi bassists then I saw this thread! LOL Weird how coincidences happen like that sometimes!
So this is probably the best place as any, to say that I want to get in contact with other gay & bisexual male bassists.
Hit me up!
Im a bi dude who plays bass! Woot!
My girlfriend (who is also a bi musician [piano & vocalist]) and I play this game all the time.
Nah, a flannel bass should do just fine.
LMFAO
"If you're worried about what other people think of you, you'd be surprised to know how seldom they do." - Dr. Phil
Now if you find any cool gay guitarist that play green guitars you best let me know right away ! 
Does it really matter whether someone's gay or not? Surely as long as you're a half decent problem it shouldn't matter. Just look at Halford, Bottum, Mercury etc.
I think the real idiots are people who think that jsut because of someone's personal decisions they become a completly different person.
I think the real idiots are people who think that jsut because of someone's personal decisions they become a completly different person.
Now if you find any cool gay guitarist that play green guitars you best let me know right away !
MM, I've got a couple of spare guitars and some green spray paint..... I'll get right on it!!!!
