Grocery store behavior.

[knucklehead G]

Awesome job on the mom in the OP.

I did a lot of the raising of my sister, who's spent her whole life knowing she gets three warnings on things, so I'm not sitting around repeating myself all day.

Please stop, stop it now, stop it or else <situation appropriate action>, followed by action. Its worked with her and she's 12 now, and while I'm biased people say she's well adjusted. When I have kids, I intend to run it the same way. She'll be ready for her first job too: Verbal warning, written warning, opportunity to beg for your job, opportunity to look for a new one.

 

[madmatt]

I remember going to the store once late at night and there was some guy there looking at cantalopes. He would shake it, then listen to it. Shake it, listen to it...
I have no idea what he was listening for.

 

[RosieB]

I don't remember any repeated threats of discipline as a child, and I never did it to my children. I got, and so did my kids, a warning along with a suggested course of action to correct the socially unacceptable behavior. Failure to comply resulted in age/situation appropriate discipline.

-Mike

Exactly. You choose to continue that course of action, you've chosen to accept the consequences.

 

[BurningSkies]

I didn't know Ben & Jerry made chlorpromazine fudge crunch.

LIKE.

 

[gttim]

This evening while waiting in line at my local Railys, a woman in the next line had an unruly child in her cart. He continually leaned out to grab some candy. The mother, finally said, "If you grab for that candy one more time, I'll slap your hand".

...

The mother, looked at the woman and said, "Or he will grow up taking whatever he want's, possibly your daughters virginity".

#1 Lady should have dealt with son first time he grabbed at some candy and saved everybody some aggravation. Other than that, no problem as long as she actually follows up. Obviously she does because the kid quit, but why not do that the first time!

#2 Probably going to take that girl's virginity anyways. Or somebody will. I would have come back with "Well, maybe if I had a son." (Not that there is anything wrong with that.)

 

[MN_Bass]

It's nice when parent can show some grit in a appropriate way. Unlike my neighbors kids who think my yard is a playground.

 

[Stilettoprefer]

I love this.

 

[Tituscrow]

Hmmm. Worrying undercurrent of pro kid-smacking here...

Firstly, yep, that's a pretty sharp comeback from mother #1. Wonder what she'd have come up with had the kids genders been reversed?

Secondly, as a parent, I do not, have never or will never use my physical size and strength to intimidate my little girls into doing the right thing. If you can't control your kids with your brain and your mouth and have to resort to striking them - no matter how 'light' you deem your touch to be - then that ain't right, under any circumstances.

No doubt there will be the 'it never did me any harm' brigade, but actually it DID do you harm, because you now think as an adult it's ok to hit a kid.

Feel free to disagree. And yes, it's none of my business how you choose to parent your kids, just like it's none of yours how I choose to parent mine.

Surely I can't be the only one thinking this?

 

[MJ5150]

Who said anything about striking their children?

-Mike

 

[Gaius46]

Hmmm. Worrying undercurrent of pro kid-smacking here...

Firstly, yep, that's a pretty sharp comeback from mother #1. Wonder what she'd have come up with had the kids genders been reversed?

Secondly, as a parent, I do not, have never or will never use my physical size and strength to intimidate my little girls into doing the right thing. If you can't control your kids with your brain and your mouth and have to resort to striking them - no matter how 'light' you deem your touch to be - then that ain't right, under any circumstances.

No doubt there will be the 'it never did me any harm' brigade, but actually it DID do you harm, because you now think as an adult it's ok to hit a kid.

Feel free to disagree. And yes, it's none of my business how you choose to parent your kids, just like it's none of yours how I choose to parent mine.

Surely I can't be the only one thinking this?

Ok I'll disagree. I don't particularly care for hitting a child either but sometimes it is the appropriate or only course of action.

Lots of kids, my own included, are dense and only get it when the consequences are painful. Usually that pain can take the form of loss of privilege but when you're out of the house and the behavior needs to stop NOW something more immediate may be called for.

 

[MatticusMania]

Hmmm. Worrying undercurrent of pro kid-smacking here...

Firstly, yep, that's a pretty sharp comeback from mother #1. Wonder what she'd have come up with had the kids genders been reversed?

Secondly, as a parent, I do not, have never or will never use my physical size and strength to intimidate my little girls into doing the right thing. If you can't control your kids with your brain and your mouth and have to resort to striking them - no matter how 'light' you deem your touch to be - then that ain't right, under any circumstances.

No doubt there will be the 'it never did me any harm' brigade, but actually it DID do you harm, because you now think as an adult it's ok to hit a kid.

Feel free to disagree. And yes, it's none of my business how you choose to parent your kids, just like it's none of yours how I choose to parent mine.

Surely I can't be the only one thinking this?

I dont personally see smacking a kid on the wrist in the same way I do "striking a child", so Im just going to go ahead and say there was no harm done here.

 

[Stumbo]

The mother, finally said, "If you grab for that candy one more time, I'll slap your hand".

