Gene Simmons has trademarked Tablature ?!??!

Discussion in 'Bassists [BG]' started by comatosedragon, Apr 1, 2018.

  1. comatosedragon

    comatosedragon Gold Supporting Member

    Oct 12, 2014
    Rockingham VA {616}
    So this is a very interesting read.

    Original Site:
    Gene Simmons Has Successfully Trademarked Tabs, Here's How It Affects UG


    cut/paste:
    "We are sad to announce that Ultimate Guitar will very soon undergo major structural changes.

    This might seem like a sudden move, but we've actually been fighting a hard legal battle over trademark issues for around 10 months. On March 31, 2018, this battle was lost.

    It all started on June 9, 2017. On this day, Gene Simmons of KISS filed a number of trademark applications, including the well-reported attempt to trademark the iconic devil horns gesture. On that same pile however, Gene also filed an application to trademark tabs.

    Mr. Simmons alleged he came up with the tabbing system around the time KISS released their self-titled debut back in 1974. Bass players are simple-minded individuals, Gene said, and he is their king. And to help them play music, he took what he described as a "ridiculously complex" system of traditional notation and introduced tabs.

    The USPTO committee said Simmons' story and the evidence he provided are solid, thus approving his application. We fought as hard as possible to repeal this decision, but ultimately couldn't do anything.

    This left us thoroughly under Mr. Simmons' thumb. He proceeded to give Ultimate Guitar an ultimatum, saying:

    "The site name is to be changed to Ultimate-Gene-Simmons.com. The News section is to publish an article about Gene Simmons five times a day. Each page is to display a pop-up ad linking to the sale page for the latest Gene Simmons box set. If there's anyone who knows how to make an intrusive ad it's Ultimate Guitar, hence the exact strategy of executing the said ads is to be determined by the site's marketing team. And what's up with tabs being free even though the site has to pay royalties for hosting those tabs? A $99 weekly subscription is obviously the only solution."
    Ultimate Guitar CEO and founder Eugeny Naidenov issued the following response:

    "I ain't sellin' no shaging boxes for that clown."
    As expected, Eugeny was given until the end of working hours to pack up his stuff and leave. We are not yet fully certain to which extent Mr. Simmons will apply all the demands, but will certainly know soon, so stay tuned for updates.

    You can find the original devil horns trademark application here. The tab application can be found here.

    Uncle UG is dead, may Uncle Gene have mercy on your soul.


    <<<I forgot what day it was when I first read this>>>
     
  2. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Moderator Staff Member

    Sounds just like the kind of thing Simmons would do... ;)
     
    PillO, Frank77, pjbassist and 4 others like this.
  3. Picton

    Picton

    Aug 16, 2017
    Reading, MA
    Wow.

    April Fools?
     
    PillO, REMBO, Matthew_84 and 2 others like this.
  4. CryingBass

    CryingBass Just a Fool Whose Intentions are Good Gold Supporting Member

    Apr 8, 2016
    Simmons Says
     
    Coolhandjjl likes this.
  5. ddnidd1

    ddnidd1 Supporting Member

    You do know it's April 1st.
     
    PillO, Caca de Kick, Artman and 2 others like this.
  6. I think I need to just stay off the internet today...
     
    St_G, Loring, LowActionHero and 4 others like this.
  7. toowrongfoo

    toowrongfoo

    Nov 25, 2017
    My cat doesn't understand Aprils fools, and I don't usually pay too much attention, YOU GOT ME!
     
  8. toowrongfoo

    toowrongfoo

    Nov 25, 2017
    But it still sounds like the kinda thing he'd do :D
     
  9. dtripoli

    dtripoli

    Aug 15, 2010
    CA
    The money quote and best joke...yet hasn't it been said, most good jokes have a bit of truth in them.
     
    smogg and comatosedragon like this.
  10. Kro

    Kro

    May 7, 2003
    New Jersey
    Good god, I only came upon this article this morning, with April fool's totally off the brain.

    I'm not sure what it says about me, or about the ludicrous claims that Gene is prone to making, but I absolutely was fooled up until the line I quoted above. :rollno:
     
  11. JRA

    JRA my words = opinion Gold Supporting Member

    funny!
     
  12. April Fools or not, F Gene Simmons anyway.
     
  13. This was just believable enough to make me question if it was true
     
    k.graz, Crater and Kro like this.
  14. Marley's Ghost

    Marley's Ghost Supporting Member

    Feb 9, 2002
    Tampa, FL
    Nice one. I bought a lifetime membership so Gene better stay away! :laugh:
     
  15. Drucifer

    Drucifer Not currently practicing Gold Supporting Member

    Apr 20, 2009
    Houston Heights, Texas
    Endorsements: your name could be here, Mr. Sadowsky!
    Ha! It took me until Ultimate-Gene-Simmons.com to figure it out.
     
    SirMjac28, pie_man_25 and Kro like this.
  16. I don't care who you are, that's funny. :roflmao:
     
  17. Last edited: Apr 2, 2018
    comatosedragon likes this.
  18. mcarp555

    mcarp555 Guest

    Jul 14, 2013
    I take it someone didn't get the joke?

    Ah, you edited yours, so I'll edit mine. Glad you got it after all!
     
  19. I'm not going to lie: it got me until about halfway through. Then I looked at the date section on my watch. Also, the last link in the article is pretty cheeky :)
     
    comatosedragon likes this.
  20. DavC

    DavC

    May 17, 2005
    Tallmadge , Ohio
    never been a fan ...

    but i agree with ' the king of simpletons ' ... kiss = keep it simple stupid