• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Grabbed my ass!!!

#61
Played a gig last night in a restaurant/bar. Several old friends came to the gig, including a lady I've known since middle school who's always been somewhat on the flirtatious and aggressive side. As I walked past her to go to the bathroom between sets, I felt a little grab on my back end. I turned around, and she gave me a playful wink. As I returned, she planted herself in front of me, said "I guess I didn't get your attention the first time" and grabbed my junk... IN FULL VIEW OF MY WIFE (whom she hadn't met up to that point) AND THE THREE PEOPLE SHE (the flirtatious lady) CAME WITH. My wife, fighting to control herself, introduced herself and said "You might not want to do that again, at least not to him." I told the lady in question "Thirty-five years ago I might actually have enjoyed that... but Jesus, in front of my wife?!? In public?!? Where do you get your f---ing nerve?" Profuse apologies, no excuses (she didn't claim to be drunk) - and a suggestion by all interested parties that it best not happen again.

I never knew she felt that way... but she's certainly not being invited to future gigs...
 
#64
Young and in my prime, doing a club date in Michigan, I was on stage, when a female patron grabbed a handful of my junk. I was so shocked by it, my brain went blank. I made a mistake. The look on my face must have been something, because she disappeared through the crowd and I never saw her again. What a shame. I was single at the time and she had a bangin' body. Maybe she just wasn't impressed. ;)
 
#65
I had a gay dude follow me around one night at a club I played at a few times in high school. I'm pretty easy going and he wasn't aggressive, so I didn't really put much effort into getting him to leave me alone at first. Eventually I started getting tired of the shenanigans and my girlfriend at the time wasn't there, unfortunately, but I got saved by a really hot lady that was apparently more in love with me than this dude was. She had a nice rack. And me being a tool, threw a pick down her shirt and she then tracked me down on Facebook through the band page. Which then got her my phone number. Which led to some pictures being sent to my phone later that night while I was at the guitarists house drinking all of the beer in his parents fridge. I told her that I had a girlfriend and she asked when I was gonna break up with her! I ignored her after that and she eventually quit trying. I stayed with that girlfriend for almost 3 years after this incident, btw. And she still to this day has no idea that any of this happened haha.

It's a shame she's taken now that I'm not with that girl anymore :P
 
#67
It happens. Like others have said, just be cool about it and everything will be alright.
In 2012, I was playing in a little American Legion hall in a blues cover band. The Legion had asked us to run a blues open mike night and play some of our set tunes as well. This gay couple comes in and one of the guys takes a real interest in our handsome devil rhythm guitarist who's straight and married. Yes, much alcohol was involved. But, the guy turned out to be cool and belted out a few blues tunes with us before he got too blotto to sing. What did his partner think? Well, his partner turned out to be a pretty good bass player when I let him sit in.
At the same gig, a guy we thought was crazy with papers came up to our BL and asked if he could sit in on harmonica if he went home and got his. Our BL says sure. He came back to the Legion hall after a while with a sack full of blues harps and that dude could and did wail.
Turned out to be a fun gig especially for an open mike. I'm more open minded than I used to be.
 
#68
OK one of my wild stories from back in the day...During a gig in Tulsa, OK. I had a chick come up to me between sets and asked if I wanted to go outside and smoke a joint with her. I said "sure" (This was like 1979). We walked down the block to an ally and slipped in between a couple of buildings. She lights up the joint, takes a bit hit and hands the joint to me. she says" here take this, then drops to her knees right in front of me, and takes care of bidness while I stood there and smoked the whole joint...I got wasted and had a happy ending at the same time...
 
#69
fishtx said:
OK one of my wild stories from back in the day...During a gig in Tulsa, OK. I had a chick come up to me between sets and asked if I wanted to go outside and smoke a joint with her. I said "sure" (This was like 1979). We walked down the block to an ally and slipped in between a couple of buildings. She lights up the joint, takes a bit hit and hands the joint to me. she says" here take this, then drops to her knees right in front of me, and takes care of bidness while I stood there and smoked the whole joint...I got wasted and had a happy ending at the same time...
Click to expand...