The child stopped with a whimper.

Who said anything about striking their children?
-Mike

Uh, you don't think a lot of "slapping the hand" and other parts of the kid's body has ensued prior to arriving at the point of the child stopping his current behavior "with a whimper"?

 

[knucklehead G]

The only negative consequence of being raised in a pro "kid-smacking" household that I've experienced is my acceptance of the act and understanding that if you do it right, it works. My wife grew up in a household where this was never an option, and they panicked and tried to get her to leave me after they saw us dueling with NERF swords on Facebook thinking I was some hyperviolent criminal type.

I guess we think whatever we grow up around is normal. I was on the three warning system, I think I got kid-smacked maybe three times in my life and I remember deserving two of those instances beyond any debate. One still comes up at family dinners, but will probably never be resolved fully.

 

[mkandolf]

Just spent a week at my sister's place and she wonders why her kids (and dogs) listen to me and not to her. Simple, I follow through, you don't. She thinks she does follow through after yelling at them ten or more times to do or stop something.

 

[JimmyThunder]

No doubt there will be the 'it never did me any harm' brigade, but actually it DID do you harm, because you now think as an adult it's ok to hit a kid.

That's some terrible logic right there. "You are wrong, and I can prove you're wrong by pointing out that you think you're right, when you are actually wrong."

 

[MJ5150]

Uh, you don't think a lot of "slapping the hand" and other parts of the kid's body has ensued prior to arriving at the point of the child stopping his current behavior "with a whimper"?

A lot? No. Other parts of the body? No. Some kids get it after once or twice.

-Mike

 

[Tituscrow]

Ok I'll disagree. I don't particularly care for hitting a child either but sometimes it is the appropriate or only course of action.

Lots of kids, my own included, are dense and only get it when the consequences are painful. Usually that pain can take the form of loss of privilege but when you're out of the house and the behavior needs to stop NOW something more immediate may be called for.

I am with you 100% that kids need to learn about boundaries and consequences. However, as a much physically smaller and weaker human being, with only a few years of life experience, even a slap on the wrist could come at you as a fairly violent action? I wasn't hit as a kid, so I'm just guessing. However, I have worked with kids for a LONG time, and domestic abuse of kids often starts with the thin end of the wedge that is 'a slap on the wrist'.

Yes, kids push us, try us, test us and sometimes you just want to explode when they don't conform to your expectations immediately. But they are kids, and that's what kids do. Always have, always will.

Surely patience, conversation and understanding are key to winning the battle? Parents that strike kids take the wrong route to getting compliance.

Surely the fact that they keep having to do it proves it doesn't work?

 

[dbhokie]

Hmmm. Worrying undercurrent of pro kid-smacking here...

Firstly, yep, that's a pretty sharp comeback from mother #1. Wonder what she'd have come up with had the kids genders been reversed?

Secondly, as a parent, I do not, have never or will never use my physical size and strength to intimidate my little girls into doing the right thing. If you can't control your kids with your brain and your mouth and have to resort to striking them - no matter how 'light' you deem your touch to be - then that ain't right, under any circumstances.

No doubt there will be the 'it never did me any harm' brigade, but actually it DID do you harm, because you now think as an adult it's ok to hit a kid.

Feel free to disagree. And yes, it's none of my business how you choose to parent your kids, just like it's none of yours how I choose to parent mine.

Surely I can't be the only one thinking this?

If I ever have kids I am sure they will be spanked quite often. In my experiences kids without it tend to be much worse behaved than kids with (all my friends seem to have kids now). There is an unbelievable difference IME.

If the kids gender had been reversed it would have been a gay joke I suppose.

None of my business how anyone does their parenting, but it is my business when their bratty kid won't behave themselves and is disruptive or even specifically affects me personally because of their lack of discipline.


And yeah, your logic on that last statement is pretty rough.

As an aside, I do believe it is important that it is seen as loving and re-inforcing. There is a big difference in my opinion between abusing a child and spanking a child (or disciplining in such a fashion). My father used to always tell me the generic "this hurts me more than it hurts you". Of course during the act I wanted to say "well, give me the belt then". I am starting to understand now disciplining some of my nephews and nieces that I love dearly. Although I do not have the experience of a parent yet. Spanking should never be done in anger, but in love and with the desire to teach wisdom to the child. IMO,IME..etc..etc

 

[knucklehead G]

That's some terrible logic right there. "You are wrong, and I can prove you're wrong by pointing out that you think you're right, when you are actually wrong."

This is a fairly standard (and effective) argument for anyone fighting something they disagree with on principle alone. Its effective in showing you who's worth arguing with, because once you run into this argument, you aren't going to make any progress past that point and you can just get on with your life.


Anyways. This is quickly becoming something entirely other than what I believe the OP had in mind. I fully support the mother in this story, again, and I hope that once I have offspring of my own that I come up with something this epic at least once.

 

[JimmyThunder]

Do you have kids of your own, Tituscrow?