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Get off my LAWN! "Grumpy Old Farts"

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#701
Neener said:
Gents, my procedure today was the one hand on your shoulder, the other hand in a glove and he says bend over and try to relax procedure.

The "3 foot long disappearing camera trick" is on the schedule for sometime in the near future.

Sharkbait, good tip on the pineapple, I'll definitely give it a try. :)
Click to expand...

Reminds me of the joke:

Q: What's worse than the doctors hand on your shoulder?
A: When you realize that he has both hands on your shoulders
 
#702
I just got back from the front yard. My black lab had some sort of skeleton about 2 feet long that wasn't 100 percent skeleton (stunk pretty bad). Damn dog's about 18 months old and thinks every thing's a fun game. He would run 20 yards off every time I tried to take the thing from him. I baby my labs and they all live inside with me… so Marmaduke figured he'd get his way, being younger and faster than me. So, I grabbed some landscaping wire that I happened to rip from the flower bed today and when he did his half back juke on me I sent it out like spider man. This was in the dark and Duke was frightened more than hurt that I'd grown the power to physically correct him at 10 yards. Young pup gave a yelp and ran to the porch to sit by the front door. I obliged him; inside he went. I bagged the fossil and put it in the garbage can… under flashlight it looked like a horror movie.

ah, the beauty of nature in the spring time
fnord!
 
#703
Just got back from the race track and I can't find a grump anywhere today. Went down to run my 63 LeMans for the first time and had a buddy follow me in my PU truck just in case i blew anything up and had to tow it home. I keep my 8 10 in the back of the truck so it was in there with tools , slicks and the towbar. Not only did several people come up to me to comment on the car , three people were very impressed at the speaker cab sitting in the back of the truck , at a drag strip no less. Oh yeah , the car went 13.5 seconds in the quarter mile at 101 miles per hour. What a great day.:hyper:
 
#706
400 ci 8 to 1 compression holly 750 double pumper Lunati 490 lift cam. muncie m 20 4 speed tranny 4:56 12 bolt posi rear. I'm pretty sure that if it had a high compression engine that it would have been in the 12's. I have a set of high compression heads for it but I don't know yet if I'm going to put them on. It's a real pain to change them on a 63. The engine has to be loose and jacked up to get to the rear drivers side head bolts. Steering column is in the way of a couple of the head bolts.
 
#709
Ahmmmmm.....

OK, you seem to be a friendly bunch of guys....

But who the hell are you? o.O

Had a gig yesterday. Middle of the set I had to sit down on my SWR Workingmans 212''-cab due to my hernia problems. This youngster guitarrist on my right side decidet to sit on my right knee. He was grinning at me like "look at this, his seems to be fun"....

So what the f**k I am doing the schlep of a "seniors-cab" that is able to have a seat on when guitarrists decide to hurt my knees? Get your own seat - and get off my knees! Jeeeezuzz....

Grumpeli grumpedy grew.... This cab is my seat, not for you!

Edit: Awww, not to forget the hemorrhoid-massage while sitting on the cab. Its a relief!
 
#713
Let Marmaduke out this morning while I did my toilet.
Went out side to find him chawing on the bleading neck of a beheaded freshly killed bunny wabbit.
I know what you're thinking: But I keep dog food in this monster's bowl 24/7 (receives left over scraps after every human meal); I give him chew toys. He is simply a dna/rna cellularly programmed hunter.
Had to bag it and put it in the trashcan because damn dog would find it anywhere I'd bury it or stash it down the gravel road, etc. Also, have to replace about 30 shingles on the roof from the winter? storms? (that's only supposed to happen during hurricane season, down hear). Back hurts from working on the roof :mad:

fnord!
 
#715
FFTT said:
Dad Gummit!

What the hellfire tarnation yew tawkin' 'bout?
Click to expand...

Anything that pissed me off today.…

I'll tell you one thing, I'm sorta glad you ain't one of them talking 'bout getting hinny holes invaded by…
well Anything!
B leaves and the whole thread deviates to colonoscopy horror stories? Damn it, I took a scope down the throat and finger in the sphincter, but I move on…

Lots in the present to be grumpy about,
fnord!
 
#717
Our band was sitting around the bar after playing at our favorite local Blues jam a few weeks ago. Suddenly we had an epiphany. We will no longer say, "I'm going to take a leak." We will henceforth say, "Pardon me while I go do battle with my prostate." Yep, that's what we agreed on. :)

M. M.
 
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