WE HAVE A WINNER!
 
#71
I once played a show where we let the girls in the audience come up on the stage and dance if they wanted to. Well, the girl dancing closest to me wasn't really attractive in my book, but she was convinced that she had to dance with me. Anyway, she squatted down and I felt something squishy hit my shoe. She wasn't wearing underwear and it literally left a mark on my Converse All-Star. (I still shudder at the thought!). I must have given quite the disgusted look when I caught the drummer's eye because he lost a 16th note as a result. He was really laughing that hard, and was the only band member other than myself that saw what happened. I can safely say that most people wouldn't want this girl to squat on their shoe! I certainly didn't appreciate it!
 
#72
Lownote38 said:
I once played a show where we let the girls in the audience come up on the stage and dance if they wanted to. Well, the girl dancing closest to me wasn't really attractive in my book, but she was convinced that she had to dance with me. Anyway, she squatted down and I felt something squishy hit my shoe. She wasn't wearing underwear and it literally left a mark on my Converse All-Star. (I still shudder at the thought!). I must have given quite the disgusted look when I caught the drummer's eye because he lost a 16th note as a result. He was really laughing that hard, and was the only band member other than myself that saw what happened. I can safely say that most people wouldn't want this girl to squat on their shoe! I certainly didn't appreciate it!
Click to expand...

Horrible, man. Just horrible.... I feel bad for you now.
 
#74
Lownote38 said:
I once played a show where we let the girls in the audience come up on the stage and dance if they wanted to. Well, the girl dancing closest to me wasn't really attractive in my book, but she was convinced that she had to dance with me. Anyway, she squatted down and I felt something squishy hit my shoe. She wasn't wearing underwear and it literally left a mark on my Converse All-Star. (I still shudder at the thought!). I must have given quite the disgusted look when I caught the drummer's eye because he lost a 16th note as a result. He was really laughing that hard, and was the only band member other than myself that saw what happened. I can safely say that most people wouldn't want this girl to squat on their shoe! I certainly didn't appreciate it!
Click to expand...

Did you keep the shoes?:eek:
 
#75
At the gig last Friday this gorgeous woman started trying to grind on me whilst playing and my first reaction was to swing my bass off to the side and play with right hand hammer ons and let her ;)
Much grabbing happened that night afterwards as well, bass player does occasionally get the girl
 
#78
If someone surprises me with a feel I generally let it go. Occasionally, I will push the person into a seat, have the band strike up darling Nikki (simplified) and do a bump and grind chair dance.

While "tucked."

And with a piercing that makes it all feel like "pierced female".

and I'm in boy shorts, fishnets, split skirt, 30 eyelet goth boots and no shirt with my long hair.

Always get a combination response of mortified/curious/excited followed by some serious questioning at the breaks.

Most the time it will be something like. "You must have no/a small member".

Too which I generally reply (based on the attitude) "It is huge and you know it" or "soooo small".

If the conversation moves further I can point out it must be huge, after all, how do you think I am so confident? Then a good ole game of I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

Bachelorette parties are the worst for the gropes, but once the chair dance totally backfired.

The bachelorette broke down crying a minute in, she was from an EXTREMELY religious background and was worried she had committed the sin of "homosexuality" in some way and that she saved herself for her husband. (and she was AT a gay bar for her party!) I repeatedly reassured her I was a man. Given I wasn't wearing a shirt you figured that would be obvious. (Though in hindsight she might have gotten off which she may not have experienced before)

Finally I asked if she had a friend I could prove I was 'male' too. One of her friends giddily bounced forwards volunteering. Went into the DJ booth (pulled curtain, it has its own room), I said okay, "but you have to show me yours," she smiled, and fifteen minutes later the door is being banged on by my bass player saying we have to go on. Great night. If it all wasn't so sincere I would chalk it up to a setup. And if it was a setup, high five, you can play me like that any night!
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back